Peppi’s Subs, which has a few locations around Pittsburgh, has a little (big) sandwich called The Roethlisburger (or #7 depending on who you ask). I’m not sure how the sub shop attracted clientele between 1983 and 2004 when Big Ben arrived in Pittsburgh, but I was in no mood to find out when I paid Peppi’s in the Strip District a visit.

Weirdly enough, The Roethlisburger isn’t a burger at all, which makes me wonder why the spelling was changed to seem like a burger. Rather, it is a sub filled with sausage, burger meat (okay I guess that might be how it got its name), egg and American cheese. It can also come with a slew of veggies and mayo by request, but I can’t imagine why anyone would request such a thing. As I awaited my sub, I couldn’t help but notice that Peppi’s is perhaps the most yinzer place in existence in terms of the decor and the people the frequent the place. Nonetheless, I was eager for my sub.

As it turns out, sometimes American cheese is a good thing. At least that was the case with The Roethlisburger, whose ingredients were literally and figuratively held together by the cheese. It helped to maintain a sense of balance within the sub and physically kept the ingredients close to each other to ensure maximum flavor in each bite. On the outside, the roll was actually pretty perfect. Inside, the sub seemed to personify Pittsburgh even more than it personified Ben Roethlisberger because the colors that stood out were black char and yellow cheese.

Sure, the eggs could have been runnier and the burger a bit more rare, but this was a divey sub in a divey sub shop named after a gropey quarterback. In short, I was pleased and would happily eat a #7 anytime.

Diner’s Drive-Ins and Dive’s is about as close as it gets to an unvegan TV show. This, of course, does not mean any endorse any part of Guy Fieri, but the show nonetheless has been my guide on a number of food expeditions. The most recent of which is Kelly O’s, which can be found in Pittsburgh’s North Hills or in the Strip District. Considering the Strip District is generally a better and closer place to go, there I went for breakfast.

On the inside the place is essentially every other greasy spoon in the world. Bar seating for regulars, booths for the rest and disinterested servers for all. I was interested in ordering whatever Guy ate, but when I saw what that was I knew I should get myself some buffer. That buffer came in the form of a side of Corned Beef Hash. This hash was really everything I could hope for in diner hash, including the beautiful orange plate. It was in patty form, a little crispy on both ends and filled with salty corned beef and potatoes.

As for what I might call my main course, Guy’s favorite was something called Mush with Bacon Bits. It turned out “mush” was simply deep-fried polenta and the bacon bits were, well, bacon bits made with real bacon. It also came with some maple syrup. It was also terrible. The polenta was so damn crispy that it was barely edible, while the bacon bits and maple syrup somehow seemed to have all of the flavor sucked out of them. I didn’t know it was possible to not like bacon, but apparently mush makes that possible.

So thanks for nothing, Guy. Kelly O’s may very well have some good food more along the lines of that hash, but do yourself a favor and avoid the mush at all costs.

Apparently Pittsburgh is home to one of the most popular spots on Yelp, like, ever. And while I found this out after journeying to the Strip District for some food, I can report that Yelp got this one right. The place is called Gaucho Parrilla Argentina and is an Argentinean steak, sandwich and anything else awesome restaurant without enough seats to handle my immediate family. While the place is all about their wood-fired grill, I actually pursued a different route on my first visit.

I started things out with a set of beef empanadas that were pretty normal as far as enchiladas go. But I followed those up with the Rosemary Braised Beef sandwich. This came topped with some horseradish sauce and caramelized onions on a baguette. I ordered without the caramelized onions and while this blew the cashier’s mind and he pushed hard for me to retain the onions, eventually he gave in to my unvegan needs. The good ones always do.

The sandwich was ready pretty quickly, but I still had enough time to load up on all four of their sauces beforehand. They had ajo (garlic), chimmi (chimichurri), cebolla (onion) and pimenton (pepper). All of these seemed to come on various sandwiches, just not the one that I had ordered. When the sandwich came out I was ready to try them all along with it. But before I get into that, I should say that this sandwich would have gotten along just fine without any of the sauces.

