State Fairs are often an afterthought. A relic of times past when most of us lived in rural areas and guessing the weight of a pumpkin was the best entertainment of the month. They offer variations on the same rides, foods and entertainment that you find at your local Memorial Day Carnival or County Fair and, I mean, how many people even go to those? But the Minnesota State Fair is so far from an afterthought that it seems to be on the minds of Minnesotans for the 50 weeks of the year in which it is not in operation. Plans are made, new foods are devised and longed after; then, just like that, it’s over again. This year, however, the Unvegan paid a visit to see how it would all stack up.

Swedish Meatball Smorgas – The Blue Barn

It’s not all about gluttony. Sometimes it’s just about doing something no one ever thought of. Like putting Swedish meatballs on a roll, pouring white gravy all over them and then topping them with lingonberry jam and dill pickles. I was smart enough to order without the pickles and it paid off in pure sweet, salty and savory deliciousness.

Mangonada Shave Ice – Minnesnowii Shave Ice

You wouldn’t think Minnesotans would be fans of shave ice since they live among it for so much of the year. Yet, the Mangonada is real and it is fascinating. Packed with mango syrup, drizzles of chamoy sauce, popping boba (for some inexplicably genius reason), spicy tajin powder and a tamarind straw (for some inexplicably strange reason). The straw was useless, but the rest of this was somehow light, refreshing, hearty and spicy at once. And with all that, it just somehow worked.

Giant Juicy Turkey Sandwich – Turkey To Go

Being a first timer, I couldn’t just go with new stuff. And, frankly, I wasn’t too excited about getting a turkey sandwich. But, my buddy told me it was well worth it and, well, it sure was. I added bacon and a sweet glaze to mine and it was unbelievably juicy for what’s generally the driest fowl of all. As I drove past many a wild turkey in the Northwoods, all I could think about was how juicy they could be in sandwich form.

Blu – Grain Belt

I love blueberries and I love beer. It makes sense that I would like a blueberry beer, right? Wrong. It seems to be that the special beers at the Minnesota State Fair are pretty much all sweet, but this took that sweetness way beyond balance and into juice territory. Good thing I had all kinds of savory and salty foods to counter that sweetness (and don’t worry, I still drank the whole damn thing).

Gizmo – Carl’s

The Gizmo is another classic, and yet it is churned out by pretty much the most nondescript cart in the whole fair. Sometimes you just know you’re good and it’s hard to go bad when you are an Italian roll filled with ground beef, Italian sausage, red sauce and a layer of melted mozzarella cheese to seal all of the goodness in.

Sweet Greek Cheese Puffs – Dino’s Gyros

Ricotta and Feta. Flaky phyllo dough. Powdered sugar. More than a drizzle of honey. I am a many who loves his sweet and salty combos and these Sweet Greek Cheese Puffs did more than satisfy that craving. It may have gotten a but too sweet toward the end when the honey congregated in the corner with the remaining puff, but these were a treat.

Zesty PB&J Sausage – Gass Station Grill

It doesn’t sound right. Nope, not at all. But if you’ve been paying attention to burger places lately, mixing peanut butter, jelly and some sort of spiciness is all the rage. It’s only natural that it made its way into a tube steak. While each bite may have been somewhat inconsistent, there is no doubt that this works. If they can get that peanut buttery and jelly-y goodness more evenly distributed, this sausage could take over the world.

Turducken Sausage – Giggles’ Campfire Grill

Not all sausages are created equal. Or is it something about the size of the sausage versus what you do with it? Regardless, the Turducken sausage didn’t just lose the battle of the sausages, it barely seemed to fight. It was too tightly packed, the grind seemed off and really all I could taste was the turkey, with maybe a touch of chicken. Perhaps in years past this may have flown, but in the world of the Zesty PB&J sausage you have to be oh so much better than this.

Passion Fruit Pilsner – Bent Paddle Brewing

Duluth is a cool city. And it sent a pretty cool beer down to the state fair. It’s not a sour per se, but does it’s best to harness the tartness of passion fruit and churns out a pretty unique pilsner that is not too sweet and not too sour. It’s not just right either, but it’s good enough to make the drinking enjoyable.

Bacon-Wrapped Pork Belly – The Hangar

You don’t go to the state fair looking to eat a balanced meal. But nowhere is that lack of balance more exemplified than in this pork on pork action on a stick. It was so unbelievably juicy, smokey and salty forcing the use of dozens of napkins lest your face runneth with juices that would later congeal into something resembling a wax museum. While this may be perfection in meat form, the critic in me did wish there was some sort of a sweet and acidic dipping sauce like apple cider vinaigrette or a cherry reduction to accompany this meaty concoction. Despite that, the universe seemed to pause in recognition of the beauty of each bite of this masterpiece.

