The Unvegan

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10 Years of Unvegan
A Quick Bite at Burrito Express
Serendipity at Northern Waters Smokehaus
Twerks and Burritos at Casa Amigos

‘Mexican’

Old Timey Mexican at El Cholo

The biggest burrito in the world.
The biggest burrito in the world.

El Cholo has been part of LA since Prohibition, which is no small feat in a city that flocks to trends like they cure cancer.

It took me a while, but I finally made it to the original El Cholo in Koreatown.

I had a difficult time deciding what to get from the menu. The prices were a bit steep, but I figured it was worth it to try an LA classic. In a cool little nod to their history, on each menu item they list the year that it became part of their menu, I finally decided on the great barometer for Mexican food, the burrito. At El Cholo, they call it the Burrito Dorado, which they began serving in 1977, making it seven years older than me. According to the menu, it’s composed of chili con carne, beans, rice, cheddar cheese, tomato sauce, sour cream and guacamole. I hoped none of these ingredients would be older than me.

Attacked by Lettuce at Don Antonio’s

There is an overwhelming amount of green on that plate.
There is an overwhelming amount of green on that plate.

By recommendation, I went to Don Antonio’s in West LA for some nicer Mexican food. Of the possible unvegan burritos, I decided on the Chimichanga, which was simply beans cheese and my choice of meat. I went with beef. To make sure there wouldn’t be any vegetables inside, I asked the waiter, who told me there weren’t, but that there was guacamole and sour cream on the side. While waiting, I snacked on their chips and salsa, which were really good and boded well for my forthcoming meal.

When my food came, he was right and there weren’t any vegetables in my chimichanga, instead, I was dealt something almost as bad. It arrived on a bed of lettuce, which not only intermingled with my guacamole, but also stuck to the crusty shell of my chimichanga.

The Inexplicable Popularity of Tito’s Tacos

Mmm food in a box.
Mmm food in a box.

When I first moved to LA, local Los Angelinos were really jealous when they discovered my proximity to Tito’s Tacos in Culver City. Every time I drove by, there was a huge line that really kept me away. I figured I didn’t need to wait in a long line when Cinco de Mayo was right next door.

Eventually I decided to to brave the long line and see what they really had to offer. The first thing I noticed was their wall menu, which looked straight from from the ’70s. The prices also looked like they hadn’t been updated since the ’70s, with tacos under $2 and burritos hovering between $3 and $4. There was a catch, though, cheese wasn’t included. Anyone hoping for cheese had to drop an extra 50 cents. To me, this was tantamount to charging extra for cheese on a pizza. Look, I know that cheese might not typically be found on a taco in Mexico, but in America we expect cheese on our Mexican food. Needless to say, I was quite disappointed to fork over an extra dollar for cheese on my beef and bean burrito and my taco without lettuce. Maybe this was part of why people loved Tito’s so much?

Free Grilled Chicken War at El Pollo Loco

It doesn't look like much, but free goes a long way.
It doesn’t look like much, but free goes a long way.

Not to be outdone by the free grilled chicken giveaway at KFC, El Pollo Loco decided they were going to give away some free chicken of their own on April 28th. Rather than simply giving away a free drumstick, El Pollo Loco jumped to the next level by giving away a drummie, a thigh, two tortillas and, of course, salsa from the salsa bar was included. There was a catch, however, that you had to say “I wanna taste the fire” when you ordered. Being my shameless self, I had no trouble proclaiming my desire for fire when I reached the front of the long line.

Within a few minutes, I had received my food. They were working like an assembly line in the back of that restaurant, giving them the edge on KFC for timeliness.

A Late-Night Snack at Del Taco

Looks clean to me.
Looks clean to me.

While never my first choice in late-night food, Del Taco is sometimes just too damn convenient to go anywhere else.

Despite the obvious Mexican origins of it’s name, Del Taco eschews the Mexican fast food norm by tossing in a few American favorites, like fries and burgers.

These additions definitely help cater to the late-night crowd like me, but they also take away a bit of Del Taco’s identity. When I go to a Taco Bell, I know I’m getting Mexican food, but when I go to Del Taco, I can’t be sure of what sort of food I’ll be ordering until I get there.

I found that a good combo involves a selection from their value menu.

Almost Getting What I Want at The Grind Cafe

Those two just look so good together.
Those two just look so good together.

