The Unvegan

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Theodore Gray: Unvegan Hero

We all know the unparalelled benefits of eating meat, but Theodore Gray has developed yet another; a Thermal Lance. According to his article on the, a thermal lance “is used to cut up scrap metal and rescue people from collapsed buildings.”

Settling on prosciutto as the most energy-efficient meat, Gray created a meat torch capable of cutting through metal, when oxygen is fed through it. In doing so he unleashed the full power of meat. I’m pretty sure this means that people should always have meat around, in case of emergency.

In the video, he also makes an attempt at a vegetarian lance. Before he even began, I knew this attempt was doomed to failure. As he began feeding oxygen through the breadsticks and cucumber, the vegetarian lance combusted far too rapidly and was unable to do any real damage. In food, just as in energy creation, the unvegan option wins out.

For recognizing a previously untapped use of meat and demonstrating how vegetables just don’t cut it, Theodore Gray, you are a true Unvegan Hero!

(via Popular Science)