Just like last fall, Los Angeles Magazine decided the world needed Burgers, Bourbon + Beer and thus brought some purveyors of these delicious “B” digestibles to the Victorian in Santa Monica to determine who could win the Burger Battle. Many of the players from the previous edition had changed, and those who hadn’t changed up their burgers anyway, so I dove headfirst into the burgers, with a quick can of beer from Golden Road to lubricate my senses. Highlights below!

Kuawa Crunch – Pono Kitchen + Bar

Special beef, special cheddar, spicy guava rum sauce and potato chips (plus the unnecessary lettuce and cole slaw) made the Kuawa Crunch a fantastic burger. It might have even stood a chance as the best burger of the night if it hadn’t been for the lettuce and slaw.

Citizen Burger – Citizen Beverly Hills

Citizen’s take on the cili cheese burger included pimento cheese and pickled cabbage on a brioche bun. Unfortunately, some hidden mustard derailed this burger’s chances, but I will say that pimento cheese on a burger was a great decision and one I hope other burgers will follow.

The Basement Tavern Burger – The Basement Tavern

I can’t help but wonder how much better this burger would have been if it were still warm, as the wagyu beef, candied bacon, brie and garlic sherry aioli all worked well, especially when I took the onions off. Alas, I will never know…

The Cannibal Burger – The Cannibal Beer & Butcher

My big winner was this burger, which was made from 60 day dry aged beef, stilton bleu cheese and harissa mayo. Simple, satisfying and perfectly executed.

I also want to give a shout out to the burger from Erven, which is Vegan. It uses a Beyond Burger Patty, fake cheese and some veggies that I had no interest in. As of now it doesn’t compare to a real beef burger, but I am glad to live in a world that is working to make meat substitutes that actually taste like meat. Perhaps one day I could even swap out a burger for something like the Beyond Burger on occasion and not feel like I’m missing out on too much. Some day…

Until then, that wraps up another Burgers, Bourbon + Beer!

A short time ago, Jimmy’s Famous American Tavern opened up a location in Santa Monica. On it’s own, this can be seen as a good thing, but an even better thing is that I was invited out to check the place out and give it a review. I happily accepted and set off for the place where the land meets the sea (well almost, Jimmy’s is a few blocks inland).

The meal began with some of the sexiest meatballs the world has every seen. They are called Buffalo BBQ Beef Meatballs, which meant that they were a combination of sweet and spicy, plus they were nice and juicy. They were served with a honey garlic ranch and despite the fact that the thin-sliced peppers on top came as a surprise, I enjoyed the hell out of these. We also got the Spicy Ahi Poke, which was good for raw fish and I’m sure those who like poke would have liked this, but it just isn’t my thing and I don’t see a future where it is.

Next came the Whiskey Shrimp, which was apparently cooked with Bourbon (so maybe bourbon shrimp would have been a better name), shallots, Cajun spices and dijon. The shrimp itself tasted pretty fresh (and I should have hoped so considering our proximity to the ocean), but the sauce was really the best part of the appetizer, as I probably could have dipped asparagus in there and made it taste good. Once again there were some unfortunate random tomatoes on top, but I slapped these aside.

When it came to the main course, I probably would have normally ordered a burger, but the waitress highly recommended the fried chicken. Like an obedient unvegan I listened. I can safely say the recommendation was not a mistake (although I still long to know what that burger might have tasted like). The fried chicken was definitely geared more toward the Santa Monica crowd then, say, a Louisiana crowd as it consisted of thin-sliced chicken breast instead of something dark and/or bony. Nonetheless, it was super juicy and the batter was flavorful, if not quite at my preferred level of crispiness.

We finished things off with the Bananageddon, which seems an appropriate name to end all things forever. This monster was a combination of bananas, pastry cream (which is apparently a thing), pecan blondie crumbles, butter pecan ice cream, candied pecans, whipped cream, caramel and white chocolate. It was all at once overwhelming and manageable. And by manageable I mean this would have been enough for an entire meal, but alas i had already basically eaten my weight in food.

I can safely say that I didn’t leave Jimmy’s Famous American Tavern hungry, but more importantly I left fulfilled. Overall, the menu vibe is like a Southern Upscale bar and it suited me just perfectly. Hopefully it will suit Santa Monica just as well.

Eggs Benedict is pretty well-known for being one of the greatest breakfast creations of all time. Yet, it is not without faults. After all, the English muffin is probably the worst of all muffins and not even great in the realm of breads. But M Street (a Lettuce Entertain You place) in Santa Monica has a solution for this nonsense: hash browns.

It’s called Hash Browns Eggs Benedict and it is so simple that I couldn’t believe I had never seen it on a menu before. It’s literally eggs benedict on hash browns instead of English muffins. Moreover, you can get bacon instead of ham, which I did. More moreover, it comes with toast if you still want something bready.

And it is truly amazing. Unlike home fries that sometimes pass themselves off as hash browns, these are the real deal – shredded, sometimes crisp and always delicious. The bacon was also perfectly crisp and thick, while the eggs were runny and the hollandaise sauce was, well hollandaise sauce.

