State Fairs are often an afterthought. A relic of times past when most of us lived in rural areas and guessing the weight of a pumpkin was the best entertainment of the month. They offer variations on the same rides, foods and entertainment that you find at your local Memorial Day Carnival or County Fair and, I mean, how many people even go to those? But the Minnesota State Fair is so far from an afterthought that it seems to be on the minds of Minnesotans for the 50 weeks of the year in which it is not in operation. Plans are made, new foods are devised and longed after; then, just like that, it’s over again. This year, however, the Unvegan paid a visit to see how it would all stack up.

Swedish Meatball Smorgas – The Blue Barn

It’s not all about gluttony. Sometimes it’s just about doing something no one ever thought of. Like putting Swedish meatballs on a roll, pouring white gravy all over them and then topping them with lingonberry jam and dill pickles. I was smart enough to order without the pickles and it paid off in pure sweet, salty and savory deliciousness.

Mangonada Shave Ice – Minnesnowii Shave Ice

You wouldn’t think Minnesotans would be fans of shave ice since they live among it for so much of the year. Yet, the Mangonada is real and it is fascinating. Packed with mango syrup, drizzles of chamoy sauce, popping boba (for some inexplicably genius reason), spicy tajin powder and a tamarind straw (for some inexplicably strange reason). The straw was useless, but the rest of this was somehow light, refreshing, hearty and spicy at once. And with all that, it just somehow worked.

Giant Juicy Turkey Sandwich – Turkey To Go

Being a first timer, I couldn’t just go with new stuff. And, frankly, I wasn’t too excited about getting a turkey sandwich. But, my buddy told me it was well worth it and, well, it sure was. I added bacon and a sweet glaze to mine and it was unbelievably juicy for what’s generally the driest fowl of all. As I drove past many a wild turkey in the Northwoods, all I could think about was how juicy they could be in sandwich form.

Blu – Grain Belt

I love blueberries and I love beer. It makes sense that I would like a blueberry beer, right? Wrong. It seems to be that the special beers at the Minnesota State Fair are pretty much all sweet, but this took that sweetness way beyond balance and into juice territory. Good thing I had all kinds of savory and salty foods to counter that sweetness (and don’t worry, I still drank the whole damn thing).

Gizmo – Carl’s

The Gizmo is another classic, and yet it is churned out by pretty much the most nondescript cart in the whole fair. Sometimes you just know you’re good and it’s hard to go bad when you are an Italian roll filled with ground beef, Italian sausage, red sauce and a layer of melted mozzarella cheese to seal all of the goodness in.

Sweet Greek Cheese Puffs – Dino’s Gyros

Ricotta and Feta. Flaky phyllo dough. Powdered sugar. More than a drizzle of honey. I am a many who loves his sweet and salty combos and these Sweet Greek Cheese Puffs did more than satisfy that craving. It may have gotten a but too sweet toward the end when the honey congregated in the corner with the remaining puff, but these were a treat.

Zesty PB&J Sausage – Gass Station Grill

It doesn’t sound right. Nope, not at all. But if you’ve been paying attention to burger places lately, mixing peanut butter, jelly and some sort of spiciness is all the rage. It’s only natural that it made its way into a tube steak. While each bite may have been somewhat inconsistent, there is no doubt that this works. If they can get that peanut buttery and jelly-y goodness more evenly distributed, this sausage could take over the world.

Turducken Sausage – Giggles’ Campfire Grill

Not all sausages are created equal. Or is it something about the size of the sausage versus what you do with it? Regardless, the Turducken sausage didn’t just lose the battle of the sausages, it barely seemed to fight. It was too tightly packed, the grind seemed off and really all I could taste was the turkey, with maybe a touch of chicken. Perhaps in years past this may have flown, but in the world of the Zesty PB&J sausage you have to be oh so much better than this.

Passion Fruit Pilsner – Bent Paddle Brewing

Duluth is a cool city. And it sent a pretty cool beer down to the state fair. It’s not a sour per se, but does it’s best to harness the tartness of passion fruit and churns out a pretty unique pilsner that is not too sweet and not too sour. It’s not just right either, but it’s good enough to make the drinking enjoyable.