On my last day in San Francisco, I headed to The Grind Cafe before hitting the road.

The menu looked pretty good. Despite a lot of the dishes having vegetables, the combinations with the vegetables removed looked like they would have been pretty enjoyable. One dish in particular looked extra good to me, though, the Corned Beef Hash. I have always found that dish to have quite the name and a nice little mix of ingredients. I went to the counter to order, only to be told that they were all out of it. Disappointed, I checked the menu again and ordered the Breakfast Burrito, which came with eggs, bacon, cheddar, avocado, salsa and sour cream. It was too early and I had too many hours on the road to be eating sour cream, so I ordered it without. It also came with hash browns on the side.

Paying Too Much at La Barca (CLOSED)

Ewww salad.
Ewww salad.

I should’ve known better, but it really wasn’t up to me. Living in SoCal has probably spoiled me in terms of Mexican food, but I was in San Francisco with some people from Arizona, and I assumed they knew Mexican better than me. They suggested La Barca, so we went.

We had some margaritas and chips to start off the night, which were actually pretty good, but then I opened up the menu and was shocked to see the prices. $10.50 for a burrito? In San Francisco?! Whack!

In the end, however, I ended up choosing that burrito, for it seemed to be one of the most unvegan options. Of the meat choices, I picked Chili Colorado Beef, which sounded impressive, although it is apparently neither from Chile nor Colorado

Kogi BBQ Revisited at the Alibi Room

Still one good-looking burrito
Still one good-looking burrito

A while back, many of you may recall, I visited the Kogi BBQ taco truck at The Brig. I guess this was before they got big, because I ordered in two minutes and only waited another two to get the food. Soon after, I began hearing stories about how people would be waiting in line for 45 minutes to get in on that Kogi and there was even an article written about them in the New York Times! In response, they added a second truck, and finally expanded into the kitchen at the Alibi Room.

Eager for another piece of that Kogi, I went to the Alibi Room to see the new offerings. Everything was slightly more expensive, as I suspected it would be. In addition, Kogi expanded their menu to include such unvegan no-nos as kimchee quesadillas and the vegan sesame leaf taco platter. I was mildly intrigued by some of the new unvegan offerings like the sliders, but in the end settled on the burrito.

When Vegetables Attack: Mexican Salad

Los Simpsons sing such truth.*

On a recent sojourn down to Cancun, Mexico, I decided to be a little adventurous. Some may say foolish, but I prefer adventurous. For days, I had spent my time at the resort happily eating meats, cheeses and fruits. I was in bliss, and for my final meal, I sat down to order something fancy. In doing so, I committed a great sin against my fellow unvegans. It is a moment I scarcely remember, and I almost feel as if some sort of vegetable demon took possession of my body and held on just long enough to force me to spout the words required to ask for a salad to accompany my utterly meaty main course.

No sooner than an hour after my meal concluded, I found myself pacing around my hotel room, pondering the volatile chemical reactions occurring deep within the confines of my belly. I headed to the bathroom, to find that Montezuma had decided to exact his revenge upon me through an intense case of the runs. When I had completed my initial bowel cleansing, I went back into my room to consider whether the recent movement was due to the salad. As if to answer, a wave of nausea swept over me and carried me into the bathroom for a vomit full of salad. As the lettuce left me, I also felt as if I was exorcising myself of the vegetable demon. I had made a most terrible mistake and was paying for it tenfold. It is a mistake I never plan to make again.

*Thanks to my buddy and one-time euchre partner over at the protean pantry for reintroducing me to such a marvelous clip. I took the liberty of further researching and came upon a most glorious Spanish rendition of the clip.

Braving the Recession at Rubio’s

Maybe the recession ain't so bad...
Maybe the recession ain’t so bad…

In a world crumbling under the pressure of mounting recession and potential depression, deals can be found aplenty. Well, that is assuming you still have enough money to eat. When I went to Rubio’s in Marina Del Rey, they were offering up a little recession combo that I decided to take advantage of. This was two street tacos, chips, beans and a 20 oz. drink for only $5.

The choice of taco innards was up to me, so I got one with steak and one with chicken. They came with guacamole and an unfortunate mix of onions and cilantro. I would have liked the cilantro, but it was all or nothing and I couldn’t risk having onions on my tacos.