In the world of DC burgers, it seems that one name stands above the rest: Ray’s Hell Burger. Originally conceived as a spot to bank on the discarded scraps from Ray’s the Steaks, Ray’s Hell Burger is on its third iteration, going by the name of Ray’s to the Third. It’s technically in Rosslyn/Arlington, Virginia and luckily so was I.

So if you were about to play in a basketball tournament the following day, which of the glorious burgers do you think you would choose? I went with the Brimstone Burger, which is probably the unlikeliest pre-basketball burger to be conceived. It was topped with “purgatory” chili, “Vermont” cheddar, “red raw” onions and “charred” jalapenos. I went with medium rare and of course without the onions. I also put in an order for a side of Macaroni and Cheese.

The burger came out looking like…well…not a burger. The patty was nowhere to be found and this was a surprise because I ordered the 10 oz. Big Devil size. With a little probing, I found it was hidden under the pile of chili and it was a perfect medium rare. There was no way I could even attempt to eat it with my hands, so I went to town on it with a fork and knife. It was, well, damn good (pun intended). The chili was a beautiful mix of beef and beans, the cheddar was as it should be and the jalapenos gave the thing a slight kick. Unquestionably it was a good burger, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that I ordered wrong. Considering Ray’s claim to fame was the use of steak trimmings for burgers, it might not have been the best idea to cover it in chili. I’m not complaining because it great, yet the nagging suspicion wouldn’t go away.

As for the mac and cheese, it was just fine. But that’s it. Cheesy, macaroni-y, but nothing above and beyond regular mac and cheese.

Ray’s to the Third was pretty great. Even though I might not have ordered the best burger, it was probably the best chili burger I’ve ever had. The mac and cheese could use a little work, but as long as they keep churning out burgers like mine I don’t think the sides are really a concern.

Out in Arlington, Virginia, a friend brought us to a restaurant called Lost Dog Cafe. Knowing quite literally nothing about the place beforehand, I was happy to see that it not only had a huge selection of beers, but also a vast selection of sandwiches and pizzas. And I do mean huge. The sandwich list had 53 options, and that doesn’t include the “Create Your Own Sandwich” section. Not only that, these were some pretty creative sandwiches and not just your simple pastrami and turkey. After a long deliberation and just a quick peak at the pizza menu, I settled upon a sandwich that I hoped would be worthy of an unvegan like myself.

It was simply named The Bird, and was a toasted sub roll loaded with garlic chicken, tomato sauce, then topped with melted parmesan and mozzarella cheese. I also got myself a side of their Italian fries (oven-baked waffle fries with some seasoning). That’s right, I have a weakness for waffle fries and will almost always order them any time they are available.

Pretty quickly, my bird flew out to greet me and looked beautiful. It actually looked like a lasagna inside bread more than a sub sandwich, but fortunately I could still pick it up and eat it. Well sort of. The juices had already seeped through the back end of the weak sub bread, cutting the sandwich in two, but I would not let this force me into a knife and fork. I dug in with hands only and came face-to-face with a beautiful mix of chicken, sauce and cheese. The chicken breast had been cut into small pieces and was juicy and easy to take down.

The oven-baked waffle fries were quite different from the usual waffle fry, but still damn delicious. The seasoning wasn’t very strong at all and these guys needed some ketchup, but that was just fine by me.

Having destroyed The Bird and fries, I was a full man, and happy. Lost Dog Cafe served me well and I could go back another 52 times without getting the same sandwich twice. But if I could offer any sort of advice, it would be to upgrade that sub bread. While it tasted good, it was just not up to snuff as far as containing the juicy delights within.