Bacon-Wrapped Pork Belly – The Hangar

You don’t go to the state fair looking to eat a balanced meal. But nowhere is that lack of balance more exemplified than in this pork on pork action on a stick. It was so unbelievably juicy, smokey and salty forcing the use of dozens of napkins lest your face runneth with juices that would later congeal into something resembling a wax museum. While this may be perfection in meat form, the critic in me did wish there was some sort of a sweet and acidic dipping sauce like apple cider vinaigrette or a cherry reduction to accompany this meaty concoction. Despite that, the universe seemed to pause in recognition of the beauty of each bite of this masterpiece.

Fried Cheese Curds – Everywhere

Some day I’d like to pull an Andrew Zimmern and try every cheese curd purveyor at the fair. Until that day, I am a satisfied man as long as the place knows to stick with the white variety of cheddar, to fry them just right amount of time to maintain the squeakiness and to only lightly batter them lest the batter overpower the cheese. It’s not the tallest order, but it’s not the easiest one to fulfill either. Plus, when you’re coming from Arizona all cheese curds are good cheese curds.

Whelp. That’s a wrap. The pilgrimage is complete. Now if only I can figure out a way to make this an annual thing…or at least get to Iowa somehow…

When I left LA to move to Phoenix I had one major concern. No, it wasn’t the heat in the summer, it was the lack of ramen. You see, LA spoils you with a lot of Asian food, but ramen is easily one of the best of them. People go through life only knowing ramen from a dry cup and I feel terrible for those people, but is it better to have ramen and lost it than to never have had ramen at all? Lost or not, ramen has returned to my life in the form of Ramen Hood in Scottsdale. I headed out for the grand opening to see if it would fulfill my needs.

Ramen Hood offers customized ramen – like a custom burger spot but with ramen instead. You can choose your noodles and broth type, then pick from a bunch of other ingredients.

I opted for regular ramen noodles (as in not gluten free) and tonkotsu (rich pork) as my broth. Other broth options were shoyu (soy), spicy miso, tomato and vegetarian. I’ve always leaned towards tonkotsu and wasn’t disappointed in that decision.

It’s hard to have a bowl of ramen without a soft boiled egg, so I made sure to snag one of those. I also chose naruto (slices of a fish roll, named that because naruto means whirlpool and there are swirls in the roll), pickled ginger, seasoned bamboo, spicy miso paste and black garlic oil. The latter two enriched the broth, while the former three were there to enhance the dish. Oh and let’s not forget the cha siu pork, which was more thinly sliced and less melt-in-your-mouth than I’m used to.

I loved that Ramen Hood has Ramune (pronounced rah-moo-nuh), which is a crazy Japanese drink that is opened by popping a marble through the top. Melon is the best flavor; tell your friends.

Tempura bacon! Never seen this before and holy cow it’s amazing. I mean, nobody likes tempura vegetables anyway.

It’s really hard to beat having a new ramen place open right down the street from you. Especially when you are in somewhat of an authentic Asian food desert like Scottsdale. It was definitely a mistake to open a hot soup restaurant in the middle of the Phoenix summer, but  the ramen is good enough to keep Ramen Hood going strong until the colder months bring in the big crowds.

I’m going to say something unpopular. Bloody Marys are the worst. Tomatoes suck, celery sucks and there’s just something weird about spicy drinks. But I must say that I am glad that Hash Kitchen has made the big bucks off of having an incredible Bloody Mary bar. Why? Because it has enabled them to expand out to Chandler for their latest Grand Opening. And because I got to snag a bunch of the meats and cheeses from the Bloody Mary bar to decorate my beer. It may be frowned upon normally, but at the Grand Opening anything goes. As expected, the bacon was the best.

Having eaten at the Scottsdale Hash Kitchen locations a couple of times, I thought I knew what to expect from the Grand Opening. Regardless, here were some of the samplings.

Herb Fried Chicken and Waffle

With thick cut bacon, fried leeks and a warm maple reduction.

Avocado Toast

Using the split-top biscuit from the benedict, this is topped with avocado, carnitas, an over easy egg, green chili salsa and more of those fried leeks.