No doubt, this was a solid spot for some brunch. I say this not only because I assume everything on the menu is as good as the Hash Brown Eggs Benedict, but because everyone else loved the hell out of their meals as well.

Rick’s Tavern on Main has historically been a divey, somewhat gross college bar. And let’s be honest, on a typical Friday or Saturday night it still is. But after a long bike ride, I found myself at Rick’s for lunch with astronomically low expectations. Don’t get me wrong here, I love me some dive bar food and I’ll take it over a snooty restaurant any day, but I literally knew nothing of Rick’s aside from its ability to cure sobriety.

So, imagine my surprise when I found Rick’s had a fairly large menu with a good diversity of choices. Of course, my eyes immediately found the burgers, which also had a nice range. Plus, just about every one of them came on a pretzel bun. Awesome.

I went with their Western burger, which was topped with cheddar, crispy onions (aka onion rings), bacon and a bourbon BBQ sauce. Nothing too creative here, but sometimes you don’t need to mess with a classic. I also ordered it medium rare and chose fries over salad for my side because uh well I don’t need to explain.

The burger that came out looked pretty good despite the menacingly large bun. Yet, if a bun is going to be too big for a burger, at least it was a pretzel bun. When I dug in, I was pleasantly surprised with the flavors that greeted me. The burger itself could have been more on the rare side, but generally it all tasted pretty good. Not the most creative, but certainly acceptable.

My burger at Rick’s won’t go into any top burger lists, but Rick’s played it safe, added a pretzel bun and churned out something that I have no complaints about.

Allow me to start out by dispelling any possible rumor that I was hungover for my brunch at Snug Harbor. Not only do I have a bizarre immunity to such things, but I wouldn’t want such a thing to bias a review. I should also dispel any rumor that Snug Harbor is anywhere near water or a harbor, as it is not, even though it’s in Santa Monica. I will admit that it is snug and I will further admit that what I ordered was called The Hangover.

Yes, I don’t need to be hungover to appreciate hangover food. And this one was a doozy, beginning with parmesan crusted chicken on top of a gravy-covered biscuit and below a sunny side up egg with hollandaise sauce on it. It also came with home fries.

And let me tell you, this monster of a brunch was pretty awesome. Each ingredient was not only distinct, but matched up well with all the other ingredients. The most difficult thing about it was cutting straight through to get just the right amount of everything.

The meal definitely hit the spot and I’m pretty sure it would live up to its billing and handle just about any hangover that I can think of.

Santa Monica doesn’t exactly have a reputation for good food. And what reputation it does have usually tends to lean on the upscale. But reputation alone does not simply make a city, and Santa Monica actually has a surprising number of little gems hidden in its nooks and crannies. One of these, I had heard, was Tacos Por Favor.

Yet, aside from actually hearing of Tacos Por Favor, I hadn’t really been told what was good on their menu, so when I arrived and found a vast menu full of nearly every Mexican dish I had ever heard of, I was in trouble.

So I did what any rational gringo lost in a sea of Mexican food would do – ordered tacos. In this case, I went for their 2 Soft Taco Combo, which came with beans and rice. The tacos were topped with meat of my choosing (one carne asada and the other al pastor), salsa, cilantro and onions. As always, I had no tolerance for onions, so I ordered without and then got a side of guacamole to make up for it.

Pretty soon, my combo was ready and I grabbed it along with a couple of additional salsas to accompany my meal. To say that I was disappointed by the portion of my $1.25 side of guacamole would be an understatement. If there was more than one ounce in there, I would have be shocked. But maybe the guac was awesome, so I forked it out onto my tacos and went to work. It was good, but nothing near awesome and nothing close making the $1.25 worth it. The tacos themselves were good and packed pretty nicely with meat, but didn’t exactly offer much more than I could get at your average taco truck. This is not to knock the tacos in any way, but to simply say that such tacos are a dime a dozen.

So maybe I ordered the wrong thing and Tacos Por Favor has some intensely amazing burrito that deliciously sat in the corner crying as I ordered the wrong thing. In any case, Tacos Por Favor is worthwhile if you happen to be nearby, but if not you can probably do better in your own part of LA.

Through an act of charity (seriously), my lady friend and I found ourselves in possession of a gift certificate to Patrick’s Roadhouse in Santa Monica. The only catch was that this thing expired at the end of December. Being the go-getters we are, we finally made our way there on December 21st to get some brunch. When we arrived, we quickly learned that the whole menu wasn’t being served due to it being the manager’s last day. I’m not sure why that prompted a special menu, but it still looked great and we didn’t ask any questions.

While watching either well-trained children or midgets walk around to clear off plates, I realized a couple things. First, that I wanted the breakfast burrito. Second, that Patrick’s Roadhouse just may be in violation some sort of child labor laws. Rather than calling the authorities, though, I ordered my burrito. It came with egg, potatoes, avocado, cheese and a choice of bacon or sausage. I went with the bacon, then continued to watch the children as I awaited my meal. These are the best live pure reviews.

