Reviews

One Coin, Two Sides, Part I: Father’s Office

April 9th, 2009 Tweet Facebook Digg Stumble Reddit Comment (4)
Oh what have they done?!

Oh what have they done?!

For a huge selection of beer, Father’s Office is the place to go.  They also happen to have a reputation for one of the best burgers around town.  With this in mind, I set off for the Father’s Office in Culver City to get myself a taste of their legendary burger.

On the menu, I saw they had a few pretty good unvegan options, but they had a reputation for burgers and that’s what I had to get.  It came with carmelized onions, some sort of bacon substance, arugula, gruyere and maytag blue cheese.  This already wasn’t looking good.  Then I saw on the menu that the burger couldn’t be special ordered.  You either get it the way they make it, or you don’t get it at all.  We aren’t exactly talking a steak dinner here, so I felt it was pretty pretentious for a burger.  Nevertheless, I felt the need to try the burger.

When it came, it looked just as terrible as I had expected.  The layer of arugula was thicker than the layer of burger itself.  Then there were the carmelized onions, which had totally adhered themselves to the cheese.  The entire shape of the burger had diverged from the roundness we know and love into a sort  of ovular shape, with a bun to match.  Before picking all the veggies off, I had to give the burger in its entirety a shot.

I took a bite…

And nearly spit it all back up.

It took a lot of effort to swallow down the arugula and onion bits, but luckily I had a fancy beer to help propel it downward.  After, I immediately set to work at picking out the veggies.  It took a while, and left my fingers feeling carmelized, but I finally did it.

When I finally set to eating my burger, it had been reduced to a size unworthy of the $12 I had spent on it.  The burger, I have to admit, tasted pretty good, but stray bits of carmelized onions kept making their way into my bites.  It also dawned on me that I had no taste of bacon.  Was the bacon hidden somewhere amongst the carmelized onions that I had picked out?  Or worse, was it never there in the first place?

It took me about as much time to pick out the veggies as it ultimately took me to eat the burger.  If only Father’s Office would have shown some perspicacity and allowed me to order the burger I had wanted, my experience may actually have been enjoyable.  Instead, it made me long for a better burger.


4 Responses to “One Coin, Two Sides, Part I: Father’s Office”

  1. John says:

    There is no bacon on the Fathers Office burger.

  2. Aaron says:

    Way to stick it to those pretentious purveyors of delicious beers.

  3. Joel says:

    I don’t normally get angry at your reviews but you don’t deserve to review this burger. The burger comes with those topping for a reason, if you don’t like it, don’t get it. Yeah, it’s pretentious and obnoxious, but if this burger was as bad as your review says then no one would get it, there’d be no hype around town about it. You can’t give it a bad score just because veggies exist on the burger, it was made that way intentionally. This is a shallow review. The FO burger will forever be destined to fail in a reviewing system like yours… 7 out of 10 taste and 4 out of 10 over is just insulting to one of the best burgers in LA.

  4. Raiders757 says:

    I know I’m almost a year late to comment, but screw the person above me. If your paying $12 for a meal, then you should get it any damn way you wish. He has every right to review it, and he has every right to deduct points for them not giving him his burger the way he wants it. I can’t stand pretentious places. not being willing to take a few toppings off of a burger is just pathetic, and this place doesn’t deserve to open. I hope they go belly up in the very near future. There are plenty of other places that serve great beer with great food, the way people want it. Over priced hoidy toidy places, and the people that stick up for them can kiss my ass.

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Unvegan Top 20 for 2011

‘Tis the season for “Best of the Year” lists, so I thought I would join the party and put in my top 20 new restaurants from 2011.  By the way, this means the restaurants were new to me, not new to LA.  Please note that I am only including meals in the Los Angeles area.  As much as I loved the food on my travels, you can check any of those places out pretty quickly by clicking here.  So, without further caveat, here’s the best that 2011 had to offer for the unvegan:

20.  Cobras and Matadors

This tapas place in Mid-City is everything tapas should be.  From bacon-wrapped dates to a variety of cheeses, there is really something for anyone looking for a delicious meal.  Just beware, while tapas can be kept to a moderate price, when you throw a big group in with small plates, there are bound to be some people who don’t get their money’s worth.  But keep the group small and Cobras and Matadors will send you home full and happy.

19.  Steingarten

Dishing out delicious sausages, including a few of the exotic variety, Steingarten also offers up a pretty stellar beer selection.  If you’ve ever wanted to eat alligator in sausage form, Steingarten won’t disappoint, but they also serve a wider range of foods, including some pretty delicious burgers.  Their sausage execution, though, could use a bit of improvement, which pushed another sausage joint further up on the list. Continue Reading»