Carnitas Hash

Read more on this beautiful stuff here.

Cannoli Donuts

The biggest surprise of the night was how incredible the darker of these donuts were. Aside from the custardy filling, these donuts tasted as close as I’ve ever had to Cider Mill donuts this side of the Mississippi and that’s basically the best compliment a donut can get.

Fruity Pebbles Cereal Shooter

Fruity Pebbles dust, loopy vodka, rumchata and milk. A sweet and creamy way to get morning booze.

In all, I didn’t need convincing that Hash Kitchen is delicious, but it was definitely great to try some new things from the menu. Chandler is a lucky place to now have its own rendition of Hash Kitchen.

Tacos, tacos and more tacos. That was the premise of the Rockin’ Taco Rumble in Downtown Phoenix on March 2nd, 2018. $45 got you unlimited tacos, six drinks and a wooden nickel to vote for your favorite taco. It took place at Events on Jackson, which was a pretty cool venue, but what was much less cool was the fact that some spots were already running out of tacos by the time I arrived and the lines were crazy long. Nevertheless, I persisted and was able to identify some favorites.

Modern Tortilla – Lamb Adobo

I don’t know why, but this place had the shortest line and was pretty much the best taco around. The lamb was insanely juicy and the adobo flavors were strong with this one. I’ll just guess that this place knew how to operate its taco making so well that I went back for seconds.

Willie’s Taco Joint – Lob-Sta-Taco

Having just returned from Massachusetts, I was a bit skeptical about lobster in the desert. Yet, Willie’s did not disappoint, making great use of mango habanero salsa to enhance the tasty lobster flavor.

Helio Basin – War Bonnet Carnitas

This brewery knows its tacos. And this taco was popping with ribeye, jalapeno pesto, crema, pickled cauliflowers (no, I didn’t eat them), Fresno peppers, pomegranate and mango aji salsa. It was a mouthful, and yet all those different flavors worked really well together.

Taco Guild – Chipotle Cherry Steak

This taco took home the grand prize. I loved the combination of blue cheese, poblano straws, chile aioli and steak, but it was admittedly difficult to not be overwhelmed by all of the flavor packed into this taco.

As media, I was able to attend for free, but had I paid $45 or $55 to get in, I may have left disappointed, if not slightly hungry. Unlimited tacos shouldn’t have the caveat of first come first served, but that shouldn’t completely distract from how delicious the event was and how the event helped to raise money for the Phoenix Community Alliance. Tacos are great, but building a better Phoenix is even better.

The Super Bowl is set! And while everyone is pumped to see the Patriots again, and the Eagles again (but not nearly as again), it is important to realize that for most people the Super Bowl is about food and commercials. So, food, right? Lil’ smokies might sound good for another year, but sometimes it’s smart to just hit up a bar. I was just given an opportunity to check out the goods* at B2 Burgers and Brews, which is looking forward to hosting a bunch of people with some pretty exciting specials.

And the goods were good. The burgers ranged from the Aloha (pineapple, ham, teriyaki mayo and provolone) to the Breakfast (over easy egg, sausage patty, bacon, ham and hash browns). And then there was the one that I ate – Spicy PBJ & Bacon – topped with its namesakes, as well as pepper jack cheese. It’s also maybe important to note that the jelly is pepper jelly.

It was another great take on what seems to be a growing trend of merging the American classics of bacon, burger, and peanut butter and jelly. And perhaps even more important than the execution of the toppings was the perfect medium rare that the burger was cooked to.

The burgers can be ordered with a variety of buns and also with some delicious fries or sweet potato tots. I’m generally not a sweet potato man, but if you’re into that I’m sure you’ll be into these.

Oh and there were the wings as well. Because no self-respecting sports bar can go without wings, right? Unlike some places that resort to an all-out blitz of flavor options, B2 only has buffalo, honey BBQ, and teriyaki. I tested out the buffalo and BBQ, which both tasted like your standard buffalo and BBQ. Most importantly, though, they were meaty, juicy and fried just right. Which, of course, brings me to the point of all of this.

