When my cousin suggested grabbing breakfast at Satsuma in Uptown New Orleans, I was a little surprised. You see, “satsuma” is a Japanese word and it definitely doesn’t mean breakfast. But even if it did, Japan isn’t exactly known for great morning food (unless you like fermented beans). As it turned out, there was nothing Japanese about Satsuma at all, and it turned out to be a breakfast/brunch place that also served some fancy smoothies.

While a lot of the food inexplicably had vegetables, I found something that didn’t and still looked light enough that I would be ready for a hearty lunch. It was the Bacon, Egg & Cheese Sandwich and it came with all of the above served on a biscuit. Unfortunately the egg could only be served scrambled, to which I was kind of like, “What the fuck, I like over easy eggs.” But whatever.

Eventually, the sandwich came out and was, well, exactly what it should be. The bacon was Nueske’s, so it was obviously awesome and cooked to a good crisp. The egg was fine for a scrambled egg, and the cheddar and biscuit were just plain normal. It wasn’t a bad sandwich by any means, but I couldn’t help feeling that Satsuma wasn’t trying too hard on this thing. For someone hoping to get some of New Orleans’s finest cuisine, Satsuma didn’t exactly stack up. On the other hand, if I were a local just trying to grab something cheap and reliable, Satsuma might have been just what I was looking for.

One of the things New Orleans is known for is the Muffaletta. And perhaps no place is known more for their Muffaletta than Cochon Butcher in the Lower Garden District. The place is pretty much an unvegan paradise, evidenced by the fact that the word “cochon” quite literally means “pig” in French. It’s also an offshoot of the more famous Cochon (without the Butcher) that it shares a wall with.

Walking in, I was immediately put into a meat trance. Cured meats and sausages seemed to be everywhere and the menu itself was a daunting task. I knew I wanted the Muffaletta, but I thought it would be crazy to limit myself to just that. In the end, I went with the Mac ‘n’ Cheese and I stand by the decision despite the lack of meatiness. It was delicious, with a couple of cheeses inside and baked hard to get a bit of natural crispiness at the top.

As for the Muffaletta, it was said to have come with “house meats” and olive salad. I didn’t bother asking what the meats were because they were obviously going to be great, but I did bother to order without the olive salad. Unfortunately, Cochon Butcher turns out to be one of those pretentious places that is unwilling to change any orders, even if it just means removing something. So I was stuck with the olive salad and it also turned out I was stuck with some pickles that came with the sandwich. This did not bode well for the Muffaletta, which by the way, was served on a huge sesame bun.

In terms of the meat, the Muffaletta was pretty awesome, carrying a range of cured tastes. And there was a nice bonus of perfectly melted provolone to go along with it. On the other hand, the olive salad (which was really more of an olive tapenade), was kind of brutal on the sandwich. Olives are simply not good and they brought the sandwich down with them. Without them the Muffaletta would have been amazing, but with them it was, well, meh.

I know I should respect a restaurant for wanting their food to come out the way it was conceived, but at Cochon Butcher I guess I would have been better off ordering something that didn’t include some crappy ingredient. It’s a shame too, because there is no excuse for someone with a meat blog to leave a place like Cochon Butcher feeling disappointed.

New Orleans is, without a doubt, a city that defies the rest of the United States. From the French influence to the third world-esque devastation of Hurricane Katrina to the fact that women are willing to take their tops off for beads (okay maybe that one’s not so different), it is unquestionably a unique city. Yet, as a first time visitor with a meat blog, I was far more interested in the culinary aspects of NOLA than anything else, beginning with The Ruby Slipper Cafe.

Based on the line out the door when we arrived for brunch, The Ruby Slipper on Magazine Street seemed to be almost as famous as its namesake, but we braved the wait by grabbing a drink down the street and then took our seats. The menu was full-on Southern fare meets France, which I guess is to be expected in New Orleans. And in a rare twist, the wife and I split two dishes.

The first was the Corned Beef Bennie (pictured way up north), which is just a cutesy way to say Corned Beef Benedict. This started with a buttermilk biscuit base, topped with corned beef hash, horseradish cream, poached eggs and hollandaise. It was every bit as delicious as that sounds and the worst thing I can say about it is how sad I was to have to split it.

The second dish was the “Bacon & Egg” Sliders (their quotation marks, not mine), which was two mini burgers, each topped with their own stuff. The wife took the burger topped with a fried egg, roasted red pepper coulis (which I can only assume is terrible), pickled red onion and further pickled green tomato. I cannot speak for this mini burger, but like the coulis, I can only assume bad things. My half, however, was topped with pig-candy bacon and cheddar. Simple and effective. Unfortunately, as much as I enjoyed the salty and sweet, all I could think about was eating more of that bennie.

The Ruby Slipper Cafe was a good first foray into the cuisine of NOLA and I definitely felt much better-prepared to take on the rest of the town after a hearty brunch such as this.