The Unvegan

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Is there any meat in there?
Is there any meat in that mess?

A few years ago, Subway changed the name of the “Meatball” sub to the “Meatball Marinara.” I’m not sure why this particular change occurred. Maybe it was to placate healthy people who would be more attracted to the word “marinara.” I never felt this was a particularly bad thing, after all, rebranding to increase sales is a huge component of our capitalistic system.

That all changed when I went to the Subway at Pico and La Cienega. I ordered a Meatball Marinara sub on Italian herbs and cheese bread, with provolone and parmesan cheese. It seemed like such a great idea, until I started watching the man behind the counter make my sub.He started by fishing out a few meatballs, then doused my sandwich in marinara sauce as if there was some sort of fire. I asked to get my sub toasted in the hopes that some of the sauce would burn off. I was wrong. It was soggy, saucy, and more soggy.

When I did happen upon a meatball within my sandwich, I was filled with utter delight, but it was short-lived as almost every other bite was filled with an overwhelming mouthful of marinara sauce.