State Fairs are often an afterthought. A relic of times past when most of us lived in rural areas and guessing the weight of a pumpkin was the best entertainment of the month. They offer variations on the same rides, foods and entertainment that you find at your local Memorial Day Carnival or County Fair and, I mean, how many people even go to those? But the Minnesota State Fair is so far from an afterthought that it seems to be on the minds of Minnesotans for the 50 weeks of the year in which it is not in operation. Plans are made, new foods are devised and longed after; then, just like that, it’s over again. This year, however, the Unvegan paid a visit to see how it would all stack up.

Swedish Meatball Smorgas – The Blue Barn

It’s not all about gluttony. Sometimes it’s just about doing something no one ever thought of. Like putting Swedish meatballs on a roll, pouring white gravy all over them and then topping them with lingonberry jam and dill pickles. I was smart enough to order without the pickles and it paid off in pure sweet, salty and savory deliciousness.

Mangonada Shave Ice – Minnesnowii Shave Ice

You wouldn’t think Minnesotans would be fans of shave ice since they live among it for so much of the year. Yet, the Mangonada is real and it is fascinating. Packed with mango syrup, drizzles of chamoy sauce, popping boba (for some inexplicably genius reason), spicy tajin powder and a tamarind straw (for some inexplicably strange reason). The straw was useless, but the rest of this was somehow light, refreshing, hearty and spicy at once. And with all that, it just somehow worked.

Giant Juicy Turkey Sandwich – Turkey To Go

Being a first timer, I couldn’t just go with new stuff. And, frankly, I wasn’t too excited about getting a turkey sandwich. But, my buddy told me it was well worth it and, well, it sure was. I added bacon and a sweet glaze to mine and it was unbelievably juicy for what’s generally the driest fowl of all. As I drove past many a wild turkey in the Northwoods, all I could think about was how juicy they could be in sandwich form.

Blu – Grain Belt

I love blueberries and I love beer. It makes sense that I would like a blueberry beer, right? Wrong. It seems to be that the special beers at the Minnesota State Fair are pretty much all sweet, but this took that sweetness way beyond balance and into juice territory. Good thing I had all kinds of savory and salty foods to counter that sweetness (and don’t worry, I still drank the whole damn thing).

Gizmo – Carl’s

The Gizmo is another classic, and yet it is churned out by pretty much the most nondescript cart in the whole fair. Sometimes you just know you’re good and it’s hard to go bad when you are an Italian roll filled with ground beef, Italian sausage, red sauce and a layer of melted mozzarella cheese to seal all of the goodness in.

Sweet Greek Cheese Puffs – Dino’s Gyros

Ricotta and Feta. Flaky phyllo dough. Powdered sugar. More than a drizzle of honey. I am a many who loves his sweet and salty combos and these Sweet Greek Cheese Puffs did more than satisfy that craving. It may have gotten a but too sweet toward the end when the honey congregated in the corner with the remaining puff, but these were a treat.

Zesty PB&J Sausage – Gass Station Grill

It doesn’t sound right. Nope, not at all. But if you’ve been paying attention to burger places lately, mixing peanut butter, jelly and some sort of spiciness is all the rage. It’s only natural that it made its way into a tube steak. While each bite may have been somewhat inconsistent, there is no doubt that this works. If they can get that peanut buttery and jelly-y goodness more evenly distributed, this sausage could take over the world.

Turducken Sausage – Giggles’ Campfire Grill

Not all sausages are created equal. Or is it something about the size of the sausage versus what you do with it? Regardless, the Turducken sausage didn’t just lose the battle of the sausages, it barely seemed to fight. It was too tightly packed, the grind seemed off and really all I could taste was the turkey, with maybe a touch of chicken. Perhaps in years past this may have flown, but in the world of the Zesty PB&J sausage you have to be oh so much better than this.

Passion Fruit Pilsner – Bent Paddle Brewing

Duluth is a cool city. And it sent a pretty cool beer down to the state fair. It’s not a sour per se, but does it’s best to harness the tartness of passion fruit and churns out a pretty unique pilsner that is not too sweet and not too sour. It’s not just right either, but it’s good enough to make the drinking enjoyable.

Bacon-Wrapped Pork Belly – The Hangar

You don’t go to the state fair looking to eat a balanced meal. But nowhere is that lack of balance more exemplified than in this pork on pork action on a stick. It was so unbelievably juicy, smokey and salty forcing the use of dozens of napkins lest your face runneth with juices that would later congeal into something resembling a wax museum. While this may be perfection in meat form, the critic in me did wish there was some sort of a sweet and acidic dipping sauce like apple cider vinaigrette or a cherry reduction to accompany this meaty concoction. Despite that, the universe seemed to pause in recognition of the beauty of each bite of this masterpiece.

