As I’ve said many times around these parts, I have very little need for seafood in my life. Thus, when a decision was made to pay a visit to Fishing with Dynamite in Manhattan Beach, I was relieved to find out that there were not only a few more terrestrial options, but that they looked so good that I had a hard time deciding.

I am as a fish lover as Jimmy John Shark.  But I wound up picking the Chilaquiles, which seemed to be a weekend brunch special. They included some pork shoulder, “red eye” salsa and scrambled eggs. These were all on “Diana’s” corn tortillas, which is a name that meant literally nothing to me. Yet, when the chilaquiles arrived I could see I was in for a treat (aside from a few stray onions). What I didn’t see, however, was a very tiny hair that my wife caught for me. We informed the waitress and the whole of the staff couldn’t have been nicer about the experience. Soon enough I was presented with a fresh bowl and dug in.

I should note that there were some tiny sliced jalapeños, cilantro and Mexican cheese as pleasant surprises to balance out the onions, which I had immediately removed. After that, these chilaquiles were incredible. Whoever Diana is, she knows how to make great tortilla chips that can withstand the weight of other delicious foods. Also, the pork shoulder was tender and flavorful without overwhelming everything else on the plate.

But wait, there’s more! Not only did FWD comp my breakfast nachos, they also offered a dessert on the house. I don’t always eat dessert, but when I do it’s almost always fruity. We chose the Key Lime Pie and didn’t regret this choice for one moment. Not only was it the prettiest Key Lime Pie I had ever seen, it had the right amount of balance between tart and sweet.

If the chilaquiles and key lime pie are any indication of how FWD does the rest of their land food, I could easily see myself walking through their doors again. Plus, everyone else loved the crap out of their seafood, so I guess you can’t go wrong.

I have a coworker who has a problem. The problem is she is a vegetarian. Gross, right? But not by choice. You see she is lacking the enzyme that breaks down meat in her body, so the simple act of eating meat makes her violently ill. It’s really the only acceptable form of vegetarianism, yet there is one place she will always eat meat, stomach be damned. That place is Cafe Rio. It’s a seemingly generic Mexican place that I have driven past many times in Manhattan Beach and brushed off. But little did I realize that Cafe Rio is huge in Utah. Like real huge. And it’s about to get even huger. There are currently 40-something locations, but they are planning an expansion on the scale of 100 restaurants. So when one opens across the street from you, remember you read about Cafe Rio on The Unvegan first. With my coworker in mind, we finally stopped at Cafe Rio to what all the meat fuss was about.

The place is set up in an assembly line format similar to Chipotle, but with a whole lot more options. Looking at the menu, apparently we made it pretty well-known that we had never been before. Suddenly, we were greeted by a guy working there who explained everything on the menu and offered us samples of any meat we wanted. And first he gave us a sample of their fresh-made tortillas to test out. It was delicious. The menu said their Sweet Pork Barbacoa was their specialty, so I tried some of that, their Chile Roasted Beef, their Fire Grilled Chicken and their Fire Grilled Steak. I was surprised to find my favorite to be their Chile Roasted Beef, which somehow beat out the Fire Grilled Steak due to some amazing flavoring. The barbacoa was my second favorite and another customer told us their secret: they cook it in Coke.

So I went with the Chile Roasted Beef burrito for $6.75. In it, I had them add pinto and black beans, lime-cilantro rice, cheese and hot salsa. Then, they made me an offer I couldn’t refuse. This was to have them splash more salsa on top of the burrito, top it with cheese, heat it up and make it a wet burrito. Um, yes please. But I wasn’t yet sure how hot the salsa was, so I had them douse my burrito in medium. It was a beautiful sight and I couldn’t wait to dig in.

And when I did, what I tasted was nothing short of amazing. Stomach aches? Weak. I would risk kidney stones to down a burrito such as this. The flavor of the beef is beyond comprehension, but all at once it’s semi-sweet, salty, juicy and meaty. The meat was definitely the centerpiece to the burrito and while the rice, beans and cheese were all nice, they had nothing on the meat. Which brings me to the salsa. I quickly discovered that the salsa within the burrito was not too spicy at all and could have easily been the salsa for the burrito to swim in. But, I’m glad I tried the medium salsa, because it was awesome. In fact, it was literally sweet. Coupled with the savoriness of the rice, beans and cheese, this salsa added a strange, yet delicious balance to the burrito. Next time, I’ll swap the salsas and get that sweetness on the inside.