Fried Cheese Curds – Everywhere

Some day I’d like to pull an Andrew Zimmern and try every cheese curd purveyor at the fair. Until that day, I am a satisfied man as long as the place knows to stick with the white variety of cheddar, to fry them just right amount of time to maintain the squeakiness and to only lightly batter them lest the batter overpower the cheese. It’s not the tallest order, but it’s not the easiest one to fulfill either. Plus, when you’re coming from Arizona all cheese curds are good cheese curds.

Whelp. That’s a wrap. The pilgrimage is complete. Now if only I can figure out a way to make this an annual thing…or at least get to Iowa somehow…

We can all agree that Phoenix is not LA. Good, now that that’s settled, Phoenix does appear to get an event or two on occasion, and the first since I made the big move was the 8th Annual Arizona Taco Festival, which converged at the Salt River Fields in Scottsdale. While the place is better-known for MLB spring training, the vast field was put to good use in hosting dozens of vendors pushing mostly tacos, but also drinks, desserts and the occasional t-shirt.

Although the RFID cashless money-loading system was great in theory, it actually put a damper on the experience from the get-go on an already unseasonably hot day because it forced people who had already purchased tickets to wait in an airport security-esque line to get wrist bands and load funds.

But aside from the temperature, that was all but forgotten upon entering the festival and setting to work to down some tacos. Here are the highlights:

Machaca Taco – Chico Malo

Look, I get that you are prepping tacos en masse and that you can’t exactly make food to order. That’s why I’m willing to see past the pickled onion and mushrooms in this taco, as well as the fact that seemed be a bit cooled off despite the billion degree weather. Because at the end of the day, this was an amazing homemade tortilla with perfectly braised machaca on top.

Barbacoa Taco – Creations by Sergio

Unlike most vendors, Creations by Sergio is not a restaurant, but a catering company. At the taco fest, Sergio went for quality over quantity, churning out little tacos with a punch of taste. The barbacoa taco was packed with flavor and amazingly tender meat. Plus, there was no fancy business with toppings, opting to go for the classic street style of onions and cilantro.

Pork Belly Taco – Crujiente Tacos

I’m not normally a fan of kimchi, and Crujiente Tacos did nothing to change my opinion in that regard. But I had to try their Pork Belly Taco despite the kimchi because it just sounded like a nice change of pace (and perhaps because I subconsciously miss all the Korean food in LA). The good news is that that kimchi really took a backseat to the pork belly in this taco, only rearing its ugly head occasionally and letting the pork, cilantro and sriracha aioli do their jobs.

Shredded Beef Taco – Dos Gringos

I was fully prepared to hate this place because of the name, but was pleasantly surprised by the taco, which I ordered without lettuce. The beef was solid, the cotija cheese was a nice touch and the splash of salsa verde tied it all together.

Frozen Key Lime Pie Bar – Pinnacle Peak Pie Company

In heat like this, anything cool and refreshing was a winner, but the Frozen Key Lime Pie Bar on a stick from Pinnacle Peak Pie Company (also lacking in brick and mortar location) was the ideal way to cool me off. With a thin, but mighty crust and flavorful filling, this got the desert job done.

While I couldn’t try everything (and wish I could have), it was obvious that there are some pretty amazing tacos out there for the eating in the Phoenix area. The majority of the vendors were local and even those that weren’t amazing were still pretty darn good. Tacos Huicho deserves its own special shot out for rolling out real tacos al pastor off of a spit, and even though the taco itself didn’t overly impress, I am sure if I paid their real location a visit I would have been mighty happy.

After all, what’s a good old fashioned food event for, if not to whet the tastebuds and leave you wanting to try more?

Is there anything better in the world for two brothers to do than to build a brewery? Well, that’s what one pair of brothers thought (allegedly) when they put together Two Brothers Brewery, a microbrewery with locations mostly around the Chicago area, but also one in Scottsdale because Chicago places seem to feel welcome here.

There was plenty of beer to choose from, and, like all good breweries, there was a menu flush with burgers, pizzas and for some reason even a schwarma plate. I focused on the burgers, as I tend to do in such places, and found the Pork Belly BBQ Burger to be up my alley. It consisted of a Niman Ranch patty, fried pork belly, house BBQ sauce and cheddar cheese. No more, no less. And I chose the truffle parmesan fries for my side because that’s how I roll.

