Is this the future unvegan?
As if we don’t have enough to worry about with global warming. What with the crazy 110 degree weather I’m experiencing in the hellish valley or dwindling glaciers, now we have to worry about shrinkage. Now, not that kind of shrinkage. That kind comes with the cold. No, the shrinkage I write of affects all unvegans, whether man, woman or beast.
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Thank you meat for my brain.
We unvegans tend to think of vegans as less than human and although this typically stems from the fact that they don’t really eat human food, sometimes a study comes along and explains even more. According to a study of fossils in northern Kenya, the consumption of animals was a huge catalyst in changing us from silly primates to genius humans.
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So realistic you can smell it.
Have you ever looked up at a food billboard for a place like McDonald’s or Outback and thought the thing looked so good you could taste it? Or at the very least, smell it? Well next time it might not just be in your head.
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To meat and beyond.
What have vegetables done for you lately? Sure, if you’re not an unvegan perhaps they have given you a malnourishing meal or two, but beyond that have they done much more than kill your environment? Probably not. Meanwhile, meat has been progressing steadily towards the future of transportation.
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Baconize me
Just when you thought it was safe to be an unvegan in this world, the Harvard School of Public Health had to go and link processed meats to heart disease and diabetes. Never fear, though, because there’s a big kid on the block ready to defend meat to the death, the American Meat Institute.
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Boo CO2
Have you ever wondered what the carbon footprint of your food is? No? Me neither, but apparently some people do. Fortunately, the University of New South Wales in Australia has found that red meat is quite the carbon-efficient food, bringing one more bit of great news from the world of meat-eating.
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Look like summer to you?
It’s really not summer until you’ve had some Oberon. Sure, the weather may be warm, the grass may be green and the county may be forcing you to water your lawn only on odd-numbered days, but in truth, none of this matters until you get some Oberon in you. Now, you may be wondering, “What is Oberon?” If you turn to Wikipedia (the source of all knowledge), you will be lead to believe that Oberon is the king of the fairies. But this is just hogwash. In fact, Oberon is more likely to be a king of beers. No, not the king of beers…some brewery in St. Louis has that copyrighted.
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