‘Heroes and Villains’
So the Olympics are over, but if they have taught us anything, we all know that Canada is a pretty sweet place. I may be partial to the country since I grew up an hour from the border and took advantage of the 19+ drinking age in Ontario. Or I may be partial to the country because I am half Canadian and am enamored by both curling and hockey. Whatever the reason, I’ve now discovered a new reason to love Canada and it is called “Body Break.”
Okay, so the Winter Olympics aren’t the most interesting sporting event in the world. I understand that, but let’s be honest: has anyone not watched any of the Olympics this year? If you haven’t, you are truly missing out. When else can you watch snowboarding, curling, and bobsledding? All these sports typically bore me, but once every four years, I enjoy their existence. Which brings me to Shaun White.
Eva Longoria-Parker busted onto the scene a few years ago with Desperate Housewives and back then she didn’t have that pesky “-Parker” attached to her name. Since then, though, she has managed to retain her beauty by keeping a steady diet of meat products.
Apparently in South America, there is no need for Viagra. According to Argentinian President Cristina Fernandez, all it takes is some porking…err…pork. The Cleveland Reader reports that, “…she spent a satisfying weekend with her husband after eating barbecued pork.”
Here’s an oldie, but a goodie. About a year and a half ago, Jessica Simpson was spotted wearing an amazing shirt. It read, “REAL GIRLS EAT MEAT” and is so true. Of course, Simpson isn’t exactly known for her knowledge of meat (anyone remember that “Chicken of the Sea” moment from a few years back?), but I won’t hold that against here. Besides, all she wanted to do was eat some animal, and she did.
As a lifelong Detroit Lions fan, come playoff time I really have very little allegiances. I do my best to root for former Michigan players on teams (Tom Brady, Chad Henne, Jake Long, Charles Woodson and Steve Breaston to name a few), which sometime results in those players playing against each other. Now, though, I may have a new reason to root for teams: How unvegan are they?
Perhaps it was worth hearing that terrible song, “Milkshake,” over and over again a few years ago. If only because it made the singer, Kelis, enough of a celebrity to draw the wrath of PETA. That’s right, PETA is once again trying to grab the headlines by attacking celebrities, but Kelis is one celebrity that has fought back.
No, I am not giving praise to prehistoric cavemen for being awesome unvegans. Instead, the heroes of today are actually my contemporaries. They are real, modern people who have to decided to merge what they believe the caveman life was with modernity. Basically, this means eating a whole lot of meat.
If you haven’t heard the news, PETA has issued an ad against fur, which features poorly Photoshopped pictures of Tyra Banks, Carrie Underwood, Oprah Winfrey and Michelle Obama. You may wonder how PETA can use the first lady for something like this and according to the White House, they cannot. But you know how PETA likes to do things…if they have to break the law to get their message out, they will. Well if PETA can use an unauthorized image of Michelle Obama in their ads, then I feel totally justified in making her an Unvegan Hero.
**Edit** Congrats to Boise State on their victory.
Since my football team wasn’t even bowl eligible, I’ve had a tough time figuring out who to root for in each bowl game this season. For tonight’s Fiesta Bowl, though, this will not be a problem. The game pits the Boise State Broncos against the TCU Horned Frogs. Although the concept of a horned frog is awesome, I will be cheering for Boise State because of their intense love of meat.