When the burger arrived, it delivered on the ingredients, but felt like it had been hastily cobbled together. Not like in a cool, artisan way, but in a way that implied a degree of nonchalance. Did it taste good? Sure. I mean, it’s really hard to mess up this combination and the only thing missing was a little more BBQ sauce to keep things moist because the pork belly was fried pretty hard. Plus, the fries were pretty killer.

My overwhelming feeling as I polished off this burger was that it had done just enough. No more. No less. That’s really just fine when you’re going out for drinks and need something to eat. But when you’re going out to eat, and just want to have a drink with that meal it can be a bit underwhelming. But, since Two Brothers is a brewery first and foremost, I think I know what they had in mind.

What’s in a name? Apparently for The El Felix in Alpharetta, Georgia it’s redundancy. While I cannot explain why it’s The El Felix and not simply El Felix, I can say that this nuevo Mexican restaurant seems to be made for unvegans like me. I had a tough time picking from all the great-looking meaty options, but when the waiter made a strong sell for the Tacos Al Pastor.

But these weren’t like the al pastor that I am used to in LA. Instead, these were made from crisp, slowly cooked pork belly and pineapple. They were pretty good, with some nice fatty flavor and solid caramelization, but the big winner here was the tortillas. These were made in-house and had just the right thickness and chewiness that one could ask for in a tortilla. Plus, they had spent just enough time on the griddle to get some brown crispiness to them.

The pork belly was good, even if a little oversold by the waiter, but the tortillas were really what made this meal. Next time the waiter may want to sell on those, but I can’t complain.

Breweries are the best, right? And they typically have awesome food. That’s why I was pretty excited to find out Phoenix was getting a new brewery called Helio Basin and tried to make my way there at the first opportunity. Plus, it didn’t hurt that I had a connection at the place and wanted to show some support.

Like any good drinker, I started out by ordering a flight of all the beers on tap. There were seven in total and they came served on a piece of wood shaped like the state of Arizona, so you know, like lumpy. I drank my way through the beers and decided that the Citrus Paradisi was the best. It was a hoppy blonde and who doesn’t like those?

I wasn’t terribly hungry and found the menu to be a bit short for a brewery. It centered around “tortillas,” which were really just tacos by another name. I chose the pork belly variety, which had the fewest veggies (read: none) and include pistachio and pine nut mole, roasted corn, cotija and cilantro. The pork belly was cooked perfectly and I definitely appreciated the other taco innards, which enhanced the flavor without taking over.

I must say, though, that I would have liked a more robust menu. I get that Phoenix is the Southwest and tacos are basically required, but a little something more would have really won the place over for me. As it was, they put together some good beer and food, so I’m sure Helio Basin will become a mainstay in Phoenix.

All you can eat Korean BBQ is one of the greatest things (not just food things) ever created. It’s meaty, it’s flamey and it is interactive-y. Yet, not all KBBQ spots are created equally, with some charging a bit more than others. Oo Kook in Koreatown is one of those places that goes beyond the $20 mark, but I was hoping it would be worth it.

The menu was full of options ranging from tongue to baby octopus to three different kinds of pork belly. Three! Of course, the classics were there as well, like brisket, short rib and “marinated” thin sliced beef, also known as bulgogi. We did our best to try out every “normal” meat and even threw in tongue for good measure.

By far, the best of all the meats was the Black Angus Beef Marinated Short Rib. And this was not an easy battle to win. After all, Oo Kook’s bulgogi was made with wagyu beef and was probably the best I have ever had. Yet, the nice marbling, perfect marinating and almost melt-in-your-mouthness of the short ribs were too tough to beat. I was also a huge fan of the two types of flavored pork belly – one was miso and the other wine.

On the other end of the spectrum, the tongue was just whatever and the Black Angus Hanging Tender, which was some sort of beef was weirdly tough and just plain lacking in flavor compared to all the delicious possibilities.

While it is a noble thing to try out a number of different meats, if I were to return to Oo Kook I could easily eat four or five only and still leave a very happy man. Oh, and they did serve up a variety of pickles and other mini dishes like the rice wrapper and stuff, but as you might expect I really had no need to mess with them.

It was obvious that Oo Kook’s higher price tag translated to higher quality (plus, the servers are almost always there to help you flip the meat) and I wouldn’t hesitate to make a return visit the next time I’m looking to eat my weight in meat.