The Unvegan

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Taco Bell: Bacon Cheddar Gordita Crunch

The Gordita Crunch...of DOOM!
The Gordita Crunch…of DOOM!

In reading this article today, I knew something had to be done quickly to defend the good name of Taco Bell.

If you haven’t noticed yet, I am uncomfortably (and unhealthily) in love with the Cheesy Gordita Crunch, without lettuce. It represents all that is good in this world and I often find it difficult to push myself to eat anything else.

Recently, a friend alerted me to the newest Taco Bell creation, the Bacon Cheddar Gordita Crunch. The name alone is enough to make the weak queezy, but I simply could not believe that my world could be graced with genius! If bacon can improve donuts, why not the gordita?

The first chance I had, I went to Taco Bell and tried my new gordita, without lettuce. I took the first few bites of what I thought would be my new food staple and swallowed down in mild disappointment. I was eating something great, but nothing amazing. Topping the original gordita crunch was ambitious, and Taco Bell fell a little short. This is not to downplay the significantly delicious taste of the new gordita, for it is a great culinary adventure. This is only to say that the bar was too high and the new gordita was simply unable to grab the rung that the original had already snagged.

To be sure, this new gordita will stand strong with such creations as the Cheesey Double Beef Burrito and the Ranchero Chicken Taco, but it will never reach the upper echelon of Taco Bell delights. It is a place where angels sing in the clouds. Where vegetables dare not grow. Where unvegans rejoice in perfect harmony. Where the Cheesey Gordita Crunch stands alone.

With the Bacon Cheddar Gordita Crunch, I have learned that sometimes there really can be too much of a good thing, but that doesn’t make it a bad thing.