Here we have a long-awaited new guest blog from none other than @RGspiegel. Catch more of his writing here.

Disclosure I: David Marcus, one of the owners of Smoke Shack, is my second cousin.
Disclosure II: I’m starting a movement such that cousins are classified only as first or second cousins. How much better is that than trying to figure out your exact relationship to your dad’s first cousin’s son with somethingth-cousin-somethingths-removed? A lot.
Disclosure III: Smoke Shack was legitimately awesome.

Now that my and Unvegan’s journalistic integrity are squarely intact, I can begin the review of my glorious Saturday lunch at Smoke Shack, a BBQ restaurant that opened up about a month ago in Milwaukee’s third ward.

Due to my aforementioned relationship with one of the owners, I was an early “liker” of Smoke Shack on Facebook. As a connoisseur of hardcore food porn (when I really need to get in the mood I watch clips of Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives), I’ve been regularly excited to see that Smoke Shack has been putting up some exquisite-looking food for more than a month now and my anticipation was palpable.

We started off by ordering a bowl of chili (with beef brisket and jalapeños), candied bacon with sweet potato fries, and Kansas City rolls (pulled pork and Monterey jack cheese inside egg roll shells). “Will that be all for now?” the server asked. My dad made sure his friends didn’t want any other appetizers. For the time being they didn’t, to which I said, “Damn, I wanted you guys to say you wanted the wings.” (I had chosen everything else.) So they ordered the wings, too.

All of the appetizers were really good. The best of which being the Kansas City rolls, dipped in the ranch that I had asked for with the wings. Trying to come up with cogent words to adequately describe how good they were is turning my brain into Homer Simpson’s and I wish a 140-character made-up jibberish word connoting carnal satisfaction would suffice as professional and be understood by the masses. Just trust me on this one. The wings were really high-quality chicken but it would have been awesome if they could have been tossed in any (or all) of Smoke Shack’s four BBQ sauces–Carolina Gold, Kansas City, House, and Texas.

For the main course, we ordered a four-meat sampler plate, which consisted of house made Berkshire sausage, beef brisket, pulled pork, pulled chicken, and a side of baked mac and cheese. The sausage — spicy, succulent, crispy on the outside, and chewy on the inside — was simply amazing and a competitor with the pulled pork egg rolls for being Smoke Shack’s biggest differentiator. The mac and cheese probably needed a little bit more cheese but it’s not as if it was irresponsible.

The rest of the sampler platter was amazing and seemed to get better with every bite. After sampling each of the meats individually, I asked for a hard roll and made a dominantly dominant sandwich consisting pulled pork, pulled chicken, beef brisket, and the mac and cheese. I topped it with a mixed combination of all four BBQ sauces. This sandwich confirmed by former roommate’s rule of life that everything that tastes great tastes great together. That’s just science, I suppose.

For dessert, we split beignets (kind of like French donuts) and pecan pie with whiskey ice cream. Like a good neighbor, the waiter was there with a glass of milk. Both desserts were outstanding and as I ate them I imagined and tried to mimic the ear-to-ear, teeth-fillings-and-upper-gum exposed grin coupled with eyes WIDE open that my late grandfather would have had as he took his first bite of the warm, gooey pecan pie. When everyone was full to the brim and there was about a quarter of the pecan pie left, I had to finish it in his honor; there’s no way he would have let it go to waste. Someone had to be the humanitarian.

At this point, my impending food coma was in a square battle with my Diet Coke. (After four of them had been served in mason jars, I told the waiter to cut me off.) Diet Coke won the first round as I was able to walk back to my hotel but as soon as I got back to my room, it was clear that the food coma had just been biding its time.

It was the best kind of food coma, though, the kind where you have to find the precise right spot on which to lie on your side, re-positioning the food in your stomach so you’re not putting pressure on the points that are the fullest. I woke up about two hours later, still full, and ready to take on the rest of the day.

Two summers ago, I went to Bridge’s Bar in Lake Nebagamon after years of drinking dirt cheap pitchers of Leinenkugel’s there. But upon arrival, I found that the Leinie’s was missing. It was just about the scariest moment of my life. As I wallowed in sorrow, a friend brought a pitcher of beer to me excitedly. “They have Spotted Cow,” he proclaimed. I was unswayed, but he poured me a glass and I drank it because it sounded better than the Bud Light that was also on tap. My disappointment disappeared and I vowed never to return to Wisconsin again without drinking some Spotted Cow.