And there will be a next time. And a time after that. And a time after that. Because Cafe Rio is awesome. From the amazing customer service (seriously, everyone there seemed to feel honored to work there) to the meat to the salsa, it was a burrito to remember. Move over, Chipotle.

For some breakfast in Manhattan Beach, I found myself at Uncle Bill’s Pancake House. Just like all breakfast joints in LA, the place as a huge line on weekends, but luckily my step-dad went a little early to put the name in, so by the time I got there, there was only a few minutes left to wait. We sat down at their outdoor area, which had a great view of the ocean.

The menu was huge, and to be truthful, I had a hard time figuring out what I wanted. Then, buried in the Waffles section, I found what had to be mine; the cheddar cheese and bacon waffle. I was filled with questions. Would the bacon and cheese be cooked into it or just on top? Could this be the new chicken and waffles? Or could this simply be the next step towards certain death? Either way, I was ready to find out.

The wait was pretty long and when the waffle finally came, I looked at it with a bit of disappointment. The waffle was kind of small and not the Belgian sort that I usually prefer. Plus, I quickly found that the bacon and cheese had been cooked into the waffle, but it didn’t look like much. Neither of those ingredients were really dispersed around the waffle, so it looked like this was kind of a bust. There was a big dollop of butter on top, and I set to spreading it out to find out if this waffle would be as disappointing as it looked. Once spread, I sliced away and started eating.

I found that the taste was definitely better than the look. The batter itself was pretty good and the cheese and bacon definitely added a unique taste, but it was still missing something. Ah yes, syrup. I grabbed that syrup and poured it onto the waffle pretty liberally. This proved to be a most wise decision. The syrup added the sweetness to balance out the saltiness that the bacon and cheddar had added and turned a decent waffle into a much better meal.

The bacon and cheddar waffle turned out to be less of a bust than I had expected. In fact, with the addition of the syrup, it was quite good. They really could have spread the ingredients out more and although I was happy, I knew that waffle wouldn’t be replacing the chicken and waffle anytime soon.

For a quick lunch idea to please a few people, the girlfriend and I decided to pick up food from Corner Bakery. Although the place is pretty well-known for its sandwiches, I was in no mood for such food. Instead, I found that they had a little selection of pasta dishes that looked like a good lunch to me. Of these, the Pesto Cavatappi looked best to me.

And just what is their Pesto Cavatappi? Well that’s a great question. It just so happens that this pasta dish is made with chicken, cavatappi pasta (fusilli?), a pesto cream sauce and some bread crumbs. It also comes with garlic bread. When the food was all ready, we grabbed our two bags and headed towards the door, but something seemed a bit fishy to me. Although we had ordered six items, there were only five in the bag, so before we reached the door, we checked ad found my pasta had been forgotten. Fortunately, we checked, because if not I would have been a very grumpy unvegan. As it was, the pasta was ready and just hadn’t been incorporated into the rest of the meal.

The garlic bread came wrapped in some tin foil and was pretty much paper-thin. It was pretty bland and I hoped that the pasta wouldn’t follow suit. Luckily it didn’t. The pasta actually had a pretty good flavor and the bread crumbs added a nice little crunch to the meal. The noodles themselves were just okay. I felt like I definitely could have cooked the pasta at home, but then again I had ordered it from Corner Bakery and not some gourmet Italian restaurant.

In all, Corner Bakery definitely satisfied me. It didn’t necessarily inspire me, but it could have been much worse.

Chili’s isn’t exactly known for being healthy, making it a perfect place to do some unvegan food reviewing, or so one would think. I went to the Manhattan Beach location with a group of six for lunch and we all decided to take advantage of their 2 for $20. In this nutso deal, two people get to share an appetizer, get their own entrees and get to share a dessert. Since we had six people, we all ordered that special and made sure to get different appetizers. Then the real fun began!

Although I couldn’t participate in all the appetizers, as they weren’t exactly unvegan friendly, I definitely ate my fair share. One was the Bottomless Tostada Chips. They came with both ranch and salsa for dipping. These chips were so greasy that some even became translucent. I’ve never really thought of grease as a bad thing, so this was totally cool with me. The other appetizer I ate was the Texas Cheese Fries. These fries were loaded with bacon, cheese and jalapenos, with some ranch for dipping. These things were awesome and had plenty of toppings to spread around all the fries.

