Anytime you leave a place, you want to end on a high note. In the Cook Islands, we were planning on doing the same. After dropping off our motor bike and heading back to our hotel, we had one more meal in us before catching out red-eye back to the homeland. Fortunately, there was a restaurant in walking distance that had been recommended to us by a local and by a couple of travelers. It was called Tumunu and boasted a seafood platter as its house special.

Although we had eaten our share of seafood, we hadn’t eaten a seafood platter and thought it sounded like a good idea. It was described on the menu as “A seafood feast that can include: Prawns, calamari, fish, sauteed scallops, seasoned shrimps, garlic prawn twists, Local marinated fish salas (Ika Mata), grilled NZ green lip mussels, oysters, Served with garden fresh salad and fruit[.]”

It sounded like a hell of a feast and seemed that the food would be fresh, considering the ambiguity of the wording (“that can include…). And after the long, island time wait, I had high expectations for the platter. When it arrived, however, all hopes of a delicious culinary finish to the week seemed dashed. The platter gets points for presentation, but otherwise it was all a sad showing. Nearly everything on the platter was battered and fried. We all know I like things fried, but that is no way to treat fresh seafood. Then, when I bit into the few things that were not fried, I realized that this surely was not fresh seafood. In a word, it was gross.

Even the fried stuff that I would have normally liked, such as shrimp/prawns just tasted heavy and wrong. Truly, there was little on the platter worth going back for a second bite. Only the Ika Mata seemed remotely fresh, but it came in a small cup that hardly counted. To make matters worse, our waitress kept coming by and saying things like, “Isn’t it delicious?” No, waitress, it isn’t delicious at all, but you are too friendly for me to say so.

It was a sad ending to a vacation full of amazing food, yet the queasy stomach it caused would not ruin my impression of the food of Rarotonga. Perhaps their non-seafood platter offerings are more on par with my other delicious meals on the island, but if you can’t get your house special right, you won’t be doing very good business.

Situated in the village of Tupapa on Rarotonga is an old colonial home. Built back in 1910, at one time, it was even the home of the British Consul. But all that changed in 2004, when a couple of restauranteurs decided this old colonial home needed to serve up some food. Tamarind House was born, and has been dealing in Pan-Asian culinary delights ever since. When we got ourselves seated, we quickly learned that Tamarind House was going to be a unique experience, and not simply because we were in an old colonial home.

For starters, the specials are not printed on a paper or scrawled on some blackboard at the entrance of the restaurant. Instead, the extensive list of specials are written on multiple whiteboards, which the waiters place in front of each table while they are deciding what to order. After that decision has been made, the whiteboard is whisked off to a needier table or a corner. Perhaps not the most efficient means of conveying specials, but effective nonetheless.

So effective, in fact, that I decided one of the specials had to be mine. It was a Balinese fish curry, with fresh coconut, tomatoes, ground spice and rice. It was definitely a smart choice, because this dish was a thing of beauty and amazing flavor. You know how menus often leave off vegetables that come with a dish? Well, this one did just that, but it also left off additional delicious ingredients, like bananas topped with coconut shavings and a chutney that I can only assume was tamarind. Combined, this made for one amazing meal. The fish tasted fresh and offered little of its own flavor, which was cool with me because the curry was delicious. It had a little kick to it, but nothing painfully spicy. Combined with chutney and the little tortilla that came on the plate, I had myself what could only be described as a Balinese fish taco (I smell a food truck idea!).

To top it all off, Tamarind House had a cheese plate on the regular menu that we ordered for dessert. This little guy consisted of three cheeses. One was blue, one was brie and the other seemed to be some sort of gouda. They weren’t amazing cheeses by any means, but they were definitely a delicious way to close out the meal and certainly better than your typical sweet dessert.

After years of serving as a home, I think Tamarind House has found itself in a much better state as a restaurant. I can’t speak for the authenticity of the Balinese food, but I can say that it was delicious no matter how you classify it.

Little-known fact: restaurants in Rarotonga generally close their lunch doors after 2:00 pm. This fact would have been great to know before the girlfriend and I rode our motor scooter around half of the island in search of a late lunch. Just when we had given up hope, I recalled a place called Roadhouse that we had passed many a time on our way from our hotel to Avarua. If they were closed, we were just going to have to snack ourselves away until dinner time. Fortunately, Roadhouse was open (from 11 am to 2 am every day) and sadly devoid of Patrick Swayze (RIP).