Anyone from Wisconsin knows Spotted Cow. Born in the small New Glarus Brewing Co., the beer only leaves Wisconsin if a lucky traveler smuggles it out. This makes Spotted Cow even more prized than my precious Leinie’s.

But why is Spotted Cow so amazing? According to the website, “Naturally cloudy we allow the yeast to remain in the bottle to enhance fullness of flavors, which cannot be duplicated otherwise. Expect this ale to be fun, fruity and satisfying. You know you’re in Wisconsin when you see the Spotted Cow.”

Just reading that makes me wish I was back in Wisconsin right now, sipping on some Spotted Cow. Some beers are seasonal and some beers are situational, but Spotted cow is the type of beer I could pop open any day of the week and any time of the year and be happy. There’s a hint of sweetness that sets it apart from any bitter beers, but it is subtle and does not distract from it’s classic beery taste. It also has a bit of a creamy texture to it that is not often found in a beer. A plain ale, minus any flavor, might as well feel like carbonated water when it hits the mouth, but Spotted Cow lets your taste buds and your sense of touch know that something special is happening inside your mouth.

Plus, I can picture myself eating anything with this beer. Sure, I’ve only really tested it on pizza fries, cheese curds, burgers and bratwurst, but a beer like this can only enhance a meal, not harm it.

So although I was saddened at the loss of Leinie’s at Bridge’s, things weren’t all bad. I doubt Spotted Cow will ever fully replace Honey Weiss as my favorite beer, but it does a damn good job of trying.

On our way out of an amazing Wisconsin weekend, we made a pit stop at Breakwater Restaurant in Superior. It looked like a local version of Denny’s, which was just what we wanted on our way out of the Northwoods. We were quickly seated and since everyone moves a little slow on the morning of July 4th, we weren’t waited on quite as fast as we had been seated. But outside of the hustle bustle of LA, we were happy to not be rushed out of breakfast.

The menu was definitely reminiscent of your average Denny’s-style breakfast/brunch, but with the Northwoods addition of at least one Lumberjack reference. Cue the Logger Lover here.

I went for the Corned Beef Hash. This was served with a choice of toast, muffin or pancakes. Most people would opt for the cakes, but I chose sourdough bread instead. I’m not like most people. I got my eggs over easy to complete the lyrics of the Dick Siegel song, “Angelo’s.” When the meal came, it looked tasty and I dug in with gusto. I found some perfectly salted corned beef hash, but they would become even better when I cracked open my eggs to let the yolk run through. Both the hash browns and beef had been sort of cubed, which gave them an interesting and delicious texture. The egg/corned beef hash combo served me well. The toast was a nice addition and had that extra touch of being pre-buttered. It didn’t have much of a sourdough flavor, but I wasn’t exactly expecting some sort of artisan bread.

To make my meal even meatier, I added a side of bacon to the mix. This was a nicely crisped breakfast side that made me sad to soon be departing the land of meat and cheese.

In the end, Breakwater served a pretty good meal. It was nothing groundbreaking, but with a name like Breakwater, that would be way too ironic. It was a good and reliable, which is sometimes all you need out of breakfast.

Oh, and they get bonus points for the taxidermy poster at the entrance.

In the meaty heaven of Northern Wisconsin, even I was amazed to find the following on a menu: “Light Portion 1/3 lb Hamburger Steak Dinner with grilled onions, mashed potatoes and gravy.” And where did such a light meal find itself? None other than Twin Gables in Brule, Wisconsin. This light meal quickly explained why they wouldn’t serve an egg white omelet to my girlfriend while simultaneously letting me know that anything I ordered was going to be goddamn amazing.

But I did not order that hamburger steak, nor, as much as I would have liked to, did I order “Hugs from Gail” (listed on the menu as “Priceless”). Instead I ordered something quintessentially Wisconsin, The Wild Omelet. Composed of chicken and cheese, it also contained something found at every shop in Northern Wisconsin: Wild Rice. It came with hash browns and toast as well.

Now before I get to the food, I feel it is my duty to inform the reader that although Brule may seem like the middle of nowhere, it is actually an area well known for more than a few of our past US Presidents. Grant, Cleveland, Coolidge, Hoover and Eisenhower all spent some time on the Brule River, with Coolidge even becoming quite the fly fisherman. But enough about history, back to my omelet.