Next came my main course. I ordered the Big Mouth Bites. These were four (appropriately named) mini burgers and had bacon, cheese and onion on them. I ordered them without the onions and the waitress had asked me if I wanted to get them without the onion strings on the side as well. I decided I was okay with the onions strings because I could pass them off to other people, while not eating them myself. This seemingly nice gesture was wasted when someone ordered onion strings for their appetizer. Nooooooooo! Oh well, the burgers tasted pretty good, but after downing so much in the appetizer phase, I couldn’t finish all four of them

Finally, the dessert came. We got the Chocolate Chip Paradise Pie. This thing was topped with ice cream and although I was only hungry enough for one bite, it was a pretty delicious bite. A few minutes later, the pain began. I am no stranger to grease or overeating, but something about my consumption at Chili’s put my body into a funk for the afternoon. I was hardly capable of performing menial tasks and all of my appetite for the rest of the day had been wiped clean.

Do I recommend Chili’s? That’s a great question. It certainly tasted good and was a good deal, but I still haven’t decided if that’s worth it for the way I felt like a worthless human being afterward. In the end, I would recommend them as your last meal of the day (or life) and if you don’t want to do anything but sleep after, but eating like I did in the middle of a work day is going to do some damage.

A not-so-well known sandwich place in Manhattan Beach goes by the name of Sloopy’s. I’m not sure how they decided on that name, but as long as it isn’t related to the state of Ohio, I’m cool with it. When you first walk into the place, you realize that you’re pretty much still outdoors, only there are walls around you. As for the ceiling, part is covered with a greenhouse-esque roof, but the rest is open to the world. Oh, the joy of living in a place where you don’t have to worry about rain. There is a menu stuck to one of the walls and a counter to order from. The sandwiches mostly involved a whole load of vegetables, so I ordered the one sandwich that looked like it would retain some substance after being ripped free of veggies: the Bar-B-Q Chicken Sandwich. For some reason, this sandwich was fried, but since I’m not exactly a health advocate, I accepted it for what it was.

I took a seat on a plastic chair at a table that was made from a slab cut from a tree. The thing was huge, and I’m pretty sure I could’ve counted over a hundred rings if I had the chance. The general ambiance of the place was pretty awesome and reminiscent of sitting in a garden. My name was eventually called and I went to grab my food.

I started eating and was a bit disappointed with what I tasted. The chicken was a generic chicken patty and the sauce was pretty plain to go along with it. In general, the sandwiches seemed pretty uninspired, but maybe I just chose the wrong sandwich. It would have been nice to see them offer a grilled chicken option for some sandwiches just to mix things up, but that is just wishful thinking.

With such a cool set-up, it would be great to see if the place can think up some better sandwiches to serve.

On Tuesdays, Hennessey’s Tavern in Manhattan Beach offers a great special: Two-for-one burgers. As I was running late for dinner on one of these lovely Tuesday nights, I asked my girlfriend to place an order for a Western Burger with cheese. The Western Burger comes with BBQ sauce and bacon. Since she knows my dietary restrictions, I assumed I didn’t need to specify that it should come without vegetables. When I arrived, it looked like she paid no heed to my needs. On my plate, along with my burger, was a pickle, lettuce, tomato and onions. I quickly checked to make sure no pickle juice had seeped its way into my bun. Lucky for my girlfriend, it had not.

I removed the vegetables from my plate, and with their sour memory slowly dissipating, I dug in to my burger. It wasn’t half bad, which was a good thing since it was only half-priced. The only trouble was that I found it to be a little small. When I finished, I was in need of more food. I eyed the remaining french fries on the table and laid waste to them.

In the end, the burger was a great deal, and didn’t do anything wrong. Unfortunately, there was nothing particularly amazing about it and if it weren’t two-for-one on Tuesdays, I would have no other reason to go.

For a little Chinese lunch, I headed to Szechwan in Manhattan Beach. It had come highly recommended, so I went expecting something pretty good. When we arrived, the restaurant was only about half-full, but we were still told to wait for a table. This seemed strange, especially when were standing around for five minutes looking like fools. Nonetheless we eventually took our seats and got the chance to check out the menu. The first thing I noticed that seemed off was that the food wasn’t quite Sichuan style (Sichuan being the way Szechwan is actually supposed to be spelled). Sichuan style is usually really spicy food and different from what we usually think of as “Chinese” food. Instead, the menu looked like any other Chinese restaurant.

