The Unvegan

Pardon the pun above, but it had to be done. Anyway, when I saw the Pizza Hut commercial for the Panormous on TV the other night, my friend and I just looked at each other and realized we had to have it. It also helped that it was being advertised for only $10! The next day, we set off in search of this mega-pizza.

Our search took us down to Manhattan beach, where we ordered our Panormous with pepperoni. Strangely, or conveniently, it turned out that the Panormous is really two pizzas, both the same size. This was fine by us, as it made it quite easy to make sure we both had the same amount of food. The only trouble is that I think Pizza Hut did this so they wouldn’t have to use as much cheese and sauce on those middle, crustless pieces that are usually borne from a rectangular pizza. Luckily, the Pizza Hut crust is so loaded with oil, it goes down just as smooth as the rest of the pie.

I found the pizza to be mostly dough, with a light layer of sauce and cheese. I would have preferred a bit more sauce and much more cheese. There were just enough pepperonis to satisfy me, but the pizza could have used a lot more. In one sitting, I managed to wolf down the entire eight pieces of my Panormous. I watched in sadness as my friend was only able to eat half of his, in spite of the fact that he didn’t even finish his crust. I suppose we can’t all be obnoxiously unhealthy eaters like me. Upon finishing my last slice, a fell into a deep food coma that lasted through the afternoon. I had many conversations with many people, yet I could hardly tell you what transpired in any of them. There are very few foods that have this incapacitating ability, and the Panormous is certainly one of them.