I should’ve known better, but it really wasn’t up to me. Living in SoCal has probably spoiled me in terms of Mexican food, but I was in San Francisco with some people from Arizona, and I assumed they knew Mexican better than me. They suggested La Barca, so we went.
We had some margaritas and chips to start off the night, which were actually pretty good, but then I opened up the menu and was shocked to see the prices. $10.50 for a burrito? In San Francisco?! Whack!
In the end, however, I ended up choosing that burrito, for it seemed to be one of the most unvegan options. Of the meat choices, I picked Chili Colorado Beef, which sounded impressive, although it is apparently neither from Chile nor Colorado…
A while back, many of you may recall, I visited the Kogi BBQ taco truck at The Brig. I guess this was before they got big, because I ordered in two minutes and only waited another two to get the food. Soon after, I began hearing stories about how people would be waiting in line for 45 minutes to get in on that Kogi and there was even an article written about them in the New York Times! In response, they added a second truck, and finally expanded into the kitchen at the Alibi Room.
Eager for another piece of that Kogi, I went to the Alibi Room to see the new offerings. Everything was slightly more expensive, as I suspected it would be. In addition, Kogi expanded their menu to include such unvegan no-nos as kimchee quesadillas and the vegan sesame leaf taco platter. I was mildly intrigued by some of the new unvegan offerings like the sliders, but in the end settled on the burrito.
On a recent sojourn down to Cancun, Mexico, I decided to be a little adventurous. Some may say foolish, but I prefer adventurous. For days, I had spent my time at the resort happily eating meats, cheeses and fruits. I was in bliss, and for my final meal, I sat down to order something fancy. In doing so, I committed a great sin against my fellow unvegans. It is a moment I scarcely remember, and I almost feel as if some sort of vegetable demon took possession of my body and held on just long enough to force me to spout the words required to ask for a salad to accompany my utterly meaty main course.
No sooner than an hour after my meal concluded, I found myself pacing around my hotel room, pondering the volatile chemical reactions occurring deep within the confines of my belly. I headed to the bathroom, to find that Montezuma had decided to exact his revenge upon me through an intense case of the runs. When I had completed my initial bowel cleansing, I went back into my room to consider whether the recent movement was due to the salad. As if to answer, a wave of nausea swept over me and carried me into the bathroom for a vomit full of salad. As the lettuce left me, I also felt as if I was exorcising myself of the vegetable demon. I had made a most terrible mistake and was paying for it tenfold. It is a mistake I never plan to make again.
*Thanks to my buddy and one-time euchre partner over at the protean pantry for reintroducing me to such a marvelous clip. I took the liberty of further researching and came upon a most glorious Spanish rendition of the clip.
In a world crumbling under the pressure of mounting recession and potential depression, deals can be found aplenty. Well, that is assuming you still have enough money to eat. When I went to Rubio’s in Marina Del Rey, they were offering up a little recession combo that I decided to take advantage of. This was two street tacos, chips, beans and a 20 oz. drink for only $5.
The choice of taco innards was up to me, so I got one with steak and one with chicken. They came with guacamole and an unfortunate mix of onions and cilantro. I would have liked the cilantro, but it was all or nothing and I couldn’t risk having onions on my tacos.
On a late-night drive back from a party, the glowing fluorescence of Lucy’s Drive In lured me inside.
While standing in line, I had plenty of time to check out the menu on the wall. I was temporarily distracted by the burgers on the menu, which I decided were only there so they could put “American Food” on their sign. Brushing this distraction aside, I chose the chicken taquitos with guacamole platter. The menu said it came with rice and beans, but I asked the ingredients of the taquitos to ensure that I wouldn’t end up with any unfortunate vegetables inside. The woman told me there weren’t any, so I felt confident as I waited for my grub.
The heart of fast food is its ability to satisfy (at least in the short term) while remaining at impossibly cheap prices. These two essential elements are really quite reliant upon each other, because it is hard to achieve gastro-satisfaction if you think you are paying too much.
On my trip to El Pollo Loco in El Segundo, I had high expectations. Being a fan of Taco Bell, I have always been told to try it. When I arrived, the menu completely confused me. I couldn’t figure out what was what except for the value menu. Having been around since 1975, you would think they could have figured out a way to just show a list of the food they offer, but no. Instead, I stood silent for a long time at a loss of what to order.
To this little unvegan, few things are more incredible than a buffet. Where else can a man choose from such a vast collection of meat products? Whoa, are there vegetables in the general vicinity of this chicken dish? Too bad, I guess I’ll just move on to the next one. A buffet is a place of choice and almost literally a microcosm of the fulfillment of the American Dream.
As the dream goes, there is no greater collection of delicious buffets than in Las Vegas. It’s no stretch to think of Vegas as the buffet Mecca, and the Kaaba in this Mecca must surely be Rio’s Carnival World Buffet.
When I was seated, I didn’t even take the time to sit down, as I just threw my jacket on my seat to begin my feast.
Round 1: Fried chicken, mashed potatoes, macaroni and cheese and a meatball.
Round 1
There was no need to take it slowly. It is a fact that it takes twenty minutes for the mind to realize that the stomach is full, so I had to get as much food as I could before my crazy stomach decided it was full. Since I had been drinking all day, I went straight for the fried food. The fried chicken was a good heavy hitter to coat my stomach. The mashed potatoes were great as a side, featuring a healthy amount of butter and even some cheese. The single meatball stood strong for a loner, while the only disappointment was the mac and cheese, which needed a lot of salt and loving.
When eating at a taco truck, I am typically drunk and there are few demands that have to be met. One of those demands is that my food have no vegetables, the other is that the food is edible. When I recently ventured out to the Taco Truck at Venice and Centinela, I was in for a rude surprise.
I stumbled up to the window to place my order. When I inquired about the ingredients in the chicken quesadilla, I was told that there were no vegetables. Then, I asked about the carne asada taco, which I was told came with onions. I asked the lady for no onions, and to make it offensively clear, I also said, “no cebollas” (cebolla being the spanish word for onion).
Taco Tuesday came around again and I found myself at a divey little Mexican restaurant in El Segundo, called El Tarasco.
Hoping to find a great taco deal like $5 all-you-can-eat or $1 tacos, I was instead shown a menu that listed all the daily combos. Tuesday’s special was three tacos with chicken, ground beef, beans or chunky beef with medium drink. It’s seemingly a good deal until you look at the price: $6.50! These had better be damn good tacos. In an attempt to get variety, I ordered one chicken, one ground beef and one chunky beef. There was no need for me to waste precious stomach space on a bean taco. Remembering the drama from my last taco Tuesday, I made sure to order without lettuce, regardless of whether it already came with it.
Once every million years or so I venture outside of my Taco Bell comfort zone and find a Mexican restaurant that I just can’t get enough of. That is the case with La Paz, a great, greasy little restaurant tucked away on Center Street in sunny El Segundo.
After trying (and enjoying) many different items from their menu, I have finally fallen into a dish that I can never get enough of, the Super Deluxe (Wet) Burrito. The menu says it comes with ground beef, rice, beans, lettuce, guacamole and cheese, but La Paz Restaurant (just like La Paz, Bolivia and their constitution) is happy to make substitutions.