And what an omelet it was. Stuffed with delicious chicken and wild rice, the only complaint I could conceive of was that it could have used a bit more cheese. But this is a small complaint. Seriously, because the great flavor and chewy texture of the wild rice really made this omelet an awesome and totally unique meal. The hash browns and toast were simple and tasty, but the inclusion of wild rice in an omelet was quite awesome.

Plus, no review of Twin Gables would be complete without mentioning our amazing waitress. We knew her name wasn’t Gail because another table sang “Happy Birthday” to her, so we didn’t ask for a hug. But even without a hug, her friendliness was exactly what you would hope to find anywhere in the world, and something that you pretty much expect to find in a place like Brule.

Located just south of President’s on Highway 53 in Superior, Wisconsin, is a restaurant in a box car. I’m not sure how, but it somehow got the name of Choo Choo Bar & Grill. Although it is plenty old, it seems that Choo Choo has been renovated recently and has the look of a new dive bar that will not look new for very long. And if anyone knows how to test out the food of a dive bar, it’s this guy.

I was told to check out their namesake Choo Choo Burger, but the presence of mushrooms and onions quickly sent me looking for something more unvegan. The search ended quickly with the Bacon Cheeseburger. I knew I didn’t have to order mine without vegetables, because my girlfriend had asked if they had salads on the menu and was rapidly shot down. Bad news for her, but reason for celebration for unvegans everywhere. I also knew this wasn’t going to be some fancy schmancy burger when the waitress walked away without even asking how I wanted it cooked. Fine by me.

What I got was a good old fashioned bacon cheeseburger. Classier than fast food, but without making any attempt at being gourmet. The meat was fresh and misshapen, while the bacon was some of the best I’ve ever had on a burger. It was perfectly crispy, salty and smoky. And while the cheese was good, it didn’t blow me away like Wisconsin cheese should have. Yet, that is a small complaint. No, this was not the best burger I’ve ever eaten, but it is definitely unvegan approved.

In this wonderful planet that we live in, there are few greater meccas of meat than Northern Wisconsin. After all, you’re not going to survive that winter on lettuce and kale. Yet, while shrines to meat are all over this mecca, the true Kaaba of Northern Wisconsin is Superior Meats. Located in the heart of Superior, Wisconsin, on Tower Street, the place is not in the most ideal location for someone like me looking to grill at Amnicon Falls, but like any meat pilgrimage, the journey to Superior Meats is well-worth it.

In the world of Michigan that I hail from, you grill hot dogs and hamburgers. In the Southwest, you might throw a little carne asada in the mix. And in Wisconsin, it’s all about the bratwurst. Superior Meats is the holy grail of brats. The flavors range from the simply named Beer, to the descriptive Wild Rice Cranberry Turkey, to the curious Sheboygan. But it doesn’t stop there. They also pack in crazy burgers with similar ingredients to the brats, amazing beef sticks, multiple varieties of jerky and cheese. Since we were a huge crew of guys with a couple girls sprinkled in, we loaded up on a feast of meats for grilling. Of all we ordered, here is what I remember:

Brats:

Breakfast

Beer

Three Cheese

Packer

Hunter

Philly Cheese Beef

Bacon and Blue Cheese

Burgers:

Philly Cheese

Bacon Cheddar

French Onion

Pepper Jack

The grand total, including all our fixin’s came to a measly 7 bucks per person. When we got to Amnicon Falls to grill, we opened up our spread of meat and witnessed something beautiful. But there was barely time to admire before the grill was fired up and we got to cooking. While the cooking job may not have been the greatest (due to lack of tongs), there was no question that these brats and burgers were some of the best the world had to offer, if not the best. My favorite was the bacon and blue. These tubes were oozing with flavors, snap and an unbeatable touch smoky goodness. After these, I don’t know if I can ever eat grocery store bratwurst again. And the burgers, too, were out of this world. Juicy, cheesy and unquestionably delicious, they managed to squeeze awesomeness into every ounce. A lot of places try to pull off the loaded burger patty, but Superior Meats has perfected it.

Now the only trouble is figuring out how to live my life without Superior Meats. Southern California is a far cry from Northern Wisconsin and I do my best to live a good unvegan life here, but now that I am back, I am concerned about what to do about grilling. Grocery store-bought burgers and bratwurst simply cannot compare to the glory of Superior Meats and perhaps it is better that way. Such a place would likely go unappreciated in the health-conscious enigma of LA, yet I can’t help but think that meats like those of Superior could convince a vegan to slaughter a pig on the spot.

