The Unvegan

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10 Years of Unvegan
A Quick Bite at Burrito Express
Serendipity at Northern Waters Smokehaus

‘Meat’

One Coin, Two Sides, Part II: Umami Burger (RELOCATED)

Only happy things between those buns.
Only happy things between those buns.

Following my Father’s Office experience, I set out for one of LA’s newest burger hotspots, Umami Burger.

I was a late addition to my group of friends, and the wait staff was extremely accommodating in letting me pull up an extra chair in such a small restaurant and order last. I took a quick gander at the menu and saw that all the burgers involved some sort of vegetative substance. I asked the waiter if I could just get a burger with American Cheese and their “spread” and she told me it was no problem (Basically the SoCal Burger without veggies). I was amazed, after having my no-substitutions experience at Father’s Office. Now, before you judge me for getting American Cheese, I have to tell you that Umami Burger makes their own American Cheese and it’s not supposed to be anything like the Kraft kind you get at the local Ralph’s. (read about it here)

One Coin, Two Sides, Part I: Father’s Office

Oh what have they done?!
Oh what have they done?!

For a huge selection of beer, Father’s Office is the place to go. They also happen to have a reputation for one of the best burgers around town. With this in mind, I set off for the Father’s Office in Culver City to get myself a taste of their legendary burger.

On the menu, I saw they had a few pretty good unvegan options, but they had a reputation for burgers and that’s what I had to get. It came with carmelized onions, some sort of bacon substance, arugula, gruyere and maytag blue cheese. This already wasn’t looking good. Then I saw on the menu that the burger couldn’t be special ordered. You either get it the way they make it, or you don’t get it at all. We aren’t exactly talking a steak dinner here, so I felt it was pretty pretentious for a burger. Nevertheless, I felt the need to try the burger.

Almost Getting What I Want at The Grind Cafe

Those two just look so good together.
Those two just look so good together.

On my last day in San Francisco, I headed to The Grind Cafe before hitting the road.

The menu looked pretty good. Despite a lot of the dishes having vegetables, the combinations with the vegetables removed looked like they would have been pretty enjoyable. One dish in particular looked extra good to me, though, the Corned Beef Hash. I have always found that dish to have quite the name and a nice little mix of ingredients. I went to the counter to order, only to be told that they were all out of it. Disappointed, I checked the menu again and ordered the Breakfast Burrito, which came with eggs, bacon, cheddar, avocado, salsa and sour cream. It was too early and I had too many hours on the road to be eating sour cream, so I ordered it without. It also came with hash browns on the side.

Paying Too Much at La Barca (CLOSED)

Ewww salad.
Ewww salad.

I should’ve known better, but it really wasn’t up to me. Living in SoCal has probably spoiled me in terms of Mexican food, but I was in San Francisco with some people from Arizona, and I assumed they knew Mexican better than me. They suggested La Barca, so we went.

We had some margaritas and chips to start off the night, which were actually pretty good, but then I opened up the menu and was shocked to see the prices. $10.50 for a burrito? In San Francisco?! Whack!

In the end, however, I ended up choosing that burrito, for it seemed to be one of the most unvegan options. Of the meat choices, I picked Chili Colorado Beef, which sounded impressive, although it is apparently neither from Chile nor Colorado…

Kogi BBQ Revisited at the Alibi Room

Still one good-looking burrito
Still one good-looking burrito

A while back, many of you may recall, I visited the Kogi BBQ taco truck at The Brig. I guess this was before they got big, because I ordered in two minutes and only waited another two to get the food. Soon after, I began hearing stories about how people would be waiting in line for 45 minutes to get in on that Kogi and there was even an article written about them in the New York Times! In response, they added a second truck, and finally expanded into the kitchen at the Alibi Room.

Eager for another piece of that Kogi, I went to the Alibi Room to see the new offerings. Everything was slightly more expensive, as I suspected it would be. In addition, Kogi expanded their menu to include such unvegan no-nos as kimchee quesadillas and the vegan sesame leaf taco platter. I was mildly intrigued by some of the new unvegan offerings like the sliders, but in the end settled on the burrito.

Eating My Way at Jenny’s Burgers

Just how a burger should be.
Just how a burger should be.

When I walked into Jenny’s Burgers in the Inner Sunset area of San Francisco, I couldn’t believe how cheap the menu was. Everything was under $10 and it all looked pretty good. After a quick look, I chose the bacon cheeseburger.

I watched as the guy behind the counter took the patty out, laid it upon the flame grill and started spinning it around the flames. It was almost hypnotic. Although it took a long time to cook the burger in this way, it was done just right.

Rather than dealing with the pesky condiments and toppings themselves, Jenny’s has them all next to the counter in a sort of buffet style. This worked out great for me, as I could avoid the vegetables and choose the only condiment necessary for this sort of burger: barbecue sauce.

Following Padma Lakshmi to Carl’s Jr.

Not nearly as sexy as it could be...
Not nearly as sexy as it could be…

When I first learned of Padma Lakshmi doing a commercial for Hardee’s, I knew I would have to eat whatever she did. Luckily, her burger of choice was the Western Bacon Thickburger.

Now here is where things get a little confusing. In California, there is no Hardee’s. Instead, there is Carl’s Jr., which is almost exactly the same as Hardee’s. A quick look at their websites reveals only a change in the name. The logo and layouts remain the exact same. There is, however, another twist. At Carl’s Jr., there is no such thing as a Thickburger, rather, it is called the Six-Dollar Burger.

Creping Out at the Squat & Gobble

So that's what a crepe looks like on the inside
So that’s what a crepe looks like on the inside

On a weekend in San Francisco, I found myself at the Marina and a restaurant called Squat & Gobble. Since the food I like to eat often squats and gobbles, I figured this would be a good place for me.

The menu was chalked onto the wall, and I felt awkward staring at it for such a long time before choosing. The main reason I took so long was because despite the name, many of the food items included food that neither squats nor gobbles (vegetables). The majority of the foods were crepe based, which I always like, but if a crepe is ordered wrong, it is extremely difficult to remedy the situation through picking out invasive veggies. After much debating, I chose the Chicken Pesto crepe. The ingredients listed were mozzarella, onions, chicken breast, pesto and sun-dried tomatoes. I got mine without the onions or sun-dried tomatoes, waited at my table with my number and hoped that none of the uninvited ingredients had made their way into my food.

Breakfasting at McDonald’s

The mysterious breakfast of McDonald's
The mysterious breakfast of McDonald’s

As I developed through my adolescence, McDonald’s made a descent to the bottom of my fast food choices. I can offer no clear reasoning for this except that their food just rubs my tastebuds the wrong way. In fact, I am sometimes proud to say that the only time I eat McDonald’s is outside the country. This statement, however, has a minor disclaimer. And that disclaimer is the McDonald’s breakfast.

McDonald’s breakfast has always been something of a mystery. Few people, if any, know when they stop serving it. Sometimes I wonder if even the employees of McDonald’s have a set time that they know when to cut breakfast off. The breakfast is so rare that when you do see one, you almost feel forced to partake in it, whether you’re hungry or not.

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