Fried Cheese Curds – Everywhere

Some day I’d like to pull an Andrew Zimmern and try every cheese curd purveyor at the fair. Until that day, I am a satisfied man as long as the place knows to stick with the white variety of cheddar, to fry them just right amount of time to maintain the squeakiness and to only lightly batter them lest the batter overpower the cheese. It’s not the tallest order, but it’s not the easiest one to fulfill either. Plus, when you’re coming from Arizona all cheese curds are good cheese curds.

Whelp. That’s a wrap. The pilgrimage is complete. Now if only I can figure out a way to make this an annual thing…or at least get to Iowa somehow…

There is no denying that much of my heart belongs in the state of Wisconsin, where I spent many summers of my life. So when Michigan loses a football game to Wisconsin, I may hate it, but I’m also weirdly more okay with it than I am with losing to just about any other team. But what does this have to do with food? Well, Wisconsin produced a fast food place called Culver’s, which is actually in Phoenix. So afters years of not being in Wisconsin, I revisited the Scottsdale location of Culver’s to see if it could bring me back to my days in Wisconsin.

I ordered up a Double Cheddar Butterburger with Bacon because, I mean, obviously. And what’s really cool about Culver’s is that they don’t add any other ingredients unless requested, so my burger was literally just bacon and cheddar. On top of that,  instead of some crappy typical fries or whatever for the side, I went with Wisconsin Cheese Curds.

The burger was a thing of fast food beauty. The cheese had been reasonably melted and the patties were cooked in the ideal fast food way, with some crispiness around the edges and a slightly chewy interior. The bun was also nice and soft, doing a great job of handling contents. Probably the only thing that seemed a little subpar was the bacon, which was just whatevsies.

As for the cheese curds, they were a little overly breaded for my taste. Full disclosure, I prefer my cheese curds naked and unfried, so I’m always a little undersatisfied with fried curds, but at least if you’re going to do it I prefer a light breading and these weren’t light. Nonetheless, they were plenty squeaky and I mean, beggars can’t really be choosers when you’re living in Arizona.

In the end, Culver’s brings a Midwestern flair to fast food, which is certainly a good thing, but it’s still inhibited to a certain degree by being fast food. If they can figure out how to work fresh cheese curds into their supply chain, though, the game would change forever.

No trip to Canada is complete without at least one stop for poutine. Yes, even outside of the French side of Canada. The internet told me that Poutini’s in West Queen Street West had some of the best in town and I was eager to see if they could live up to the lofty expectations. Like other poutineriess, it had a few different options, but I was most intrigued by their Layered Poutine. This included an extra layer of cheese in the middle, and as much as I like bacon and other such things, this seemed best.

I ordered the regular size instead of their teeny weeny tiny, and watched as the lady behind the counter constructed a beautiful bowl of fries, cheese and gravy. After a few pretty photos, I took my fork to the pile of beauty and was impressed with what I found. The gravy was light without being too plain, and wasn’t too salty either, allowing the full flavor (or should I say flavour?) of the fries and cheese to do their own work. I was very happy with the extra layer of cheese, because more cheese is always good, although I probably would have still been happy with just the regular amount of cheese.

The only downside was that it got a little bit intense at the bottom of the serving. It’s to be expected, but still not ideal.

Nonetheless, I can safely say that this was the best poutine I have ever had (at least since starting up this blog, because I stupidly didn’t start until after going to Montreal). I’d recommend Poutini’s for anyone looking to take down that glorious blend of potato, dairy and meat drippings.

The 8 oz. Burger Bar in Melrose has intrigued me for a long time. It combines two of my favorite things, burgers and bars, into one, so I knew eventually I would have to see how well that combination works. I recently got my chance and even went online to check their menu before going. On that menu I saw something that made me want to go even more: Fried Wisconsin Cheese Curds. Cheese curds are one of my favorite things in the world and although I prefer them un-fried, I will eat them anytime I see them offered. Excited about these curds, I stepped into 8 oz. Burger Bar.

Then I looked at their menu and almost cried.

No cheese curds. Quick, unvegan, think fast. There could be a good reason for this. Maybe they are kind of a secret dish only for people who read their menu online. Perhaps they were recently added to the menu online yet, but they hadn’t printed out the new menus for the restaurant yet. Still full of hope, I asked the waitress and she replied that they no longer served them. Drats! I mean how hard is it to take them off the online menu? I checked today and they are still there. Had I never known about the existence of the curds, I would have been happy in my ignorance, but seeing them on the menu online and not actually serving them gave my visit an immediate bitter taste.