So do yourself a favor…if you are ever within driving distance of Superior Meats, go. You and your stomach will thank me for it for the rest of your life.

Oh and if you know of a greater meat mecca than Northern Wisconsin, please let me know, because when I find myself eating up there it feels as though I’ve died and gone to meat heaven.

French fries go great with a burger, breadsticks are delicious with a pepperoni pizza and mac and cheese is the perfect partner with some ribs, but beer is amazing with any meat. It is difficult (although not impossible) to be an unvegan without having a great taste for beer and as any real beer drinker knows, not all beers are created equal. In my world, there is Leinenkugel’s Honey Weiss and then there are all other beers.

This is not to say that all other beers are terrible, but they are simply not as good as Honey Weiss. Brewed in Chippewa Falls, Wisconsin, Leinenkugel’s (affectionately referred to as Leinie’s) is the third largest craft brewery in the country, after Sam Adams and Sierra Nevada. Just like those breweries, Leinie’s has many varieties that can be found all around the Midwest, such as Creamy Dark, Berry Weiss and seasonals. In fact, Leinie’s has even made its way out to LA, but only the Classic Amber and Sunset Wheat flavors. These beers are good, but they are no Honey Weiss.

Although Honey Weiss looks light to the eyes, it doesn’t taste like a light beer. There is a tiny bit of honey in each batch, but that certainly doesn’t make the beer sweet. In fact, it remains less sweet than most other wheat (weiss means wheat in German) beers. Yes, I’m looking at you, Hefeweizen. Some choose to drink this beer with a lemon, but this is wholly unnecessary. The beer is perfect as it is and is incredibly refreshing without falling into being a light beer.

Some day I hope to have enough clout to bring Honey Weiss over to the west. There are some great beers out here, but none as good as a Honey Weiss. Some beers are best drank at a bar, some are best after a long day of work and some are best to crack open for Sunday football. Leinie’s Honey Weiss is perfect for any of these occasions and every time I drink it, it brings me back to nights in the Northwoods, kicking back next to a lake and loving my life.

Bridge’s Tavern in Lake Nebagamon, Wisconsin has no kitchen. In a lot of bars this can be a problem if I get the drunken munchies. Not at Bridge’s though, because despite their kitchen handicap they make Pizza Fries.

Pizza Fries aren’t too different from pizza, and they’re not really even close to being fries aside from abstract similarities in shape. Yet, Pizza Fries is the name that has been chosen for them. The closest thing they resemble is cheesey breadsticks, but this isn’t some gimmick to get people to buy an already existent product like when Burger King started making “Chicken Fries” (chicken tenders). There is just something about Pizza Fries that transcends any other nomenclature.

In composition, they are a thin, crispy dough with gooey cheese melted on top and a marinara sauce for dipping. Although these components are the same as a cheese pizza, somehow the Pizza Fries taste completely different. Picture yourself drunkenly enjoying a pizza. Great. Now multiply that by 10 and you have the happiness that is Pizza Fries.

Pizza Fries are a staple at bars throughout the Northwoods, but somehow seem to have failed to make it beyond the region. If an LA bar could offer me Pizza Fries (of course at a similar price of under 5 bucks), I would be one painfully happy man.

The transition from eating in LA to eating in the Northwoods of Wisconsin and Minnesota is pretty darn easy, especially for my tastes. While visiting the area recently, I found plenty of food (and beer) to make my tastebuds happy, while forking over a fraction of what I’ve been used to paying.

My first meal up there was at the Waterfront Bar & Grill in Lake Nebagamon, Wisconsin. After ordering two pitchers of Leinenkugel’s (the best beer in the world) for $6 each, I took a look at their food menu. What stood out to me the most on their menu was the double bacon cheeseburger. At $6, it appeared to be the most expensive burger on the menu. Not too shabby.

I ordered it and kept on drinking my Leinie’s. When it did come out, it was just as I had hoped, save for the glowing pickles. I offered them up to a friend, who quickly removed them from my sight and devoured them. The burger itself was really good. This could have been because I hadn’t eaten a real meal in ten hours and had already drank a few beers, but I think it just happened to be a good bar burger. Despite the trouble with the pickles, I was pretty content with my first meal in the Northwoods.