The chalkboard outside the place advertizes burgers for 5 bucks and fish and chips. And when we got inside and talked to the bartender, we found out that was the extent of the menu. You see, Roadhouse is pretty much a bar, and their food offerings are the type that someone would love after a few beers.

They did, however, offer two types of burgers – egg and cheese. Usually I love egg on my burger, but after destroying a load of eggs for breakfast, I needed a little break from chicken babies. I ordered the cheeseburger straight up, with a side of chips (fries), then took it to go to chow down on back at the hotel.

When I opened up my greasy bag, I found pretty much an entire salad on my burger. The bartender had told me everything that came on it, so I expected it to a certain extent, but didn’t realize my burger would be buried in veggies. Nonetheless, I had ordered the veggies for my starving girlfriend to eat.

Once the burger was cleared, I went to work on eating. The bun was a bit large-looking after clearing out the veggies, but the bread was awesome. I guess Rarotongan bread is pretty much amazing. The burger inside was decently tasty and actually a bit better than the one from Palace Takeaways, but definitely would have been more tasty after a couple of beers. Of course, as the only food available at that time of day, I couldn’t complain.

The only thing I could complain about were the chips. These guys were undercooked, undersalted and kind of soggy. Even a few beers wouldn’t have made these taste good. Perhaps the cook was just shocked by the crazy people that wanted to eat at 2:30 and the shock made him lose his deep-frying memory, but I would definitely order these chips extra crispy next time to ensure a better side.

For a bar, I don’t expect much from Roadhouse as far as food, but when you only make two things I would have hoped for a little better. Sure, the burger was alright, and I was asking a lot for food in the middle of the afternoon, but I couldn’t be entirely happy with a burger whose best feature is the bun.

In the windy town of Titikaveka, there is a restaurant called Little Polynesian, that also doubles as a hotel. Just like nearly every spot on Rarotonga, Little Polynesian offers amazing views of the ocean and numerous palm trees. While fine views are usually followed by only decent dining, Little Polynesian was supposed to be quite good, and we hoped the meal would be half as good as the view.

Just as we had done at Windjammer, a quick look at the menu made us realize that this was a meal for splitting. We ordered two dishes and an appetizer, then sit back, relaxed and soaked up our evening of Little Polynesian.

The appetizer was simply garlic bread, and Little Polynesian managed to keep it simply good. It started with some thick-as-Texas toast, but this bread was no plain white. It was dense, with a flavor and texture kind of similar to rye. But of course, the true flavor was in the buttery garlic upon the bread that was strong enough to keep pace with the heavy bread while not being overwhelming.

As for our main courses, the first was the Fillet of Beef & Garlic Prawns. This came with some stir-fried veggies, potato mash and merlot jus. The dish was pretty beautiful, and starting with the prawns, the flavor lived up to the beauty. As with the garlic bread, these had the perfect balance of garlic to prawn and were fresh as the day they were born (probably recently). The beef, though, was nothing amazing. Yeah, it was good, and the merlot jus gave it a nice, sweet kick, but overall the prawns were the king of this dish. Oh, and the mash was also delicious.

Yet, while the prawns were the king of that dish, our other dish was the king of Little Polynesian. This was the Seafood Gratin, which contained scallops, prawns and calimari, cooked in a white wine, butter, herb and havarti cheese sauce. It came with a side of coconut steamed rice and bread, to take care of the leftover sauce after all the seafood was gone. This seafood gratin may be the best dish that the Cook Islands have to offer. Every bite was incredible, and while the seafood was fresh and delicious, my shoe would have tasted amazing in that crack sauce.

Little Polynesian was an awesome meal, and mostly due to that delectable seafood gratin. If we hadn’t run out of that sauce eventually, I’m pretty I would have eaten it until my stomach burst. And I mean that in the most literal sense. It would have gotten ugly. As it was, this was definitely a worthwhile meal, even if it did mean driving the motor scooter down to windy Titikaveka.

One amazing thing about Rarotonga in the Cook Islands is the lack of chains. No Starbucks. No Subway. No McDonald’s. It’s enough to make a coffee-loving, fast food-devouring American feel dizzy. Fortunately, I don’t care for coffee and this also doesn’t mean Rarotonga doesn’t have fast food. Yes, even this slow-paced island that runs on even slower-paced “island time” is not without its fast food, but this fast food is local.

Our awesome bartender/sample-giver from the Cooks Lager Brewery, Wendy, recommended Palace Takeaways. Situated on the outskirts of Avarua, this little shack served burgers, fish and chips and not much else. Wendy told us they were the best burgers in town, so I had to find out for myself.