For the Super Bowl, B2 has specials up the wazoo:

• 75 cent wings all day (boneless or the good ones)
• $1 domestic beers from kickoff until the first score
• $5 bloody mary bar
• All day happy hours (think cheap drinks and lots of $5 apps)
• Raffles at the end of each quarter, including a 55 inch TV at the end of it all (must be present to win)
• 10% off pre-ordered takeout and $15 growler fills

Those are some pretty sweet deals if you ask me, at the very least good enough to get you out and about instead of sitting on your couch alone watching the Patriots and Eagles play for it all.’

*Which is code for free, but those specials are really close to free so there’s that.

The James Beard Awards may be a big deal nationwide, but in my years in LA and Pittsburgh, I didn’t feel like there was enough official recognition of local talent. Not so much in Arizona, which just had its Arizona Culinary Hall of Fame Awards. The event was at the snazzy Wrigley Mansion in the Phoenix Biltmore area and had some light apps to go with the awards.

While the apps were good, this night was all about the winners, which were:

Food Truck of the Year: The Great Pho King Food Truck (and the winner was a white dude, so we live in a post-racial world and that is definitely something to celebrate)

Food Writer of the Year: Taryn Jeffries – Phoenix Bites

Brewer of the Year: Derek “Doc” Osborne – Pedal Haus Brewery

Winemaker of the Year: Sam Pillsbury – Pillsbury Wine

Mixologist of the Year: Keifer Gilbert – Counter Intuitive + UnderTow

Restaurateur of the Year: S. Barrett Rinzler – Square One Concepts, Inc

Best Upcoming Chef: Rochelle Daniel – Fat Ox

Chef of the Year: Christopher Nicosia – Sassi

Lifetime Achievement: Chris Bianco – Pizzeria Bianco

Alex Simons Lifetime Achievement: John Fontana – Arizona Art Alliance

Congrats to all the winners!

Being in the media has its advantages. Case in point: getting to check out the menu and beers at SanTan Brewing Company in Chandler. For this event, SanTan wanted to highlight beer pairings and the normal menu without any specials, but also showed off the backroom where the brewing is actually done. Unlike other breweries I’ve been to, we were encouraged to bring a beer along for the tour, and that beer was the StrataBlaster IPA, part of the brewery’s pilot series and a great place to start.

SanTan founder Anthony Canecchia (a Four Peaks “defector”) stands between the tanks that started it all for SanTan, which were acquired from the DuClaw Brewing Company in Baltimore, Maryland. SanTan just celebrated its 10th anniversary, making it seem a bit old in the world of craft brewing, but the DuClaw tanks show that craft and micro brewing have been around long before the recent trend.

The MoonJuice IPA was paired with a salad, so whatever on that. But the IPA was tasty, being brewed not with the more well-known Cascade or Bavarian hops, but with Galaxy and Nelson-Sauvin hops originating from Australia and New Zealand, respectively. You could say it’s out of this world, but considering how grounded (in a good way) the IPA tasted, I’ll just say it’s from the other end of the world.

The HefeWeizen was paired with the Pesto Chicken Pizza. And while the pizza is not exactly unvegan-friendly – featuring mushrooms and spinach, I could appreciate the core of the pie – namely the crust and pesto sauce. I’m also not generally a hefe fan, but the Arizona heat seems to be pushing me in that direction. Despite looking the contrary, SanTan’s hefe is not filtered, but the cloudiness simply settles out in the brewing process, leaving a crisp, if not overly exciting hefe. Full disclosure, I haven’t had an exciting hefe in a very long time.

The Devil’s Ale is probably the best-known of SanTan’s beers, if for no other reason than the fact that the Arizona State Sun Devils make their home not far from Chandler and have pretty much adopted the beer as their own. It’s a very drinkable American Pale Ale and pairs so well with the carnitas enchiladas that I got to thinking they should rebrand it as Cerveza del Diablo to start getting it into all the local Mexican restaurants.

Ah, the Winter Warmer. It’s a beer that probably has no place in the Phoenix area due to the lack of a concept of winter, yet just felt right at SanTan. It was borne out of necessity due to the Great Hop Shortage of 2008, which was actually a thing, but has become a favorite of local SanTan drinkers, drawing a line annually when it taps. Like any good winter warmer, the beer evolves as it warms, leaving you with a very different final few sips than the first few – in a good way. The winter warmer is always served with the house made ginger snap cookies that some people like to throw into their beers for an added touch. But not me, I was perfectly happy to switch off between bites and sips, enjoying every last drop and morsel.

