The Unvegan

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Do Burgers, Not Drugs

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Crime doesn’t pay. Except in burgers.

I don’t do drugs, but if I did I wonder how upset I would be if I were Timethy Delarrance Morrison. Morrison recently attempted to buy some pot, but when he opened his bag of contraband he instead found a bunch of hamburger meat. Maybe the dealer accidentally swapped his bag of munchies with pot, but Morrison was not amused.

By the time Morrison discovered the meat, his dealer was driving off. I would have celebrated the surprise meat, but Morrison did the opposite. He shot at the car and was apprehended by the police. Then they found pot on him and tossed him in jail for possession and attempted murder.

Clearly, drugs don’t pay, but this made me wonder a little bit about myself. If I purchased a bag of hamburgers and opened it up to find pot instead, I’m not sure what I would do. If I had a gun on me, I like to think that I wouldn’t shoot it at my burger dealer, but who is to say? I don’t do well when deprived of meat, and I would be one unhappy unvegan. Fortunately, I don’t think the scenario is very likely.

But as for Morrison, I think he learned a valuable lesson: When life gives your burgers, eat ’em, don’t shoot at the hand that feeds you.

(via UPI)