The Unvegan

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Tastes of the Northwoods, Part IV: Pizza Fries

So good I just can't explain.
So good I just can’t explain.

Bridge’s Tavern in Lake Nebagamon, Wisconsin has no kitchen. In a lot of bars this can be a problem if I get the drunken munchies. Not at Bridge’s though, because despite their kitchen handicap they make Pizza Fries.

Pizza Fries aren’t too different from pizza, and they’re not really even close to being fries aside from abstract similarities in shape. Yet, Pizza Fries is the name that has been chosen for them. The closest thing they resemble is cheesey breadsticks, but this isn’t some gimmick to get people to buy an already existent product like when Burger King started making “Chicken Fries” (chicken tenders). There is just something about Pizza Fries that transcends any other nomenclature.

In composition, they are a thin, crispy dough with gooey cheese melted on top and a marinara sauce for dipping. Although these components are the same as a cheese pizza, somehow the Pizza Fries taste completely different. Picture yourself drunkenly enjoying a pizza. Great. Now multiply that by 10 and you have the happiness that is Pizza Fries.

Pizza Fries are a staple at bars throughout the Northwoods, but somehow seem to have failed to make it beyond the region. If an LA bar could offer me Pizza Fries (of course at a similar price of under 5 bucks), I would be one painfully happy man.