The Unvegan

When I began writing about my life as an unvegan, I made a solemn promise to myself that I would dedicate my blog simply to the reviewing of restaurants as they relate to my taste in foods. Any rants, complaints or praises I had about people or things in general would somehow make their way into my review and never grow into their own entries.

Today, I break that promise.

Today, the world has changed.

Today, a friend has brought to my attention a campaign by PETA to rebrand the word “fish” as “sea kittens.”

When I first heard this rebranding, I was outraged. I checked out their site, and to quote from it, “Nobody would hurt a sea kitten!” Well that’s just not true. A fish by any other name would taste just as sweet (or savory, or really any way you like your fish cooked).

The site goes on to tell cutesy little stories about fish and the sad things that happen to them. If “Finding Nemo” didn’t make children afraid to eat fish, nothing will. (Just like “Wall-E” hasn’t quelled my fear of evil robots taking over the world.)

Do these people even realize that cats eat fish? As my friend so thoughtfully pointed out, the cutesy little icons make it seem like the fish is being eaten by a cat. Or that the fish is wearing an outfit made of cat fur. Both likely go against the rebranding they are aiming for.

If they really wanted people to stop eating fish, they would rebrand them as “sea monsters.” No one would eat a sea monster, the name conjures feelings of fear, and people simply do not eat things they are afraid of. We don’t eat lions, tigers or bears (oh my!), so why would we eat sea monsters?

You know what animals are cuter than fish? Actual kittens! But that doesn’t stop people in Southeast Asia from eating them.

This ridiculous rebranding of fish is doomed to failure. It is amazing that some people even take it seriously. Could you imagine the perils of replacing the term fish with sea kittens? We would suddenly have deep sea sea kittens. Clownsea kittens. Cat sea kittens (which is really just plain redundant). What about fish that are only indigenous to ponds, lakes or oceans? Could we really have pond sea kittens? Would I one day look back to those Sunday afternoons when I went sea kittening with my grandfather?

So here’s to fish. May they ever be named as such. The edible little morsels of the sea.

What, did something else significant happen in the world today?