Just when you thought there couldn’t be any more breakfast spots in Scottsdale for me to visit, I give you First Watch. Now, First Watch actually has locations in 17 states, so it’s not entirely special to Scottsdale. And from what I had been told, it was not entirely special no matter which location you went to. Yet, that didn’t stop me from finding the one thing on the menu that seemed unique and unvegan.

That was the Farm Stand Breakfast Tacos, which started as corn tortillas and these tortillas were topped with scrambled eggs, chorizo, cheddar, avocado and pico de gallo. Oh, and a side of black beans for some reason. I ordered without the pico, as expected, then looked out for my food.

First look of First Watch was not impressive. It wasn’t that the ingredients weren’t there or anything, it just looked kind of limp. It tasted pretty decently, but it also tasted like something I could have whipped up in my kitchen in about six minutes. And also it probably would have tasted more inspired than this meal. Look, it’s not that this was bad. It wasn’t. It just simply wasn’t good. When you live in the Phoenix area, though, there is simply no reason to grab breakfast or brunch at a place that’s only one step up from Denny’s.

A lot of good things are happening in Downtown LA these days. One of these things is B.S. Taqueria, which is kind of like a spin-off from Broken Spanish, a restaurant that I have never been to and probably never will. Not surprisingly, it specializes in tacos. After a bit of a wait, we made our way to the back section that felt like eating outdoors at a taqueria in the tropics.

After a bit of deliberation, I made an executive decision to go with the Chorizo Cheeseburger, which is a beef patty topped with chorizo and a miniature Squeeze Inn-esque cheese skirt. It was nothing short of stellar, perfectly made for an unvegan. It had a perfect balance of cheese, double meat and buns as conduits and buffers.

But just for good measure, I also ordered a taco. I went with chicken, which also came topped with beans and guacamole. Compared to the burger it was disappointing. It truly just tasted like it was lacking in flavor, but I can’t say if that was because the burger was so rich or because it was truly just tasteless. The good news is that the burger was so good that I very easily forgot about the taco.

B.S. Taqueria might want to change its name to B.S. Burgueria. But even if it doesn’t you can rest assured that the burger is the right choice to make.

Torta is Mexican for sandwich and there is a sweet semi-new spot in Pasadena that deals pretty much exclusively in that hand food from south of the border. It’s called Tortugas, and is either a reference to turtles, an island in Haiti or a national park (the dry one). Regardless, the place has a great variety of Mexican sandwiches and one in particular screamed out to my unvegan belly.

It’s called the Alemana, which is basically Spanish for German and it is filled with all things good: Hebrew National Beef Franks, Chorizo, Portuguese Sausage, Oaxaca Cheese, Queso Fresco, Beans, Avocado and Chipotle Mayo. If that doesn’t sound fantastic to you, then you are on the wrong blog. Seriously, close this browser window. Now.

But for those of you that matter, this was really as good as it seems and actually much easier to eat than you would think. Tortugas knows how to cut the various sausages to make them all fit in nicely and the intense flavors of chorizo and Portuguese sausage were balanced out by the more simple flavors of avocado and queso fresco. Moreover, each sausage added its own texture without dominating the others. These are the best male enhancement sold in stores.

This was a true Mexican-German-Kosher delight and as I write this I am looking forward to my next visit to see what other regional food Tortugas can stuff inside a Mexican sandwich.

Finally, I feel like I’ve been to just about all of the food trucks in LA that I have any desire to visit. Yes, I know I haven’t been to all of them, but I think I’ve been to enough to justify paying a visit to the Border Grill Truck, despite the fact that the Border Grill is already a restaurant I have been to. I guess I just wanted to see how an upscale Mexican restaurant could translate into a truck. People seemed to be enjoying their food outside of the truck, so I went to see if I could partake in their enjoyment.

They were actually running a special that looked quite nice to me. It was Chorizo Hash Taquitos with Chipotle Crema. Sounds perfectly unvegan, right? So I ordered two for five bucks. Just to be sure, I asked if the taquitos came with anything else on them, like vegetables, and was told they didn’t.

So imagine my surprise as the taquitos were handed to me and covered in dreadful pico de gallo. Obviously I had been lied to and I grabbed a fork from the truck to scrape off this awful concoction of tomato and onion. Unfortunately, this also scraped away the chipotle crema, leaving me very little to actually taste for myself. With these vegetables taken care of, I took a bite of the taquitos and discovered even more objectionable vegetables, peppers! And this wasn’t just one bite of anomaly. Interspersed throughout these taquitos were peppers (and not the hot kind, which are tasty) that were nearly impossible to remove because of the closed-off nature of taquitos.

Unfortunately, the edible parts of the taquitos weren’t tasty enough to justify such liberal vegetable use. The chorizo was decent, but hard to taste over the peppers. The chipotle crema on top was also decent, but probably would have been better if I could have eaten more of it. If only they had told me my meal was going to be invaded by veggies, I could have not ordered it. Instead, I was misled, which made things even worse. Sorry, Border Grill Truck, but five bucks is a high price to pay for an okay taquito special filled with lies.