A couple days ago I wrote about the new KFC Double Down, a sandwich full of promise for unvegans. Well, I couldn’t wait to get my mouth around one, so as soon as I could, I took a ride to KFC to see if the sandwich would live up to its potential. I ordered one for $4.99 and opened my bag of sandwiched goodness with great expectations.

What I found was something a little scary. Dear lord, those chicken breasts were huge and greatly overpowered everything else in the sandwich. Even more frightening, though, was the bacon. If you can really call it bacon. This flabby, rubbery substance resembled ham a lot more than bacon and seemed to be a little bleached to give off the bacony vibe. The sauce and the cheese looked decent, so I hoped that these would give the sandwich what it needed as I took a bite.

But they didn’t. The first bite wasn’t all bad, as it was mostly the classic KFC fried chicken, but when I reached the bacon, I discovered it was just as bad as it looked. It was actually kind of painful to eat, but eat I did. And it wasn’t easy, whether in bread or not, this sandwich would have been tough to eat. Each bite seemed saltier and saltier until I was gasping for a beverage. The cheese slid all around and at times I couldn’t figure out where I should take my next bite. In the end, I finished the thing, but I didn’t feel good about it afterwards. Clearly I am no proponent of healthy foods and I eat a lot of things that my momma isn’t happy about, but when I finished the Double Down, I just kind of felt crummy. It wasn’t the caloric intake, because the 540 calories really isn’t a lot, but it just seemed poorly executed. In defense of this breadless sandwich medium, I don’t think these ingredients would have tasted good in together in any form.

I believe there is a bright future in the world of breadless sandwiches and this first attempt, while certainly a pioneer in the field, just wasn’t a success. But as they say, you can’t make an omelet without breaking eggs, and I look forward to a future where my steak sandwiches involve a bunch of tasty ingredients bookended by two nice slices of steak.

Today, KFC has changed the face of food as we know it. For too long, the sandwich has been dominated by some sort of grain, but no longer are sandwiches to be oppressed by two slices of bread. On this fine day of April 12th, 2010, the sandwich has been liberated and that liberator is KFC’s Double Down.

The Double Down is an ingenious creation consisting of bacon and cheese with a piece of fried chicken on each side. Best of all, they aren’t even trying to throw lettuce or tomatoes or any of those other vegetable sandwich killers in it. So has anyone had it? If you have, let me know, because I am certainly looking forward to the next time I drive by a KFC.

For weeks I have been hearing about the free grilled chicken at KFC on April 27th. I even wrote it down on my calendar to make sure I didn’t forget. I’ve never really been a fan of regular KFC, but the prospect of a place called Kentucky Fried Chicken making grilled chicken intrigued the hell out of me.

Online, it said the free chicken would only be one piece, but I figured it would be a good opportunity to re-acquaint myself with some of the older KFC options. I pulled up to the drive-thru window and asked the speakerbox if they were still giving away grilled chicken. The voice replied back that they were, but it was only one piece and apparently it would take another seven minutes to cook. This was already a bad sign…there’s a reason it’s called fast food. To go with my single piece of chicken, I ordered the KFC buffalo chicken snacker, without lettuce. I then pondered who thought it would be a good idea to just toss a piece of lettuce on that sandwich. It couldn’t possibly add anything to it and I’m sure it would have distracted from the actual taste of the chicken. Anyway, I also got a popcorn chicken snack basket, which came with potato wedges (also known as fries).

When my seven minutes of holding up the line had concluded, I collected my food and drove off. First, I opened up the box with the grilled chicken, only to see a they would have given me something a little bigger. I bit into it, only to taste the gooey chicken underneath the grilled skin. Gooey in this case is not a good thing. The flavoring was just ok, but the quality of the meat left a lot to be desired. I felt that it actually tasted less healthy than regular fried chicken. Whether it was healthier or not made no difference to me, because if I really wanted healthy food I wouldn’t have been at a KFC in the first place.

On the other hand, my other chicken dishes were great. The buffalo chicken snacker had a piece of chicken so big it couldn’t even fit within the bun boundaries. This was pure buffalo chicken uninhibited by any vegetables. The sauce was at a comfortable spice level that didn’t get close to burning my tongue, but certainly wasn’t mild. The popcorn chicken snack basket was a great surprise. The whole box was stuffed with those tasty little chicken pieces and wedges, making it well-worth the 1.99 price tag.

In the end, the fried chicken really redeemed KFC, where the grilled chicken failed me. Sometimes I think it’s just better to stick to what you know best.