Old Town Scottsdale is basically the touristy mecca of Scottsdale. And while touristy doesn’t often translate into delicious food, there are a few gems among those crowded streets. On the outside, Farm + Craft seemed like such a place with a great open concept and an “order at the counter” or “order at your table” that seemed to depend on the whim of the workers that day.

The menu wasn’t exactly extensive, and certainly seemed to care a lot about giving off a healthy vibe. Thus, I decided to go with the Grass-Fed Burger. I love my burgers grass-fed, and I also like it when they are topped with havarti, sun-dried tomato sriracha mayo and avocado. I don’t like it when those ingredients are on a whole wheat bun with mixed greens, but I got them to omit the greens and accepted the bun. The side options were all pretty dumb and veggie-like, with the closest to any sort of reason being sauteed sweet potatoes.

With all that, you may expect me to say I loved the burger, but in reality it actually was pretty lacking in flavor. It makes sense to a certain degree though, as havarti is a pretty mid cheese, avocados don’t bring too much flavor to the table and the beef just didn’t seem seasoned. The mayo tried to save it all, but not successfully. It was also hard to overcome the burger not being very juicy. Oh, and I didn’t even mind when my son went after my sweet potatoes, because sweet potatoes are meh in the best of times.

So while I always want to say I loved a grass-fed burger, I couldn’t help but feel let down by Farm + Craft. There is apparently no farm nearby with seasoning, but if they find one it would go a long way in making a better burger.

Once upon a time there was a sub-genre of movies called Spaghetti Westerns. They were Western movies that were produced by Italians, making them look and feel different from your more traditional Westerns. Old Town Scottsdale is kind of set up to look like the old west. And in Old Town Scottsdale is an old school Italian place called Italian Grotto. It’s like spaghetti in the west, but there is good, bad and ugly about it.

Let’s start with the good. I definitely liked the lasagna that I ordered. It was loaded with layers noodles, tomato sauce, ricotta and a meaty combination of beef and Italian sausage. It was what you expect from an old school lasagna.

The bad was the price. This slice of lasagna ran me $15. You go to an upscale place and that’s pretty expected, but you don’t expect it at a place like this. Of course, it must be understood that this lasagna is located in Old Town Scottsdale, which is essentially tourism central in Scottsdale. Yet, for a price like that in a place like that, I expect something a bit more special.

Then there’s the ugly. Something about Italian Grotto just kind of felt dirty. And not like the kind of dirty that adds character to the place. The kind of dirty that makes you question the tap water and cleanliness of the silverware. Perhaps that was why it was pretty empty during the daytime on a weekend. Places like this may just be meant for dinner because the darkness hides the ugly.

The Italian Grotto got the job done. It didn’t impress and at moments it did disappoint. Better Italian can certainly be found around Phoenix at a better price. But if you do find yourself craving Italian food while in Old Town Scottsdale, make sure it’s at night or come up with another craving.

I generally try to avoid fancy restaurants. Really, they just aren’t my thing. But special occasions call for special eats, and so I found myself at Citizen Public House in Old Town Scottsdale in need of some food. And then, like a week later I found myself back there again. No joke, it was crazy.

So on round one, I kept it simple. I went with the Jucy Lucy, which is an import from Minneapolis. But there was a twist to this Jucy Lucy in that it was stuffed with Velveeta. I don’t know if this means gourmet burgers have jumped the shark because Velveeta is inherently like the bottom of the cheese food chain or if gourmet burgers are now better than ever because they can get away with such a thing. Either way, I freaking love Velveeta and I loved this burger. Plus, it’s not like you really ever pay a high price for a gourmet burger because of cheese, you buy it for the meat and everything else and this burger delivered.

On my return, I went more all out on the menu. It began with their Kilt Lifter Fondue, which I assumed was made with the Kilt Lifter Ale and was not intended to lift any kilts. This fondue was served with Asian Pears, hunks of bread and sausage slices. Probably the biggest, and really only, problem the fondue had was that it was heated up by a candle. Sure, it looked cute, but in a restaurant with a whole section open to the great outdoors, the candle failed to stay lit and keep the fondue bubbling. Bubbling or not, though, there was nothing not tasty about this fondue.

