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No Beans About It Chili Recipe

Core chili ingredients.
Core chili ingredients.

I am a man of strong principles and one of these is that beans have no place in chili. Sorry, that’s not how we did it where I’m from and I intend to keep it that way. To see how this would fly, I started looking for food ideas at which helped me put together a chili recipe to participate in a chili cookoff and took home the grand prize. So here it is, the Award Winning Unvegan Original No Beans About It Chili Recipe.


2 lbs 80% Ground Chuck Beef
16 oz (1 package) Trader Joe’s Uncured Bacon Ends and Pieces
1/3 cup Chili Powder
1 1/2 tsp Cumin
1/2 cup Sweet Onion
1/2 tsp Dried Oregano
1 Bay Leaf
5-6 Cloves of Garlic
2 Seeded Jalapenos (3 for extra heat)
1 Cayenne Pepper
1 Dried Ancho Pepper
28-29 oz Tomato Puree
1 Bag Shredded Sharp Cheddar
1 Bag Fritos
Your favorite hot sauce


I thought I would use those green chilies but wisely chose not to.
I thought I would use those green chilies but wisely chose not to.

Rehydrate the ancho chili by removing the stem and emptying out the seeds. Then place in hot water for 30 minutes to an hour until it has fully plumped. Drain, then blend for a couple seconds. Dice the onion (seriously, do this before working with the hot peppers because you don’t want your hands covered in spicy death while you cry and rub your eyes from the onion) Roast cayenne and jalapeno peppers over stove or other fire until skin crackles. Allow to cool down, then de-seed jalapenos and dice all peppers. For good measure you can dice the garlic now or just use a garlic press later like me.

Bacon makes everything better.
Bacon makes everything better.

Cook bacon fully in pan or pot. Don’t make it crispy, but make sure it is cooked through. Remove bacon and place on a paper towel to soak up the excess fat. Keep the bacon fat from the pot or pan you used to cook the bacon. Cut bacon into small pieces and set aside for later. Add the bacon fat to the pot you will use to brown the beef. After browning, drain the beef.

Now you can pretty much add everything to the crockpot. Remember to bust out the garlic now if you didn’t dice it earlier. Cook on low for six hours.

Winner winner, no beans dinner.
Winner winner, no beans dinner.

By the way, you might be wondering why there’s no salt. First, bacon has plenty to make up for it. Second, I added a secret ingredient at the end, which you may have noticed in the picture up above: five packets of Taco Bell Fire Sauce. It also has plenty of salt, as do most hot sauces. Feel free to add hot sauce to taste, but I don’t find it necessary to add the heat earlier on because it doesn’t need to be slow cooked like the peppers. Serve with cheese and Fritos. Also, let me know what you think if you do make this chili. It’s a new recipe and can certainly stand to be altered.