The burger options hovered between the 5-10 New Zealand Dollar range, which isn’t exactly cheap, but I suppose it isn’t too expensive either considering all the meat was imported from New Zealand. After a few moments of consideration, I ordered a cheeseburger with bacon and egg on top. Tiring of eating around vegetables, I finally gave in to my basest unvegan instincts and ordered without cole slaw, which came on all their burgers for some reason. Yes, I know it goes against my travel principles to order this was, but cole slaw is a bitch. I ordered a side of chips to join my burger and for those of you who don’t speak British, chips is just fancy word for fries.

Despite being called Palace Takeaways, there were some picnic tables around the shack with a view of Avatiu Harbor and we snagged one to eat at. The burger looked pretty snazzy for a fast food burger, with a great-looking bun and a whole heap of bacon. Unfortunately, the Maoris of Rarotonga seem to like their bacon streaky and this just isn’t my thing, so I spent a good portion of my eating time separating out the bacon that seemed edible to me. Sorry, I just like my bacon crisp. The egg was tasty, as always, but unlike the bacon was not runny at all. The white cheddar cheese was a great touch and then there was the heart and soul of the burger – the beef. While this beef was of a pretty good quality, it was a surprisingly small patty and I was surprised to find it a bit dry, especially considering that they had no qualms with greasy, fatty food. Nonetheless, it was a burger I could certainly get used to.

Finally, the chips were pretty awesome. Nicely fried without being well-done and well-salted. They made a great companion to the burger and offered a nice, salty alternative to the streaky bacon.

With time and a few more visits, I’m sure I could shape Palace Takeaways into a delicious burger joint to match my tastes. The locals sure love it and after one visit I can definitely see why.

For some reason, despite being on a tropical island, Bina was craving Italian food. Perhaps it had something to do with the fact that we had a 15% off coupon to Spaghetti House or perhaps it had something to do with taste buds. Whatever the case, I was happy to mix up our Rarotonga grubbing with something different, so we walked on over to Spaghetti House in Arorangi to see what sort of Italian the were serving.

The menu included a variety of pizzas (no pepperoni) and pastas, and to test how meaty they could get with their pasta I ordered their Spaghetti Bolognese. Spaghetti squash with salsa and queso blanco, a recipe from the CookingPlanIt is also a must try. The fresh freshly made salsa, and spagheti squash sprinkled with cilantro wrapped with queso blanco is mouth watering and an out of this world explosion of flavors. But first we started with an intense game or two of dots on the doodle paper tablecloth and a starter of garlic bread. The bread was thin like a pizza crust and had a nice crunch and give to it, but just couldn’t compare to Trader Jack’s.

When the pasta eventually arrived, the tablecloth was fully covered in doodles, including one frightening dinosaur with feathers. One would think the table was populated by children rather than twentysomethings, but one would be wrong. It was time for the doodling to stop and the eating to begin. At first the eating was a bit strange, as there was a near-overwhelming cilantro flavor. I like cilantro as much as the next guy, but I must say there is a limit to my intake, especially when it comes to a meat sauce. I was also surprised by the lack of any sort of cheese on the pasta, specifically parmesan, which was never offered and would have certainly improved the dish. Ultimately I got used to the cilantro and I found the meat sauce and the accompanying spaghetti noodles to be pretty good, but nothing more than that.

And had I stopped at the main course, I may have left Spaghetti House as a pretty happy camper with a pretty decent review, but I wanted more. I was greedy. I wanted dessert. So I ordered their fruit crumble, which was said to be prepared with seasonal fruit and vanilla ice cream. It took a surprisingly long time to prepare, even in slow-paced Rarotonga, and when it arrived, it looked quite delicious. I had only eaten amazing fruit so far and was excited to taste what Spaghetti House could do with such fruit. Unfortunately, such fruit did not exist here and as I ate my first bite of the crumble, I found myself with a mouthful of fruit cocktail. You know the kind, it comes in a can, jar or plastic lunch container and is never, ever fresh. To call this a disappointment would be grossly understating how I felt about the dessert. Look, I love me a fruit cocktail after a meal at home and I understand Rarotonga is an island with little natural resources that must import most of its meat, but it is certainly not lacking in fruit.

Damn you, Spaghetti House, we deserved better than fruit cocktail. I am not a snob and would gladly eat fruit cocktail every day, but you teased me with seasonal fruit and deception such as this cannot be allowed to continue. I guess I should have stopped at the bolognese, but the truth has set me free.

