For some reason, Celine Dion gets a bad rap. Maybe it’s because she’s Canadian. Maybe it’s because her music gets stuck in your head. Maybe it’s because she sank the Titanic. Whatever the reason, she is definitely in good graces in my world.
I’m going to be up front with: until I started browsing the internet for meat news today, I had no idea who Liam Hemsworth was. But now, with the beauty of research, I can proudly proclaim him as an Unvegan Hero.
Remember that show called The OC? Me neither, but apparently it existed at some point and produced some famous people. One of these people was named Mischa Barton and while the majority of her career has disappeared since that show, she has recently reappeared, looking better than ever.
Well, the time is upon us. College football has finally arrived, and if you know me, you you know that the past few seasons have not treated me too well. To say that my dear Wolverines of the University of Michigan have been performing below expectations would be like saying Hitler may have had questionable morals. But Wolverine nation can smell change for the better.
While many were unsure whether to applaud or decry Lady Gaga’s meat dress, I took a stance and named her an unvegan hero. Sure, it was a waste of meat, but anyone that promotes meat is a friend of mine. But what happened to that dress? Was it eaten? Did it end up rotting away? Neither.
As a fellow member of the Chosen People, Natalie Portman has always been pretty special in the Jewish world. At some point in their lives, every Jewish male has had a thing for her. And I know it’s not just limited to members of the tribe. Yet, Jew or not, the day Natalie Portman converted to veganism something inside of me died.
In honor of baseball’s opening day, while former Giant Barry Bonds may be in the headlines for ingesting or injecting some improper substances, I take great faith in current Giant Tim Lincecum for ingesting the most proper substance of all: anything but vegetables.
Born in the great state of Michigan, the man called Alice Cooper already had my support. But on top of that, his music like “School’s Out” and “I’m Eighteen” really hit the spot during certain periods in my life. Now that I am basking in the meat-filled period of my life, Alice Cooper has done one more thing to earn my support.
It almost pains me to consider Sarah Palin as a hero of anything, yet for her stance on meat, she is most certainly an Unvegan Hero. Unless you’ve been living in a hole for the past two and a half years, you know that Sarah Palin is an avid hunter and meat eater. We’ve all heard the stories, but it wasn’t until a recent episode of Sarah Palin’s Alaska that the world got to see it for themselves.
On Monday, Bruce Willis appeared on Letterman wearing a meat hairpiece. It made him look like a deranged member of Devo, but was certainly a step up from any regular hairpiece. After watching the beginning of the video, I was almost ready to make Willis an Unvegan Hero, but that soon changed.