If you want to be the second (because we were the first) to try out the 2017 Winter Warmer, SanTan is hosting a vertical tasting on November 15th, giving you the chance to go back in time to 2014, 2015 and 2016 and taste the difference that a few seasons of winter warmers can make.

Or, you could show up on November 20th for the official tapping, but then you’d be the third group to try out the 2017 Winter Warmer and while getting the bronze medal might still get you on the Olympics Podium, you’ll always know you could have done better.

There’s something about state fairs that brings out the best America has to offer in terms of food creativity. Screw molecular gastronomy, I want to know what the latest in fried, bacon-wrapped and Flaming Hot Cheetos is in the world. And while the Arizona State Fair isn’t known as well as some others, there was still room for some interesting bites. One thing I didn’t bite, by the way, was a turkey leg, because, well, booooring.

Indian Fry Bread with Garlic, Mozzarella and Bacon

Indian Fry Bread is not something that existed where I grew up in Michigan. In the Southwest, it has a complicated and sad history, but it is remarkably similar to Elephant Ears. And this fry bread was flakey and not overly oily. That is, of course, until I topped it with garlic, mozzarella and bacon (because they were out of the maple required for maple bacon fry bread). It has an intense oregano hit to it as well, and despite the call to eat it like a taco, I found the pizza route to be a whole lot easier.

Flaming Hot Cheetos and Cheese Fries

I don’t know if it’s just the beautiful fluorescent red color or the actual flavor, but Flaming Hot Cheetos have become a remarkable new coating trend. These fries, which are also covered in nacho cheese, may not be the best use of Flaming Hot Cheetos, but I’d be lying if I didn’t say they delivered on their promise. Plus, unlike some other Flaming Hot Cheetos dishes I’ve seen, they at least had the composure to crush them up first.

Fried Cheesecake

Fried Oreos and Twinkies are in the rear view mirror. A newcomer to the fried dessert world (at least to me) is the fried cheesecake. The batter was pretty typical, the powdered sugar entirely unnecessary and the stick a failure (the cheesecake came right off). And while the first few bites were delicious and gooey, the thickest part was actual still kind of cold. Being cheesecake, this meant it was still delicious, but it meant that there was still much to do to ensure that Fried Cheesecake becomes a fair staple.

I find it important to note here that these were literally the only things I was capable of eating and even with that said, I couldn’t finish any of them. This is not because I couldn’t. And also not because I didn’t want to. But this was because I didn’t want to die. I mean I recognize that this is an inevitable fact of life, yet, the Arizona State Fair is not how I want to go down. Maybe at the Minnesota State Fair next year, though…

We can all agree that Phoenix is not LA. Good, now that that’s settled, Phoenix does appear to get an event or two on occasion, and the first since I made the big move was the 8th Annual Arizona Taco Festival, which converged at the Salt River Fields in Scottsdale. While the place is better-known for MLB spring training, the vast field was put to good use in hosting dozens of vendors pushing mostly tacos, but also drinks, desserts and the occasional t-shirt.

Although the RFID cashless money-loading system was great in theory, it actually put a damper on the experience from the get-go on an already unseasonably hot day because it forced people who had already purchased tickets to wait in an airport security-esque line to get wrist bands and load funds.

But aside from the temperature, that was all but forgotten upon entering the festival and setting to work to down some tacos. Here are the highlights:

Machaca Taco – Chico Malo

Look, I get that you are prepping tacos en masse and that you can’t exactly make food to order. That’s why I’m willing to see past the pickled onion and mushrooms in this taco, as well as the fact that seemed be a bit cooled off despite the billion degree weather. Because at the end of the day, this was an amazing homemade tortilla with perfectly braised machaca on top.

