State Fairs are often an afterthought. A relic of times past when most of us lived in rural areas and guessing the weight of a pumpkin was the best entertainment of the month. They offer variations on the same rides, foods and entertainment that you find at your local Memorial Day Carnival or County Fair and, I mean, how many people even go to those? But the Minnesota State Fair is so far from an afterthought that it seems to be on the minds of Minnesotans for the 50 weeks of the year in which it is not in operation. Plans are made, new foods are devised and longed after; then, just like that, it’s over again. This year, however, the Unvegan paid a visit to see how it would all stack up.

Swedish Meatball Smorgas – The Blue Barn

It’s not all about gluttony. Sometimes it’s just about doing something no one ever thought of. Like putting Swedish meatballs on a roll, pouring white gravy all over them and then topping them with lingonberry jam and dill pickles. I was smart enough to order without the pickles and it paid off in pure sweet, salty and savory deliciousness.

Mangonada Shave Ice – Minnesnowii Shave Ice

You wouldn’t think Minnesotans would be fans of shave ice since they live among it for so much of the year. Yet, the Mangonada is real and it is fascinating. Packed with mango syrup, drizzles of chamoy sauce, popping boba (for some inexplicably genius reason), spicy tajin powder and a tamarind straw (for some inexplicably strange reason). The straw was useless, but the rest of this was somehow light, refreshing, hearty and spicy at once. And with all that, it just somehow worked.

Giant Juicy Turkey Sandwich – Turkey To Go

Being a first timer, I couldn’t just go with new stuff. And, frankly, I wasn’t too excited about getting a turkey sandwich. But, my buddy told me it was well worth it and, well, it sure was. I added bacon and a sweet glaze to mine and it was unbelievably juicy for what’s generally the driest fowl of all. As I drove past many a wild turkey in the Northwoods, all I could think about was how juicy they could be in sandwich form.

Blu – Grain Belt

I love blueberries and I love beer. It makes sense that I would like a blueberry beer, right? Wrong. It seems to be that the special beers at the Minnesota State Fair are pretty much all sweet, but this took that sweetness way beyond balance and into juice territory. Good thing I had all kinds of savory and salty foods to counter that sweetness (and don’t worry, I still drank the whole damn thing).

Gizmo – Carl’s

The Gizmo is another classic, and yet it is churned out by pretty much the most nondescript cart in the whole fair. Sometimes you just know you’re good and it’s hard to go bad when you are an Italian roll filled with ground beef, Italian sausage, red sauce and a layer of melted mozzarella cheese to seal all of the goodness in.

Sweet Greek Cheese Puffs – Dino’s Gyros

Ricotta and Feta. Flaky phyllo dough. Powdered sugar. More than a drizzle of honey. I am a many who loves his sweet and salty combos and these Sweet Greek Cheese Puffs did more than satisfy that craving. It may have gotten a but too sweet toward the end when the honey congregated in the corner with the remaining puff, but these were a treat.

Zesty PB&J Sausage – Gass Station Grill

It doesn’t sound right. Nope, not at all. But if you’ve been paying attention to burger places lately, mixing peanut butter, jelly and some sort of spiciness is all the rage. It’s only natural that it made its way into a tube steak. While each bite may have been somewhat inconsistent, there is no doubt that this works. If they can get that peanut buttery and jelly-y goodness more evenly distributed, this sausage could take over the world.

Turducken Sausage – Giggles’ Campfire Grill

Not all sausages are created equal. Or is it something about the size of the sausage versus what you do with it? Regardless, the Turducken sausage didn’t just lose the battle of the sausages, it barely seemed to fight. It was too tightly packed, the grind seemed off and really all I could taste was the turkey, with maybe a touch of chicken. Perhaps in years past this may have flown, but in the world of the Zesty PB&J sausage you have to be oh so much better than this.

Passion Fruit Pilsner – Bent Paddle Brewing

Duluth is a cool city. And it sent a pretty cool beer down to the state fair. It’s not a sour per se, but does it’s best to harness the tartness of passion fruit and churns out a pretty unique pilsner that is not too sweet and not too sour. It’s not just right either, but it’s good enough to make the drinking enjoyable.

Bacon-Wrapped Pork Belly – The Hangar

You don’t go to the state fair looking to eat a balanced meal. But nowhere is that lack of balance more exemplified than in this pork on pork action on a stick. It was so unbelievably juicy, smokey and salty forcing the use of dozens of napkins lest your face runneth with juices that would later congeal into something resembling a wax museum. While this may be perfection in meat form, the critic in me did wish there was some sort of a sweet and acidic dipping sauce like apple cider vinaigrette or a cherry reduction to accompany this meaty concoction. Despite that, the universe seemed to pause in recognition of the beauty of each bite of this masterpiece.