Riding around the single loop road of Rarotonga can make an unvegan man hungry. Fortunately, when the hunger arose we were in the town of Avana and saw a sign for a cafe called The Mooring. Situated on the sea about two seconds down a dirt road, The Mooring is little more than a shack, but a shack with great outdoor seating and a view of Avana Harbor. A man sitting at one of the tables who seemed to belong to the place told us that all of their fish had been swimming in the sea mere hours before, so it sounded like we had stumbled upon the right place.

The menu was written on two chalk boards, which gave the impression that the menu was only as consistent as what was pulled out of the ocean. I knew fish was the right way to go here and when I saw a fish offered with taro, I immediately jumped on it. I had heard taro was pretty big on the island, but it was my first sighting and I was willing to eat whatever came with it. What did come with it was something called Ika Mata. Ika Mata is a raw fish dish huge in the Cook Islands that seems to typically be tuna-based. I have no proof of this, except for the fact that I have never seen it otherwise, but don’t know enough about Cook Islands foods to make any sweeping claims.

Sweeping claims aside, shortly thereafter, my ika mata was brought out to me and looked nothing short of beautiful.

Served in a coconut bowl, the ika mata was almost too pretty to eat. But eat it I did and fell in love. This had to be the freshest fish I’d ever tasted and it was so good that it had no fishy taste or smell whatsoever. Instead, the flavor of coconut milk and some sort of a tart citrusy flavor. Combined, these flavors made a dish so unforgettable that even the tomatoes couldn’t spoil.

What’s more, there was still the delicious taro. The taro was cooked and chilled, but unflavored, which left it with its own unique and amazing flavor. It also kept company with another starchy root, which was decent, but could not compare to the taro.

And by the way, the FOB (fresh off the boat) crumbed mahi mahi with lime mayo sandwich that my girlfriend got was equally amazing. It was served on fresh Turkish bread that was better than any I can recall eating in Turkey. It just went to show that the ika mata I ended up eating was not some randomly good dish or the only dish that The Mooring did well. Nay, it seemed as though they could do nothing wrong.

In a world full of restaurant research, one of my favorite meals on the island or Rarotonga took no more research than a sign on the side of the road. The Mooring is a hidden gem and a prime example of what travel food should be like. A trip to Rarotonga without a stop at The Mooring would be a damn shame.

When we first arrived in the Cook Islands, we asked our airport driver where we should go to get a good meal. Hoping to get some sort of local insight, he recommended Trader Jack’s to us. His sentiments agreed with the brief food research we had done before coming to Rarotonga – Trader Jack’s was a must-eat. It took us until day two to get there, but when we got there we found it nicely situated on the shore of the Pacific with a beautiful view of the mountains in the background. And after half a day of hiking those mountains with Pa, it seemed to be just what the doctor ordered.

Trader Jack’s is not simply a restaurant, though. It also has a bar and a pizza parlor, so when we arrived at 5:30, we grabbed a drink at the bar while waiting for the restaurant section to open at 6:00.

When it opened, our beer waitress told us we should get in as quickly as we can to ensure we got a good table. Good tables here meant by the window, which wasn’t actually a window but an open, glassless space overlooking the ocean. Sure, you could see the ocean from other tables, but these were prime and we snagged the last one.

The menu at Trader Jack’s was chock-full of seafood, but after a sandwich of fresh tuna on Pa’s trek, I was eager to see how Trader Jack’s could handle chicken. I ordered the Roast Chicken, but we started out by sharing an appetizer of cheesy pizza bread.

And let me be the first to tell you that the pizza bread was amazing. The cheese on top was melted down and nicely browned and had a flavor similar to how I remember saganaki (that Greek cheese that restaurants like to set on fire). Perhaps this was only due to the taste of the browning, but whatever the reason, it was awesome. Under the cheese was a nice layer of herbs and garlic, which were good, but did not overpower the taste of the cheese. Finally, under that layer was delicious, crispy flatbread. It was a great start to the meal.

But the real king of the meal came with my main course. My roast chicken was served on mash, with creamed rukau, stuffing and herb gravy. Okay, so the menu lied a little bit and stuffing was nowhere to be seen, but they more than made up for it with the size of the chicken and the deliciousness of the mash. And the rukau, for those of you wondering, turned out to be spinach. I avoided this and went to work on the meat and potatoes.

As mentioned before, the chicken was huge, but it also had some great flavor from the gravy. The mash, though, was the highlight. I don’t know the last time I’ve eaten such creamy, buttery mashed potatoes, but I do know that before this meal it had been way too long.