It was nice and full of the meat, which was flush with great beefy flavor and just the right amount of rosemary and horseradish sauce. It was so damn tender that the toasted baguette gave it perfect mix of textures. But when it came down to the sauces, one reigned supreme in enhancing the flavor of the sandwich while providing great flavor on its own. This was the chimmi, and if Gaucho decided to start bottling that stuff up and selling it they could probably have a nifty little side business.

As for my second visit, I decided to pursue the wood-fired route and split the Asado Plate with my buddies, which includes every cut of steak they have. This means Flank, Ribeye, NY Strip, Hanger and Filet. Each was cooked somewhere near medium rare, except the Filet, which had a bit too much brown. While the best cut of steak was the Ribeye, the big winner was the seasoning, which would have made dog food appetizing. The Ribeye was so good, by the way, that we ordered another entire Ribeye steak to split afterwords to complete a solid Bang Bang (look it up).

In short, go to Gaucho. The only thing you’ll regret is not going sooner.

Hailing from the closest thing to the Middle East outside the Middle East (Michigan) I often crave me some schwarma. Unfortunately, Pittsburgh wasn’t satisfying this craving until I heard about Salem’s Market & Grill in the Strip District. The restaurant is set up kind of like a cafeteria, but with the addition of spinning spools of meat. There was Indian food as well, but I was at Salem’s for one thing only.

I ordered some Chicken Shawarma (since that’s how they spell it) and asked what it came with aside from the chicken and garlic sauce. The guy listed a veritable salad’s worth of vegetables and I asked to have them all removed. He happily complied by writing “No Veggies” on my ordered sheet and I watched as he put together a fully-loaded pita of chicken and sauce. I also snagged a side of hummus.

The results were just as I had hoped. The garlic sauce was delicious and the chunks of spooled chicken were deliciously seasoned. I wouldn’t have minded more garlic sauce, but that happens pretty much always. Plus, the fresh hummus was a nice touch after months of store brands. And, it was damn cheap. My sandwich was only $6.50 and could have been plenty filling for a meal if I weren’t trying to taste a little more.

Salem’s definitely lived up to its billing and I now know where I can go to get my Middle Eastern fix when the craving comes.

Down in the Strip District is a relative newcomer to Pittsburgh. Called the Thin Man Sandwich Shop, the name really called out to me because I often feel like a fat man trapped in a thin man’s body. It’s a curse, I know. But I digress. Back in the sandwich shop, I immediately impressed by the options they had listed on their chalk board. If nothing else, they were creative with such seasonal sandwiches as Braised Beef Cheeks, Jamaican Jerk Goat Curry and Cashew Butter. I was eager to see if the creativity translated to eatability, which, as we all know, is not a word.

I opted for the Jamaican Jerk Goat Curry for little reason other than the fact that I had never before eaten goat in a sandwich. Also, consisting of coconut milk, habaneros, rice and beans, it appeared to be fit for an unvegan. And it was certainly as delicious as it was creative. Served in a pita, the flavors in this sandwich were nothing less than awesome. The habaneros gave it a great kick, but the flavor of the goat, jerk and curry all make their own marks on my taste buds as well. If Thin Man Sandwich Shop can perfectly fuse flavors like this on all their sandwiches, it will have quite a bright future.

Tucked into the back end of Strip District, a warehouse/ethnic grocery store area in Pittsburgh, is a place called Kaya. Part of the Big Burrito Group that seems to run a big portion of the Pittsburgh food scene. Kaya bills itself as island cuisine, but really has a bit of everything. Including burgers, which I heard were quite delicious, so I clearly had to get one.

The Kaya Burger was topped with bacon, avocado, pickles, tomato, Chihuahua cheese, a sunny side up egg and “Kaya sauce.” It also came with a choice of sweet potato fries, waffle fries or some kind of dirty salad. Being a lover of waffle fries, I went for those and made sure to order the burger without the pickles and tomato that would surely ruin the whole situation.

It turned out to be nearly a damn good burger. I say nearly because everything except the actual burger, which spent a bit too much time on the grill. It was big, but brown all the way through. Aside from that, each ingredient was prepared perfectly, right through to the waffle fries that were awesome.

If only they could actually get the patty right, this burger would have been incredible. Without that, it was all style, not so much substance.