For most, Burger Month ended on May 31st, but I have never claimed to be like most and feel like every month is Burger Month. This is why, despite being the first week of June, I’ve opted to tackle a burger. This particular burger comes from a little place in Beverly Hills called The Hill. By day and early night, it is a restaurant, but when night comes around is a bar in no uncertain terms.

Despite the Beverly Hills address, the menu was packed with good old fashioned American food at reasonable prices. One burger, though, was anything but old fashioned. Called the Surf and Turf Burger, this thing was topped with lobster tail, garlic aioli and asparagus. Then, like many other burgers, it also came with lettuce, tomato and onion. I ordered without the asparagus and the other veggies, then picked fries out for my side.

Soon enough, the burger arrived and not only did I find it packed with veggies (other than asparagus), I also found a frightening pickle spear threatening my entire meal. A couple of fries had already succumbed to its juices, along with a bit of bun, but I removed the pickle from the scene before any more damage could be done. With my unwelcome guests evicted, I got a good look at the burger and found it to be a sort of clash of burger cultures. The lobster and garlic aioli were certainly from the gourmet side of the burger world, while the bun and the patty were more along the lines of a diner or sports bar.

And in this case, looks were right on the money. It made for an interesting juxtaposition of flavors and textures that ended up falling a bit short of its potential. Surf and Turf is something I consider near the epitome of fancy, but this burger only kind attempted to reach that standard.

I am all about diner burgers and I am all about gourmet burgers, but this one ended up in a strange middle ground. I applaud The Hill for not turning their burgers into something pretentious, yet I left more happy about trying their burger than excited about the taste and any possibility of a return. The pickle spear and other assorted vegetables didn’t help them out either.

EDIT: This one’s gone, but you can still find Roy’s and its fancy Hawaiian near you. Depending on where you live, of course.

A steak is not an everyday meal. And even rarer than a steak is a little something called surf and turf. It is only eaten on the rarest and most special of occasions. Or when you have a gift card to Roy’s. Roy’s is a Hawaiian Fusion restaurant that I once discovered in the desert of Scottsdale, but that was long before unvegan came to be. This time, I went to the Roy’s in downtown LA with my lovely girlfriend to pay a visit to my friends, Surf and Turf.

Roy’s surf and turf on this evening was a petite filet and two lobster tails. Accompanying these were crab oscar, asparagus and their poblano mash. Only a fraction of these sounded good to me, namely the crab. I asked if there was anything mashed that didn’t include peppers and was told there were some regular mashed potatoes I could sub in. I was also told I could replace the asparagus, but before I could choose, the girlfriend said she would take them off my hands, so we asked to have them on her plate. I ordered my steak medium rare and then waited for the glory.

When my dish arrived, I was surprised to find those green asparaguses (asparagi?) staring back at me. While I can’t understand why someone would want to eat a food that makes urine smell even worse than usual, I really can’t handle being lied to about them being on someone else’s plate. I scraped these pee-tainters onto my girlfriend’s plate and a few minutes later she was brought additional asparagus on the side for a double dose of terrible-smelling piss.

With these disposed of, I moved onto the real food and what I found was beautiful. The steak, although small, was delicious. Seafood may be their specialty, but they did just fine by that petite filet. Of course, I would have liked it a little bigger, but I can’t complain when it’s called petite. The lobster tails were especially tasty and came with a spiced butter sauce to make them even tastier. This showed me why their seafood made them so proud. The crab oscar was a nice addition, although so miniscule that I probably wouldn’t have missed it if it wasn’t there. Finally, there was my substitute mash. It was mashed up good and well, but could have used a little more salt or flavoring to kick it up a notch in taste.

Yet, sides do not make a meal, and the main surf and turf of this meal were quite delicious. I’m pretty sure I missed the whole “Hawaiian Fusion” aspect of the menu, but the surf and turf treated me just fine.