Fried Cheese Curds – Everywhere

Some day I’d like to pull an Andrew Zimmern and try every cheese curd purveyor at the fair. Until that day, I am a satisfied man as long as the place knows to stick with the white variety of cheddar, to fry them just right amount of time to maintain the squeakiness and to only lightly batter them lest the batter overpower the cheese. It’s not the tallest order, but it’s not the easiest one to fulfill either. Plus, when you’re coming from Arizona all cheese curds are good cheese curds.

Whelp. That’s a wrap. The pilgrimage is complete. Now if only I can figure out a way to make this an annual thing…or at least get to Iowa somehow…

Colorado is definitely a beer state, and not just because Coors comes from the Rocky Mountain State. No, it is also home to New Belgium (of Fat Tire fame) and seemingly countless other micro and craft breweries. While in Breckenridge for a ski weekend, I decided I had to at least try one of these, and because it turned out to be the only one available at dinner, my choice happened to come from the creatively named Breckenridge Brewery. The brewery, by the way, is actually no longer in Breckenridge, having expanded and moved to Denver in 1992.

The only brew available was their Agave Wheat, and while I have been trying to avoid wheat beers, I still wanted this one to keep things local. It came bottled and when I poured it out it looked like your average wheat beer, but I suspected the agave nectar might give it a bit of a honey flavor.

If it did, my beer palette was definitely not refined enough to notice. Instead, I just felt myself drinking a very good wheat beer. While I usually relegate light and slightly sweet wheat beers like this to summer, I was impressed by how refreshing it tasted in the dead of winter. Yet, while satisfying, drinking this beer only made me realize how much I wanted to drink their other beers. I did not get the chance on this trip, but I hope the many beers of Colorado can one day make their way into my belly and blood stream. It may take a while, but Breckenridge Agave Wheat has assured me that it will be worth the journey. To get in contact with Brewskis Beverage >View more here<.

In the Cook Islands, 90% percent of the beer consumed is imported. Sure, most of it just comes from New Zealand, a mere three hours and International Date Line away by flight, but it is still shame when you consider the small island of Rarotonga has not one, but two breweries. One of these is the Cooks Lager Brewery and it is nothing like any brewery you’ve seen before. It resides in an old supermarket in the town of Avarua and has only existed for less than two years (replacing a defunct Cooks Lager brewing company that had shut down years before). Yet, in those two years, the five-man operation of Cooks Lager has begun to make its dent in the local brew scene.

While the brewery makes a lager by the same name, it also brews two other beers. One is their “Cheeky Darkie” (as one of the owners of the brewery told me, they are not PC) and the other is their Blonde. During my time on the island, the Blonde wasn’t available, but I did get to try the other two.

The original Cooks Lager is a delicious, light (in flavor), refreshing beer. For a simple lager, it has some good body and the brewing process leaves the beer just a bit cloudy to give it a texture similar to that of a wheat beer. The brewery is now starting to get this brew out to some bars and restaurants, but it can also be found in 750 ml plastic bottles in various stores around the island. It’s great for kicking back on the beach, and by beach I only mean the beaches of the Cook Islands, because without preservatives, this beer isn’t gonna be shipped anywhere in the near future.

The potentially offensive Darkie beer can only be found in those plastic bottles outside of the brewery, but is definitely worth trying. Not a dark like a stout or a porter, the Darkie is more of an amber ale and is a nice companion to the Lager. This beer is much more suited for mealtime than for sitting out on the beach, as it is more of a flavor beer than a refreshing beer, but is also pretty good for lounging around a cabana after a rough afternoon of snorkeling.

The Cooks Lager Brewery is certainly on its way up in Rarotonga and I hope the time comes soon that 90% of the beer consumed in the Cook Islands are local and the other 10% are from people who are simply unwilling to try something new and refreshing.

In my continuing quest to enjoy the delicious beer flavors of the Northwoods here in Southern California, I found myself staring at a large can of beer at Whole Foods. How I wound up in Whole Foods is a sad, sordid story, but I was intrigued by a beer out of the Cold Spring brewery in Minnesota called Honey Almond Weiss. Surely, this would be the closest I could get to Leinenkugel’s Honey Weiss, brewed in Minnesota’s neighbor, Wisconsin. Plus, it didn’t hurt that this beer can contained one entire quart of beer.

