The Unvegan

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Global Shrinking

Is this the future unvegan?

As if we don’t have enough to worry about with global warming. What with the crazy 110 degree weather I’m experiencing in the hellish valley or dwindling glaciers, now we have to worry about shrinkage. Now, not that kind of shrinkage. That kind comes with the cold. No, the shrinkage I write of affects all unvegans, whether man, woman or beast.

According to a new University of Florida study, global warming makes carnivores shrink. The study involved a “…hyena-like animal…[which] evolved from the size of a bear to the size of a coyote during a 200,000-year period when Earth’s average temperature increased about 15 degrees Fahrenheit.” Fortunately, I don’t have to worry about lasting that long, but it will be a sad future if my unvegan descendants evolve into pygmy unvegans. For that reason alone, it’s time to put a stop to global warming.

(via Times of India)