It seems like so long ago that I reported on the remarkable ability of plants to communicate with one another. But lo and behold, none other than the New York Times is finally following suit with news from the world of plants.
Most of what I do up here on unvegan.com is all in good fun. Yeah, I love my meat and while you might think vegetables are the thing I hate most in the world, they are not. In fact, I hate a lot of things more than vegetables (usually Ohio State). Right now, one of those things is Monsanto.
It’s happened before, and once again the vegans have used their love of vegetables to kill a baby. Last time, it was the French, but now the vegans have brought baby killing into America. Now, the baby-killing may have occurred in 2004, but just last week the killers were convicted of their heinous crime.
It’s a vegan-eat-vegan world out there today (although not literally, because that would be decidedly unvegan) and if you’re one of those meat haters, it’s getting harder and harder to know who to trust. The latest schism comes from an expose at quarrygirl.com. In this expose, it is revealed that VegNews, “the nation’s leading vegan magazine” has been using images with meat in them. That’s right, delicious succulent meat has successfully infiltrated the pages of VegNews, making it unvegan!
No, this isn’t a dead baby joke. If it were, the title might say something like, “What’s the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies?” (You can’t unload the bowling balls with a pitch fork) Sadly, this is no such joke and perfectly good baby child has perished at the hands of unfit vegan parents.
There is no question that meat is performance enhancing. The protein helps build muscles, the iron helps the blood flow and the vitamins of the B variety just generally keep the body functioning. Try getting all that from a vegan salad. But even though meat clearly enhances performance, there is only one man who has claimed it as a drug: Alberto Contador.
As if we don’t have enough to worry about with global warming. What with the crazy 110 degree weather I’m experiencing in the hellish valley or dwindling glaciers, now we have to worry about shrinkage. Now, not that kind of shrinkage. That kind comes with the cold. No, the shrinkage I write of affects all unvegans, whether man, woman or beast.
Just when you thought it was safe to be an unvegan in this world, the Harvard School of Public Health had to go and link processed meats to heart disease and diabetes. Never fear, though, because there’s a big kid on the block ready to defend meat to the death, the American Meat Institute.
Oil. Let’s be honest…if you don’t work for an oil company, you probably don’t like it. You deal with fluctuating oil prices and the constant threat that it will run out and the whole planet will be screwed. Plus, every once in a while you get an oil spill, and that is no good for anyone, unless you are in PETA.
We live in a world full of myth. Some of these myths are awesome, like Greek myths. But some myths just plain suck. Like myths about meat. They are rampant and they turn know-nothing vegans into high and mighty zealots. Well, it’s time to kiss those myths goodbye, because I have uncovered a handy little article that should quiet them down.