I poured it out into my massive Michigan mug and it filled it perfectly, with just the right amount of head at the top to give the beer some breathing room. Then I got to drinking and the first thing I noticed was that this was surely no Leinie’s. The beer was a much darker amber than Leinie’s, but I didn’t want to let the look decide for me. Upon first drink, I realized that this was a sweeter beer, more along the lines of a hefeweizen than I had wanted. Yet, for the deeper color, the feel of the beer was more along the lines of a root beer float (the root beer part) than your typical wheat beer.

It was an interesting mix, and as for the almond, I must say I really couldn’t taste it. I’m sure it was there, but even though I was looking out for it, I didn’t really get much of an almond vibe.

I must give the beer some points for potency, though, for by the time I reached the bottom of my mug I feeling pretty good.

So while I wouldn’t recommend this beer for any sort of aficionado, I do think it has its place for people looking for a beer similar to a hefeweizen, but hoping for something a little different.

But for me, as I continue my quest for happiness and beer, I don’t think I’ll be needing another quart of Cold Spring Honey Almond Weiss.

Ever notice that the Summer Solstice is never actually the hottest day of the year? You would think being the longest day would correspond with being the hottest, but you would be wrong. Those crazy hot days never seem to come around until July or August. But during some of those hot non-solstice days I found a beer called Summer Solstice, from the Anderson Valley Brewing Company. Could it make up for the misleading real Summer Solstice by being the hottest (by hottest I mean greatest, not literally hot because that would presumably taste terrible) beer of the year? I intended to find out.

Two things about the packaging of Summer Solstice instantly drew me in. The first was that the label of the six-pack described the beer as a Cerveza Crema. Tightly translated, that means Cream Ale. One of my favorite beers of all-time, Spotted Cow, also happens to be a cream ale. The second thing that convinced me to buy the beer was also on the label: bears with antlers. I love bears and I love antlers, so why wouldn’t I love a beer with both on the label? It also didn’t hurt that the bottle caps called Anderson Valley Brewing Company (based in Boonville, Mendocino County, California) a “Solar Powered Brewery.” Even the sun supports beer (or at least 40% of beer, as research has taught me 40% of the brewery is powered by solar panels)!

Finally, I got the beer home and tried it out. This was some smooth drinking. The first thing that came to mind when this beer hit the tongue was the texture. This was certainly one creamy ale, with a frothy texture that fit somewhere between beer and milk. Actually, consider what carbonated milk would taste like. Now picture that, but with a beer taste and not a terrible milk taste. Okay, I can’t really describe it, but it’s better than it sounds. Besides the texture, Summer Solstice also has a slightly sweet and spicy taste to it that could easily carry this summer seasonal through the autumn months.

The only downside of this beer is that it’s surprisingly heavy for a summer seasonal. Usually summer beers are light and refreshing and although Summer Solstice would be tasty on a beach, I would have a hard time tackling more than two of these in a sitting.

Yet, as a beer to unwind with after a long day outside, a long day working or a long day doing nothing, Summer Solstice definitely fits the bill.

Ordinarily, I avoid the stouts. Why, you ask? Well it’s not only because they come with ridiculous names like Karl Strauss 22nd Anniversary Vanilla Imperial Stout (you don’t exactly see bock or ambers like that). No, the real reason is that I consider beer a sort of refreshment. And being a refreshment, there should be something inherently refreshing about the beer. Sorry, stouts, you are not exactly refreshing, and it’s not just because some of your subtypes are Oatmeal, Chocolate and Coffee.

But refreshing or not, when I was offered some 22nd Anniversary Vanilla Imperial Stout, I had a hard time turning it down. Why? The vanilla. Like I said earlier, Chocolate Stout is a pretty common stout choice and I have no need for chocolate in my beer or otherwise. But vanilla is a completely different story. I claim Cream Soda as one of my favorite non-alcoholic beverages and the chance to drink that flavor combined with a high ABV percentage was too good to pass up. But first I had to get in the bottle.

You see, this beer was sealed and not just by a bottle cap. Enveloping the top of the bottle was about a whole candle’s worth of wax. And this was just some thin layer you could pop off, it was a thick encapsulation that literally had to be melted off. But once melted, the beer was actually pretty damn good. Again, I don’t love stout, but with a hint of vanilla, it turned into delicious. Plus, after all the work it took to open it, it had better taste good. The only trouble was that this wasn’t exactly your summer type of beer. I would have loved it in the winter, because it did kind of warm me up, but it wasn’t too warming.

So for a 22nd Anniversary, I think Karl Strauss did a damn good job. It took a beer that can sometimes be boring and can also sometimes be too heavy, added vanilla and turned it into something special. Not the best beer I’ve ever had, but maybe one of the best stouts.