The Unvegan

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When Vegetables Attack: Enoki Mushrooms

Every so often, there is vegetable recall due to tainted vegetables. Although I consider vegetables alone to be tainted by their flavor, there are often worse surprises in store for the hapless vegetable consumer. The most recent of which is the recall of Enoki Mushrooms. They have been recalled because they contain bacteria called listeria monocytogenes. I’ve never heard of this particular strain of bacteria, but a quick search on Wikipedia tells me that it’s damn dangerous.

It’s bad enough that Enoki Mushrooms are funghi. I mean really, if they were called “Enoki Funghi,” would anyone eat them? No, of course not. The term funghi conjures up images of athlete’s foot, slime molds and that strange thing that grew in your yard as a kid that you knew you shouldn’t have eaten, but did anyway, and then your parents had to call poison control and pump your stomach. Those things are all similar enough to Enoki Mushrooms that I won’t touch them, but now throw in listeria monocytogenes and you have a severe case of When Vegetables Attack!

Give me meat and let my stomach digest in peace.