Barbacoa Taco – Creations by Sergio

Unlike most vendors, Creations by Sergio is not a restaurant, but a catering company. At the taco fest, Sergio went for quality over quantity, churning out little tacos with a punch of taste. The barbacoa taco was packed with flavor and amazingly tender meat. Plus, there was no fancy business with toppings, opting to go for the classic street style of onions and cilantro.

Pork Belly Taco – Crujiente Tacos

I’m not normally a fan of kimchi, and Crujiente Tacos did nothing to change my opinion in that regard. But I had to try their Pork Belly Taco despite the kimchi because it just sounded like a nice change of pace (and perhaps because I subconsciously miss all the Korean food in LA). The good news is that that kimchi really took a backseat to the pork belly in this taco, only rearing its ugly head occasionally and letting the pork, cilantro and sriracha aioli do their jobs.

Shredded Beef Taco – Dos Gringos

I was fully prepared to hate this place because of the name, but was pleasantly surprised by the taco, which I ordered without lettuce. The beef was solid, the cotija cheese was a nice touch and the splash of salsa verde tied it all together.

Frozen Key Lime Pie Bar – Pinnacle Peak Pie Company

In heat like this, anything cool and refreshing was a winner, but the Frozen Key Lime Pie Bar on a stick from Pinnacle Peak Pie Company (also lacking in brick and mortar location) was the ideal way to cool me off. With a thin, but mighty crust and flavorful filling, this got the desert job done.

While I couldn’t try everything (and wish I could have), it was obvious that there are some pretty amazing tacos out there for the eating in the Phoenix area. The majority of the vendors were local and even those that weren’t amazing were still pretty darn good. Tacos Huicho deserves its own special shot out for rolling out real tacos al pastor off of a spit, and even though the taco itself didn’t overly impress, I am sure if I paid their real location a visit I would have been mighty happy.

After all, what’s a good old fashioned food event for, if not to whet the tastebuds and leave you wanting to try more?

December 4th was a very momentous day. You may be wondering, just as my people do during Passover, “Why is this night different from all other nights?” Well, friendos, prepare to be shocked and possibly appalled, as I have done something completely reprehensible. I…ate…bacon. And I didn’t just eat bacon, I threw a BACON BASH — complete with a six course menu. Yes, if it existed, I would probably be going to Jewish Hell, which likely consists of strapping me to a chair and making me watch Joan Rivers television shows on repeat with a bagel, cream cheese and lox slightly out of reach. Hopefully this is a Hell that few will ever have to experience.

So how did this bacon bash nonsense come to be? Unvegan.com’s expert food blogger, Zacku, decided to buy me The Guide to Better Bacon from Zingerman Deli’s Ari Weinzweig (who will also probably be going to my special Jewish Hell). This was a difficult gift to accept for a few reasons. Growing up in a Jewish household and going to a Jewish day school for 8-years, it was a bit inappropriate to ever eat the sinful swine. As such, I was baconless as a child and continued avoiding the meat only because it was something I never did and felt no need to explore. However, after reading a bit of the book, realizing I don’t keep kosher and often break the Kosher rules of Kashrut (eating shellfish, eating milk and meat together, etc.), and talking about the forbidden meat with several Jews who enjoy it thoroughly, I decided to throw myself in…full force.

I’ll admit it, my roommate Danny and I are Food Network junkies. After watching countless hours of Iron Chef America and Top Chef, we like to fancy ourselves expert amateur chefs. Using our self-proclaimed expertise we decided the only proper way to explore bacon was to go crazy and try cooking dishes that were interesting and different. The results were the six following dishes:

Menuery:

1. Bacon Hash on Crostini
2. Bacon Wrapped Dates
3. Bacon Wrapped Plantains w/ Mustard Sauce
4. Bacon Wrapped Scallops w/ Brie Sauce and Fried Sage
5. Bacon Candy
6. Bacon Chocolate Chip Cookies

Strategery:

Planning this bash was no easy feat and required several days of preparation and an entire cooking schedule for party day. After reading the book I decided on three different bacons to import from around the country. These were Benton’s smoked country bacon, Nueske’s smoked bacon, and Broadbent’s hickory smoked bacon. They all had a certain flavor and history that made them most appealing for my initial foray into bacon. Mind you these aren’t your normal types of bacon, they are the elite bacons, procurable only through online retailers and select gourmet shops. With the menu set, the guest list confirmed at about 35 people (oy!), the cooking supplies bought, I set out to order 12.5 pounds of bacon.

