In the aftermath of the botched terrorist attempt over Christmas, airports have beefed up security. This has made flying more inconvenient, which is fine because I would rather be inconvenienced and be safe than move fast through the lines and feel like I am in danger. When it comes to eating meat, though, this is more than just an inconvenience.

According to the Wall Street Journal, chefs routinely sneak cured meats from Europe and elsewhere into America, because for some reason they are illegal here. They are not bringing these meats in for distribution, but simply for learning materials. Kind of like the Japanese whalers who catch whales for research purposes and then eat them. These chefs attempt to duplicate the taste of these meats by legal means, but they must first sneak these meats through. Full-body scanners are making this increasingly difficult and soon we may have to eat crummy American cured meats.

When you can’t get a good salami, the terrorists have won.

(via WSJ)

If you haven’t heard the news, PETA has issued an ad against fur, which features poorly Photoshopped pictures of Tyra Banks, Carrie Underwood, Oprah Winfrey and Michelle Obama. You may wonder how PETA can use the first lady for something like this and according to the White House, they cannot. But you know how PETA likes to do things…if they have to break the law to get their message out, they will. Well if PETA can use an unauthorized image of Michelle Obama in their ads, then I feel totally justified in making her an Unvegan Hero.

First off, I’m pretty sure the Obamas eat meat. At the very least, I know our POTUS Barack does, as he has paid visits to some delicious burger joints in DC. Also, did you know that PETA is classified as a terrorist organization by the USDA? That’s kind of a big deal, and for our first lady to support a terrorist organization would be pretty remarkable. Terrorist fist bump notwithstanding.

Well, PETA has done their best to kiss ass to the White House, saying how “fabulous” our first lady is. I doubt that kind of empty flattery works on the wife of the most powerful man in the world.

So, for being “fabulous” and not supporting the terrorists of PETA, Michelle Obama, you are a true Unvegan Hero!

**Update: PETA is pulling their ad. One small victory for unvegans everywhere!**