The Unvegan

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‘Cheesy Gordita Crunch’

Behold! A Speech

That does not make me hungry.

Last week I gave a speech at Toastmasters. It was about food. But not toast. Here is the transcript:

Right now it’s about lunchtime, but if you’re anything like me, you’re probably wondering what you’re going to eat for dinner. When looking for a good dinner, I have a set of criteria to help me determine whether the place is worth my while.

First – I don’t want the same old thing.
Second – I’m looking for something creative.
Third – I want meat.
Fourth – The price must be┬áright.
Fifth and finally – The meal should give me a good story.

So what restaurant fits that bill and should be your dinner tonight?

Taco Bell’s New Beefy 5-Layer Burrito

Cheese Goo!

I few months ago, one of the dirty old Taco Bells near me was knocked down. At first, I was upset, but considering the fact that this Taco Bell was only open ’til 11:00 pm (even on weekends!), it wasn’t a huge loss. Then, like a phoenix rising from the ashes, construction began on a new Taco Bell in the same place! For months I have waited with bated breath for the grand opening. Driving by it every day, there was no sign as to when it would open, other than the increasing amount of lights and paint. Finally, I passed the new Taco Bell last week and saw patrons inside! A grande opening indeed! I took this as a sign that I needed to stop in and test out their new Beefy 5-Layer Burrito.

Taco Bell’s New Black Jack Taco

Black is in?
Black is in?

I started seeing ads for Taco Bell’s new Black Jack taco last week and I knew I had to test it out. There is just something so intriguing about taco shells in different colors, like when they did the red Volcano Taco. As long as they don’t release some sort of awful green-shelled taco with organic vegetables, I will continue checking out these taco color varieties.

Taco Bell: Bacon Cheddar Gordita Crunch

The Gordita Crunch...of DOOM!
The Gordita Crunch…of DOOM!

In reading this article today, I knew something had to be done quickly to defend the good name of Taco Bell.

If you haven’t noticed yet, I am uncomfortably (and unhealthily) in love with the Cheesy Gordita Crunch, without lettuce. It represents all that is good in this world and I often find it difficult to push myself to eat anything else.

Recently, a friend alerted me to the newest Taco Bell creation, the Bacon Cheddar Gordita Crunch. The name alone is enough to make the weak queezy, but I simply could not believe that my world could be graced with genius! If bacon can improve donuts, why not the gordita?

Taco Bell

Behold! The Cheesy Gordita Crunch...and partner.
Behold! The Cheesy Gordita Crunch…and partner.

People look at Taco Bell in many different ways. Some worry about the meat quality. Some are willing to wait 30 minutes for it on their lunch break. Some think it is true Mexican food. Some refuse to eat it. Whatever can be said about Taco Bell, there is no denying that it is a late-night refuge for the hungry and/or intoxicated.

I am lucky enough to have a Taco Bell in LA that is open until 4 am. Every time I go, I leave with a story, so with these thoughts in mind, I set off for Taco Bell around 2 am.