Prepery:

Thursday was by far the most intensive cooking day as two sous chefs (Danny and Gaby) and I spent dedicated the hours of 7 PM to 2:30 AM to prepping the dates, plantains, hash, candy, and cookies. Friday was still intense, but much more focused (thanks to my nerdy schedule). Since everything had to be out at a certain time and different dishes had different cook times and preparations, it was a bit of a madhouse in the kitchen. Thankfully several people helped out, even sous chef Zacku helped when he wasn’t busy snapping photos or shmoozing the guests.

Resultery:

1. Bacon Hash – The hash turned out like nothing we had expected, it being a bit mushy/creamy and all. I initially intended it to be finely chopped and more bacon laden but alas, the recipe I had didn’t provide much in that area. Being the only dish with a vegetable in it also scared us. Despite our wariness toward the dish (I thought we might crash and burn before the party barely got started) it was definitely a favorite and several people told me they enjoyed it the best…phew!

2. Bacon Wrapped Dates – Gaby spent the entire evening removing pits from the dates, stuffing them with almond ricotta and wrapping them with bacon. The recipe called for 50 dates, by night’s end, there were at least 100. And readers, it was well needed, those dates got eaten so quickly you wouldn’t even know I took them out of the oven. People raved! In fact, one raver came up to me and told me if I wasn’t so busy at the moment they’d ravage me on the spot. Good thing that didn’t happen. First off, this was a dude, but more importantly it would have thrown my entire schedule off.

3. Bacon Wrapped Plantains – These guys were tricky to plate but they looked beautiful (pre-cooking). In the future I’d prefer the plantains to be a bit more ripe and the mustard to be a bit less intense, but they were fun to prepare. I’d recommend putting toothpicks through the wrapped plantains because the bacon will naturally curl off the plantain if not properly attached.

4. Bacon Wrapped Scallops – The scallops were by far the hardest thing to cook but it’s a dish that after you’ve done it once you’re a pro. I got 5 pounds of scallops from the Costco Seafood Road Show (which is a great place to get fresh seafood, trust me, I did lots of research). After pre-cooking the bacon, Danny wrapped the scallops and then I sauteed them to a golden brown sear. Danny made the brie sauce as I sauteed the sage for garnish. It was labor intensive but I think it was the best dish of the evening and the one which broke the most laws of kashrut — bacon (pig), scallops (shellfish), brie sauce (milk and meat), eating with your hands (just a general no-no) – all in one delicious hell-bent bite!

5. Bacon Candy – I kid you not, as soon as I put the bacon candy on the table it was gone. Good thing I didn’t serve everyone the first batch I made, which when Danny taste tested he immediately spit out. My only regrets are that I didn’t get a chance to try it and didn’t make enough. Note to all, do not burn the sugar! [As a side note, The Unvegan himself tried the bacon candy and loved it.]

Without a doubt, this was the most successful party I have ever thrown. People were so excited to come, sheerly on concept alone. So many compliments on the cooking and such a good group of people to share my bacon virginity with. I guess it’s true, people LOVE bacon and you know what, I agree, bacon is damn good. Be it crispy or chewy, I will forever be a fan. It’s even good in a martini! My friend Dave, a fellow bacon fanatic, had brought his own version of a Bacon Manhattan for everyone to try and it was

quite delicious (complete with bacon vodka!). I must say though, as much as bacon is awesome, it is damn greasy, you have no idea how much bacon grease I have sitting in my fridge (I’m gonna make me some bacon fat mayo, yay for heart attacks!). Lastly, if you ever attempt to throw such a bash I’d recommend keeping your doors and windows open as much as possible. My house still reeks of bacon and every time I walk down the stairs I hit a certain step and the smell hits me like a wrecking ball…a wrecking ball of deliciousness. It’s like there’s some layer of bacon air in my apartment that refuses to leave. I guess that’s the price we pay for loving bacon. It’s not a very high price and it could be a lot worse; I could be stuck in Jew Hell with Joan Rivers.