While there may be 120 Pizza Factories in five different states, the original Pizza Factory has humble roots in the town of Oakhurst, just outside of Yosemite National Park. And after a long day of staring at and walking through giant sequoias, very little sounds better than some greasy pizza. I hoped Pizza Factory would be able to deliver said pizza. Plus, with a tagline like “We Toss ’em, They’re Awesome” it’s hard to go wrong.

We ordered a large to split with 3 people (one of whom swore to only eat one because she was eating a dastardly salad as well) and got pepperoni as our topping. Then we took a seat out side in their sukkah to wait for our pizza to be ready.

When ready, the beautiful pizza looked almost too good to eat. Almost. Dripping with grease and topped with loads of pepperoni, I pulled off a slice. And what I found was delicious. Purely delicious. The crust was the perfect thickness and had the best texture for a round pizza like this, and did I mention the loads of pepperoni? Loads! So much so that my dad was pulling them off because he couldn’t handle them. I had no trouble handling them, though. The only problem, and it pains me to say this, was that there actually was too much grease. I don’t mind a ton of grease on my pizza, but when there is so much that it fills the whole pan with oil and makes the bottom of the crust soggy, it’s a problem. Not because of the grease, but because nobody wants a soggy pizza.

So for the first couple slices the pizza was grand, but as the grease began to pool and soak in the pizza began to deteriorate. It didn’t ruin the experience, but certainly didn’t help.

Opened in 1927 at the center of the Yosemite Valley in Yosemite National Park, the Ahwahnee Hotel is a national park staple. The room prices are outrageous, but whether you are staying there or not, the place is certainly worth a visit for historical perspective of the park. Plus, for anyone in need of a good meal, the Ahwahnee has a bit of dining room. The lunch prices are a bit much, but nothing compared to the prices for dinner, so before setting out on an afternoon trek from the valley floor, we sat down to a meal at the Ahwahnee.

And once again, I found myself compelled towards a burger. This is not to say there weren’t other perfectly good-looking unvegan options like the Herb Focaccia Club, but when I asked the waitress what she recommended, The Ahwahnee Burger was the first thing that popped into her head. The burger was described on the menu as “½ pound Hand-Shaped Brandt Farms All Natural Beef, French Roll, Fries, Ahwahnee Amber Ale Ketchup.” It also could be upgraded to include cheese. Never one to go cheeseless on my burger, I ordered point Reyes Blue Cheese and got my burger cooked medium. It would have ordinarily come with lettuce, onions and tomatoes on the side, but I told the waitress not to waste them on me.

What came out gave me quite a fright at first. Sitting precariously close to the burger was a stack of grimy, bloodthirsty pickles. They and their juices were out to spoil my bun, but fortunately gravity and weak centrifugal forces prevented them from attacking my meal before I could scrape them from my sight.

With the crisis averted, I took a look at my real food and liked what I saw. The blue cheese was chunky and melty, while the burger seemed to fit perfectly into its bun, asking me to eat it.

And eat I did. The burger never stood a chance as I devoured it. The burger was not in need of ketchup, but the house-made Ahwahnee Ale ketchup they brought out for me was far more than a flavor coverer. This ketchup added a bit of a kick and good flavor to an already good burger, plus made for a great fry-dipping sauce. Not as thick as normal ketchup, this stuff had some local ale in it that made it very unique and would have been a nice addition to the letdown sauces of the night before.

The biggest letdown of the burger was that it was brown all the way through. Hardly the medium I had ordered, it fortunately remained juicy and tasty enough for me to remain happy. Plus, the blue cheese and ketchup were going to be the best part even if the burger had been cooked correctly.

For a tasty meal in the middle of the Yosemite Valley, the Ahwahnee is a great stop. They make a pretty good burger and some damn good ketchup. Just make sure they hold the pickles.

EDIT: What once was Todd’s is now Alice’s. No idea if it’s the same or different. Hopefully different.

In the small town of Oakhurst, just miles from Yosemite National Park, there is but one BBQ joint, and it goes by the name of Todd’s Cookhouse Bar-B-Que. Todd’s is one of your old-fashioned order at the counter type of BBQ places and the menu is quite staggering for being up in a small town of the Sierra Nevada. From sandwiches to wings to jambalaya, everything looked great and well-priced. But would it taste great?

