‘Santa Barbara’
Sometimes I feel like my wife searches the interwebs for places to get bone marrow. Or at least that’s what I assumed when she recommended we go to The Lark in Santa Barbara. Of course, bone marrow was a prominent part of the menu. Fortunately, I am also a fan of that stuff and the rest of the menu seemed intriguing as well.
As with most breakfast places in Southern California, there has to be some sort of Mexican influence. Dawn Patrol in Santa Barbara is no different. So as I stood in line waiting to place my order, I had plenty of time to think about what to get. Like many breakfasts before, I couldn’t take my eyes off of the Breakfast Burrito.
In Santa Barbara there’s a spot called the Public Market. It’s kind of like an upscale food court, but most importantly there is a bar that attracts Michigan fans called The Garden. It’s not your typical sports bar, and is a sort of attempt to be a beer or wine garden. Whatever the case, I was eager for some beer and a burger.
Walking into Brophy Bros. in Santa Barbara, based on the name, I expected some sort of frat house with waiters walking around with sweaters tied around their shoulders and referring to everyone as “Bro,” “Brah,” and “Brosef.” Instead, I found a seafood restaurant. Not sure which I would have preferred, as I seem to be finding myself at seafood places quite often lately, and I am not enjoying the pattern. Nonetheless, I rapidly found the most unhealthy dish on the menu, Fish ‘n’ Chips.
After a long day of drinking in Santa Barbara, I stumbled upon a little hole in the wall joint called Mad Dogs. Hot dogs were their specialty, which was perfect for me to soak up the remains of the day.
They had a variety of hot dog choices to please anyone, and I decided to do a little custom thing. I ordered a bacon and cheese dog with a side of cheese fries. Apparently I am not afraid of destroying my arteries in one sitting.
The forest looks like a starving man’s dreamland; a virtual cornucopia of food. Greenery and growth is everywhere. It is so alive, and seemingly so edible. Sure, there are plants in the forest that can be eaten and potentially digested, but the taste alone should be enough to drive anyone away.
Now there is even more cause to fear wild plants: death. According to the AP, a man recently passed away after eating wild (amanita ocreata) mushrooms in Santa Barbara.
While tragic, this just goes to show that vegetables are out to kill. To make matters worse, he had picked the mushrooms so he could eat them with a steak. This certainly ruined what could have been a perfectly good (and safe) meal.
In the wild, as in the real world, vegetables must be considered a dangerous threat. How many more lives do they have to take before we all join together and say “Enough!”?
Hidden away in the city of Buellton in Santa Barbara County is popular little restaurant called The Hitching Post II. This, of course, is the sequel to The Hitching Post I. I don’t know when restaurants started getting sequels, but I hoped this sequel was more along the lines of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze than Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights.
They claim to have the world’s best BBQ, which I had my doubts about, having eaten BBQ in Kansas City. Nonetheless, I ordered the 10 oz. Prime Top Sirloin Steak, cooked medium, which is from Cornfed Midwestern Beef (does this make the meat eerily similar to corned beef?). The steak came with a choice of rice pilaf, mashed potatoes and french fries. I went with the fries because of of the winos from nearby Los Olivos recommended them. Next was the tricky part, because it also came with a choice of soup, salad and shrimp cocktail (I got to choose two).