Trader Jack’s was so good, in fact, that it was the only restaurant that merited a return visit during our all-too-short vacation. Sure, the real reason for the return was to meet up with some new friends, but if the food wasn’t good we certainly were ready to drop the friends like a bad habit and try a new place. Good thing this wasn’t the case. And all I will say from that return visit is that if you order pizza and don’t like mayonnaise, be sure to tell your server or you may end up with your weekly intake of condiments on your pizza. It will be pretty, but not so easy to scrape off. But I digress…Trader Jack’s is awesome.

Situated on the grounds of the Crown Beach Resort is a nice, large thatch-roofed building with a restaurant inside. The restaurant is called Windjammer and in the town of Arorangi on the island of Rarotonga, the thatch roof fits right in. As with much of the food I would encounter in Rarotonga (which relies heavily upon imported food from New Zealand), eating out doesn’t come cheaply, with main courses hanging out around 30 New Zealand Dollars. Rather than settling on one dish, the girlfriend and I decided to go splitsies on two.

The first was “Oven baked chicken breast filled with feta, basil and avocado mousse served with warmed roasted local pumpkin, fresh beetroot & asparagus finished with an olive and tomato tapenade.” While, I would typically be asking for vegetable substitutes, I kept the dish as is, which is my custom in foreign countries. When it arrived, I was thankful this was a dish I was splitting. The chicken was pretty small compared to its friends on the plate, but it sure was tasty. The chicken itself was perfectly juicy and feta/basil/avocado stuffing had a creamy texture not usually associated with feta and great taste. Fortunately, the taste was not at all overwhelming and maintained a good balance with the chicken. The vegetables were left to fend for themselves with my girlfriend.

The other dish was “Chefs [sic] special seafood risotto with a selection of fresh sauteed seafood, shell fish then scented with vanilla, citrus and fresh herbs & capped off with a homemade basil dressing.” And it was with this dish that I rapidly fell in love with the seafood of Rarotonga. It was so damn fresh, but it wasn’t just the freshness that did it for me. The sauce it was in was also pretty amazing. I always have a soft spot for vanilla, but would never think to use it with seafood (or any other non-dessert food at that), but Windjammer made it work like a charm. I think it could have used a little more salt to balance out the vanilla, but it is always better to be under-salted than over.

Windjammer was a great introduction to the delicious seafood of Rarotonga and one of the few times in my life where I preferred a dish from the sea over one from the land/air. For anyone staying in the town of Arorangi, Windjammer is not to be missed.

In the Cook Islands, 90% percent of the beer consumed is imported. Sure, most of it just comes from New Zealand, a mere three hours and International Date Line away by flight, but it is still shame when you consider the small island of Rarotonga has not one, but two breweries. One of these is the Cooks Lager Brewery and it is nothing like any brewery you’ve seen before. It resides in an old supermarket in the town of Avarua and has only existed for less than two years (replacing a defunct Cooks Lager brewing company that had shut down years before). Yet, in those two years, the five-man operation of Cooks Lager has begun to make its dent in the local brew scene.

While the brewery makes a lager by the same name, it also brews two other beers. One is their “Cheeky Darkie” (as one of the owners of the brewery told me, they are not PC) and the other is their Blonde. During my time on the island, the Blonde wasn’t available, but I did get to try the other two.

The original Cooks Lager is a delicious, light (in flavor), refreshing beer. For a simple lager, it has some good body and the brewing process leaves the beer just a bit cloudy to give it a texture similar to that of a wheat beer. The brewery is now starting to get this brew out to some bars and restaurants, but it can also be found in 750 ml plastic bottles in various stores around the island. It’s great for kicking back on the beach, and by beach I only mean the beaches of the Cook Islands, because without preservatives, this beer isn’t gonna be shipped anywhere in the near future.

The potentially offensive Darkie beer can only be found in those plastic bottles outside of the brewery, but is definitely worth trying. Not a dark like a stout or a porter, the Darkie is more of an amber ale and is a nice companion to the Lager. This beer is much more suited for mealtime than for sitting out on the beach, as it is more of a flavor beer than a refreshing beer, but is also pretty good for lounging around a cabana after a rough afternoon of snorkeling.

The Cooks Lager Brewery is certainly on its way up in Rarotonga and I hope the time comes soon that 90% of the beer consumed in the Cook Islands are local and the other 10% are from people who are simply unwilling to try something new and refreshing.