I settled on the Chopped Beef Brisket Sandwich, which was fit for an unvegan because it was described as “Just meat n’ sauce.” It came with a side and some fries. For my side I went with chili, then headed over to the sauce counter to load up on some dippings. What I found seemed to be disappointing. Their traditional BBQ sauce looked like a glorified ketchup, while their hickory smoked BBQ sauce looked like real sauce, but there was barely enough to fill up one little sauce cup. We asked the kitchen if there was any out back and they sadly responded, “No.”

The meal arrived shortly after, and armed with just short of two BBQ sauces, I dug in. The brisket sandwich was totally devoid of vegetables, as advertised, and I poured a little of both sauces on to give it a go. I found that the hickory sauce was better than the traditional, but not enough to hold its own in a BBQ sauce competition. A better sauce really would have made the sandwich great, but instead it was stuck being just decent. The chili was an interesting story as well, because aside from having a little kick and some meat here and there, it was basically baked beans. Good baked beans, mind you, but still not much more than that. Finally, the fries were quite delicious. In fact, the traditional BBQ sauce made for great fry-dipping because it was so much like ketchup. Look, with sauces like this you enjoy them any way you can.

The highlight of the meal, however, was the dessert. At the end of it all, we got a Bread Pudding for the table. Because I only wanted one bite, I didn’t get a picture, and that proved to be a mistake. This delectable dessert just may have been the best bread pudding I’ve ever had. Hands down.

But was it enough to make up for the lack of delicious BBQ sauce and twisted baked beans? Not quite. I’m a sauce man, and when I get BBQ I’m expecting some tasty sauce. Unfortunately Todd’s didn’t get theirs quite right, but as long as they remain the only BBQ joint in Oakhurst Todd’s will be worth a visit for anyone craving brisket, ribs or pulled pork.

Up near Yosemite National Park is a place called Bass Lake. Bass Lake has itself a little village, and this village is dominated by a huge lodge called The Pines Resort. Inside this resort is a fancy restaurant called Ducey’s on the Lake. We wanted no part of this, so we found Ducey’s Bar and Grill, with a swanky patio and a much more reasonable and fun menu. We grabbed a table outside and sorted out what to eat. I had sworn a couple days off of burgers after tackling a couple bad ones in the last couple days, but there was a burger on this menu calling out the unvegan name and I couldn’t resist.

The burger was called the Bad Dam Burger and although the name evokes images of a leaky beaver home, it contains two cheeses, bacon and the kicker: Italian sausage. Yes, Italian sausage on a burger, making it a triple-meat burger. And wrapped around this burger was a honey bun. Of course, it came with the tomatoes, lettuce and onions that no unvegan should ever have on a burger, and I ordered mine without. Finally, it included fries.

When my burger arrived, I was in for a nasty surprise (see above). That’s right, loaded with all the veggies I refuse to ingest. The waitress walked by and noticed I was picking out chunks of lettuce from my cheese and realized that the kitchen had made a mistake. She offered to take it back and get me a real burger and I did not refuse. After a few more minutes I was back in business with a true meal.

I took my first bite and was met with a ton of different flavors. From cheese to beef to bacon to sausage to bun, my mouth was in for a ride. But it was not a perfect ride. The bacon, cheese, sausage and bun were truly delightful. In fact, the sausage was like the size of an entire patty and added some great flavor. The highlight of these flavors, though, was not the meat at all. It was actually the honey bun, which added just the right amount of sweetness to such a savory meal. Th biggest disappointment, however, was the beef patty. This guy was dry, overcooked and totally lacking in flavor. In fact, the burger probably would have been better as an Italian sausage sandwich with those cheeses, bacon and bun.

So I give kudos to Ducey’s for thinking outside the typical burger toppings by throwing in a sausage and enclosing it all in some sweet honey, but sadly a burger cannot truly be great without a good patty as a base. Ducey’s failed at that and will thus be relegated to the land of good ideas and unfortunate execution.

And oh yeah, the fries were pretty good, but not good enough to salvage that beef patty.