The Unvegan

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Meat Doping

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Tastes like doped meat.

There is no question that meat is performance enhancing. The protein helps build muscles, the iron helps the blood flow and the vitamins of the B variety just generally keep the body functioning. Try getting all that from a vegan salad. But even though meat clearly enhances performance, there is only one man who has claimed it as a drug: Alberto Contador.

Just who is Alberto Contador? Well, for those who pay attention to vestigial (vestigial because with the constant doping allegations, it really is as useless as the appendix) sports like cycling, he is a three-time Tour de France winner. But, as with pretty much every winner of that competition, he has been accused of doping. These cyclists always seem to come up with funky excuses, but Contador’s is certainly my least favorite. He blamed it on some bad steak.

Really? As if meat doesn’t get enough bad press already, Contador had to go and accuse steak of doping him? The least he could do is blame it on a bottle of whiskey or a rusty needle. Or even fess up to breaking cycling rules. But instead he chose to blame sweet, delicious and harmless steak. Sounds to me like he is a dope who eats meat, rather than a man who was doped by meat. Don’t worry, Contador, because long after your cycling awards have been stripped, steak will still be kicking back and enhancing performance the right way.

(via The Detroit Free Press)