As if to make up for the misnomer, Szechwan offered a pretty swanky-looking “Special Luncheon.” For $7.95, the special luncheon came with rice, soup, salad and an egg roll. The short list of options for the special luckily included one of my favorite dishes, Kung Pao Chicken. I also saw happily that my lunch buddy ordered Tangerine Chicken, another relatively veggie-free meal that I could try.

I ignored the salad that was brought to me in order to concentrate on the finer things in life. The egg drop soup wasn’t bad, but as a bonus little surprise, we were brought fried shrimp to go with our egg rolls. Before even finishing these items, the main meals were brought to the table. Both looked pretty great, except that there were green onions scattered about my Kung Pao Chicken. I tried my best to avoid them as I ate, but most surely some some slipped into my mouth and tainted my digestive process. Overall I was pretty happy with the chicken, it was actually pretty Chinese in style rather than a spicy

glazed chicken that so many places try to pass off as Kung Pao. It definitely could have used some more spice, especially since the restaurant was named Szechwan. I also tested out the Tangerine Chicken and was pretty impressed. It wasn’t too different from the typical orange chicken, but it was free from vegetables and pretty good.

In all, the Special Luncheon treated me pretty well. If I’m ever in the mood again for a cheap and filling lunch, I will definitely keep Szechwan in mind.

For lunch one day I headed out to Joey’s Smokin’ BBQ in Manhattan Beach. I had heard that Luke Walton of the Los Angeles Lakers was somehow tied to the restaurant, which actually made me a little worried, but I still wanted some BBQ. The place was pretty small and other than the Lakers championship pennant, there was really nothing else denoting that this was in any way related to Luke Walton. Besides, half the restaurants in LA have Lakers pennants (I later found out that Walton essentially wrote a big fat check to get the place started, but it pretty much runs without him). With this in mind, my fears of a generic BBQ restaurant were slightly assuaged.

The menu had a lot of good-looking unvegan foods, which is always a safe bet with BBQ. I skipped right over the sandwiches and my eyes made their way over to the straight-up meat. I ordered the 1/4 Lazy Smoked Chicken, which came with cornbread and a side. For my side, I chose mac and cheese, then waited outside to see what my order would produce.

When my food came, 1/4 chicken really seemed like an understatement. I’m pretty sure they gave me at least half of a chicken. I started digging in and was pretty impressed. The meat was juicy and had decent flavor. It definitely needed more BBQ sauce, which I had to grab from a pump inside. The mac and cheese was pretty good and the cornbread was nice and moist.

Unfortunately, there was no way I could tackle all that chicken in one sitting. I only hoped that it would retain its juiciness after spending some time in my fridge and microwave.

Despite my animosity towards the Lakers, I have to admit Joey’s had some pretty damn good BBQ.

For a fancy Sunday lunch, I went out to Rock’n Fish in Manhattan Beach at the request of my favorite girlfriend. The name makes it sound like some sort of gimmicky musically inclined restaurant. It’s actually nothing of the sort, and more of a fancy little place.

I’ve never been the biggest fan of consuming fish before dinner time, so I looked more closely at the cow and chicken options. The place had some good unvegan choices, but I finally settled on the Hibachi Teriyaki Chicken, which didn’t have a vegetable in sight. It also included two sides, so I got shoestring fries and the spicy mac ‘n cheese.

When my chicken came, I was a little disturbed that only one half of it had skin. The other half looked almost naked in comparison. Maybe they wanted me to do a little compare and contrast…

I cut off a piece of the chicken and was pretty disappointed. It tasted kind of burnt and was pretty dry. The teriyaki-ish sauce on the side helped out a little bit, but the chicken really seemed almost as if it had never been marinated in the first place. On the other hand, the sides were awesome. The mac ‘n cheese wasn’t especially spicy, but it was plenty cheesy and the shoestring fries were as good as can be expected.

I think I may have made a bad choice by ordering chicken at a fish restaurant, however it was under a section entitled “American Regional Specialties,” which tells you they should be good at cooking it. Oh well, at least I could take solace in my sides.