We tried to salvage my disappointment by ordering a few sides. These were the fries, sweet potato chips and truffled potato skins. Nothing like a few good starches to get your stomach warmed up. Each of these appetizers tasted good in their own ways, so I didn’t feel like I was getting a potato overload. The sweet potato chips were both the orange and purple variety, which didn’t really taste any different, but were a nice touch.

The potato skins were like none I have ever had before, topped with truffle oil and a light cheese and further cemented my thoughts that truffle oil makes everything taste better. They tasted quite good and were a nice change from the typical potato skins loaded with cheese and bacon (although those are always delicious). The fries were Kennebec…whatever that means. To me it just meant they were pretty damn good. Crispy on the outside and soft on the inside.

But enough about the sides, you say, on to the burgers. Well their normal burger options seemed pretty uninspired from my unvegan point of view. Some started out strong, but then threw in items that would have just ruined them (vegetables). Instead, I ordered their Suds & Slider Sampler. This intrigues me because it offered up a couple of meats not found in ordinary burgers, namely Niman Ranch lamb and wild boar. The third slider was triple prime beef. I knew these wouldn’t be sliders in the real sense, but I thought the mini burgers would be nice.

When they came, I ate them in the order requested of me. First was the wild boar. This burger was cooked extremely rare, which is supposedly necessary with wild boar because otherwise it could get too tough. The flavor was very different from pork, and I think that’s a good thing. Next came the triple prime beef burger. This was a great blend and a great grind. Finally, I delved into the lamb burger. Of the three, this was definitely my favorite. It had a nice taste and was the best-cooked of all.

Just a few comments on the burgers in general. First off, the menu says that they are cooked medium rare to medium. This was a bit of an overstatement, because these burgers definitely seemed to straddle raw and rare. Some people love this, but I don’t know why. The meat in the middle of the burgers, especially the beef one, had a sort of slimy texture that is usually the result of uncooked meat. I couldn’t even finish the beef burger because of this. Also, the buns were pretty big for the size of the burgers. Maybe they just needed to be squeezed down a bit, but I shouldn’t have to open my mouth as wide as it goes to bite into mini hamburgers.

The burgers also came with beer pairings to fulfill the “suds” part of the sampler. I honestly have no recollection of what these suds were, except that they were pretty good and were well-matched with the burgers. Each one was 5 oz., which was just enough to satisfy my thirst.

One thing that 8 oz. Burger Bar has, that some pretentious burger places don’t, is the ability to customize your burger. This is a great option for unvegans, although I didn’t partake in this option. This restaurant has a lot of potential to be great, starting with remedying the cheese curds situation and finishing with cooking their burgers for a length of time not broken down into nanoseconds. If they could take care of these things, 8 oz. Burger Bar could be great, but until then I can find a better meal elsewhere.

Edit: This location is gone, but A & W still lives elsewhere.

I always have fond memories of trips to A & W from when I grew up. I always loved their root beer floats and their curly fries. So when I stumbled upon an A & W in Hawthorne, I knew I had to return to relive my glory days.

Unfortunately, as with so many other childhood favorites, my hopes were too high for A & W. This particular A & W was merged with Long John Silver’s, which made me sad to hearken back to the days when an A & W could have a restaurant all to itself, and not just any restaurant. These were the drive-thru sorts where you parked next to a menu and were waited on in your car. It seems those days are all but gone, and despite the generic and washed out design of this A & W/Long John Silver’s amalgamation, I hoped that the food would make up for it.

The first thing I noticed was the obvious absence of curly fries. This was disheartening, although I felt slightly better when I saw they had fried cheese curds. After looking at the menu, I decided on the Papa Burger. This was a double cheeseburger, with a special sauce called Papa sauce. I was told this was essentially thousand island dressing and then I made sure to order it without any vegetables. Since I was feeling pretty hungry, I got it as a combo, with a root beer float and cheese curds.

Then the waiting began. It turned out that the guy who took my order also happened to be the guy who prepared all the food. It also turned out that everyone sitting in the restaurant when I walked in also happened to be waiting for their food. Twenty minutes later, I finally got my order.

I tasted the burger and almost choked. The special sauce was more fluorescent than the American cheese, which isn’t an easy thing to do. And it really was special, because it didn’t taste anything like any thousand island I’ve ever had. In fact, it was as if someone had urinated in a bowl of thousand island (oh please tell me this isn’t what actually happened). The beef itself was also a huge letdown. The texture was comparable to an overworked and dried-out sponge. The fries were decent despite not being curly, as were the cheese curds (you really can’t go wrong with fried cheese), but the one truly redeeming part of this meal was the root beer float. I was so happy to find that they didn’t forget how to do these right. Even though the ice cream was soft-serve, they found a way to make it taste right.

I may end up at A & W again, but it certainly won’t be for the food.