For my main course, I ordered probably the best fancy pork I’ve ever had. It was called the Gypsy Pork Shank and it was smoke and salt cured, with fingerling potatoes and Hungarian goulash. The pork was massive and it wasn’t just about the size of this pork, it was the tenderness and flavor that just basically blew me away. All I needed was a fork to take this thing apart and anytime it got a little too rich, I had the goulash to tone it down with some alternative flavor.

Between the burger and the pork shank in two trips to Citizen Public House, I had two amazing meals. It may be a fancy place, but it’s a fancy place made for an unvegan.

In the short time I’ve spent living in Phoenix, I’ve had me a few burgers, but I until heading to Rehab Burger Therapy, I had not yet made my way to a place specializing in those delicious ground beef and bun combinations. I arrived in Old Town Scottsdale thinking I was going to go to town on some meat on meat action, but my meal took an unexpected turn.

It started out pretty normal, with me leaning towards a burger with pulled pork on top, but when the waiter found out I was new to orlando drug rehab, he immediately recommended the PBJ and Bacon Burger on a pretzel bun, which also has sriracha on top of all those other goodies. I could not refuse this, as I trusted the man for no other reason than the Detroit “D” tattoo on his arm. He then proceeded to recommend ordering a combination of fries and sweet potato tots, to which I obliged.

Upon my meal coming out, a few things shocked me. The first was that there was a pickle spear next to the burger that I had overlooked on the menu. This was disappointing, but I had no one to blame but myself. The second was that my buddy spilled the beans about my food blogging to the waiter. The waiter then proceeded to bust out some extra sauces for me to try the fries and tots with in addition to the chipotle aioli that they already came with. Normally, I don’t like to be treated differently so I can give an accurate review, but since this didn’t impact the core of my meal I was good with it.

And as far as the core of my meal goes, the PBJ and Bacon Burger was the sweet, salty and smokey combination I was hoping it would be. This was not my first time taking down such a burger, but the execution was pretty stellar. Truly, each ingredient was in perfect balance with the others. There wasn’t a lot of spiciness, but enough to let you know it was there, and the same could be said for everything else. Plus, the pretzel bun held up well with such a juicy and saucy burger.

And, while the dipping sauces were all good in their own right, nothing could beat simply dipping the fries and tots into the burger runoff, which at any moment was a combination of peanut butter, grape jelly, sriracha and beef juices. If they could turn that into an aioli I’d be the first one to buy it.

While I can only account for the PBJ and Bacon Burger, Rehab Burger Therapy seems to be a place that knows what it is doing. I’m definitely eager to get back to find out if any of the other burgers can live up to this one, but it won’t be easy.

Is there anything better in the world for two brothers to do than to build a brewery? Well, that’s what one pair of brothers thought (allegedly) when they put together Two Brothers Brewery, a microbrewery with locations mostly around the Chicago area, but also one in Scottsdale because Chicago places seem to feel welcome here.

There was plenty of beer to choose from, and, like all good breweries, there was a menu flush with burgers, pizzas and for some reason even a schwarma plate. I focused on the burgers, as I tend to do in such places, and found the Pork Belly BBQ Burger to be up my alley. It consisted of a Niman Ranch patty, fried pork belly, house BBQ sauce and cheddar cheese. No more, no less. And I chose the truffle parmesan fries for my side because that’s how I roll.

When the burger arrived, it delivered on the ingredients, but felt like it had been hastily cobbled together. Not like in a cool, artisan way, but in a way that implied a degree of nonchalance. Did it taste good? Sure. I mean, it’s really hard to mess up this combination and the only thing missing was a little more BBQ sauce to keep things moist because the pork belly was fried pretty hard. Plus, the fries were pretty killer.

My overwhelming feeling as I polished off this burger was that it had done just enough. No more. No less. That’s really just fine when you’re going out for drinks and need something to eat. But when you’re going out to eat, and just want to have a drink with that meal it can be a bit underwhelming. But, since Two Brothers is a brewery first and foremost, I think I know what they had in mind.