It took a while, and that may have been due to hiring children to do the work of grown-ups, but when it arrived, I found my burrito under attack. Yes, a salad had found its way onto my plate and the leaves of lettuce seemed to be in the act of devouring my burrito. I brushed them away, and then attacked the burrito myself. Whether made by children or not, this was a damn good burrito. It was lacking in salsa, so I grabbed a bottle of hot sauce the waitress had left on the table and went to town. I found the burrito to have a nice balance of ingredients, with perhaps a few sections leaning too heavy on potato and egg. It didn’t have any special oomph or anything, but was certainly a worthy meal.

The salad ended up with my lady, and while I am happy it didn’t go to waste, it was still foolish for them to think I would have wanted such a thing with my burrito. Nonetheless, I was happy with Patrick’s Roadhouse. It didn’t offer anything especially creative, but the execution was right on.

While “the bun” has undergone many iterations (pretzel, brioche, etc…) and sandwich bread is known for its varieties, there is one bread-like breakfast conduit that still hasn’t really seen much glory as far as being put to alternate uses. It is the waffle, but Bru’s Wiffle in Santa Monica is out to change that. You see, Bru’s thinks that waffles need more of the limelight and they are willing to give it. At Bru’s, you can get a pizza waffle, taco waffles and even “sliders” with waffle buns. Of course, Bru’s offers waffles in their sweet breakfast form, but the savory offerings were really what drew me to Bru’s.

Yet, as I gazed at the savory section of the menu, I found myself wishing for more. Sure, the revolution begins with a single act, but there is an entire area of their menu dedicated to burgers, paninis (yes I know panini itself is plural) and sandwiches. Wouldn’t it be amazing if these were all available with waffles instead of bread or buns? That’s what I was hoping for, and I was sad to see that wasn’t the case, so I made my way back to the savory section and picked out a meal. Despite the interesting choices, Dwight’s Special Chicken & Waffle really stood out to me. I know I can get chicken and waffles at other places, but I felt this was a good way to gauge Bru’s.

The waitress told me that “Dwight’s Special” didn’t mean there were any frilly wasteful vegetables and I was safe (in not so many words). I was given the option of white or dark meat, and chose the white, thinking I didn’t want to deal with bones. She also asked if I was cool with all the condiments (ranch, gravy, Louisiana hot sauce and syrup). They all sounded great to me, then to top it all off I ordered their chili cheese waffle fries to make it an even bigger waffle experience. The waitress was surprised such fries still existed on the menu and was under the impression they no longer made them, but would find out for us. It turned out they would sometimes make them specially, and I happened to be special that day.

But before getting to the meal, there was a bit of a wait. I blamed the custom fries on this, but was happy when everything arrived. On top of a large Belgian waffle sat two huge, fried chicken breasts waiting to be motorboated between my teeth. I started with a bite of the chicken and waffle without condiments and found them both to my liking, then proceeded to drop ranch, hot sauce and syrup upon my meal. At that point I realized I was lacking in gravy and asked the waitress for some. She happily obliged and I dug even further into my meal. First off, the fried chicken recipe was awesome. While the breading was good, it was not too heavy in taste or stomach-feel. I also loved that Bru’s did not shy away from making a sweet, flavorful waffle (supposedly with Madagascar vanilla). As such, the waffle wasn’t just some waffle-shaped bread but a truly essential part of the meal.

As for the waffle fries, they were sliced thin and at times were more like chips than actual fries. This made for an interesting, if not totally delicious experience. You see, these fries kind of buckled and sogged under the chili and cheese pressure, where typical waffle fries probably would have stood stronger. The chili and cheese were good, and I certainly applaud the effort to bring a different type of waffle into the fold, but sticking with old-fashioned waffle fries probably would have been better for the cause.

Nonetheless, I am ready to go back to Bru’s Wiffle. Many things on the menu made my mouth water, especially not that Bru’s passed the chicken and waffles test. If I’m lucky, maybe I’ll even be able to convince the place to sub out a bun or bread for waffles on one of those burgers or sandwiches. A guy can dream, right?

A couple years ago, the Michigan Alumni Association started gathering at South in Santa Monica. This struck me as strange, because Michigan is about as north as a state can get. Yet, any place willing to host the legions of Michigan football fans was a winner in my mind. Plus, it didn’t hurt to have Abita on tap. But in these years, I had not attempted their food until the past weekend. I heard some bad things, but sometimes you just have to eat.

South offers a brunch menu for us early risers and I found myself ordering their Fried Chicken and Biscuits for $11. Eventually, they arrived and looked delicious, if not small. You see, the menu had described the dish as coming with gravy and waffle fries, but I found that there were only three waffle fries included and they were completed covered in gravy. No, covered isn’t the right word…let’s go with drowning.

Nonetheless, I went with it and started eating. I quickly found the waffle fries to be soggy, the biscuits to be hard and the gravy to be relatively tasteless. The only redeeming factor was the fried chicken, which was good, but truly nothing amazing. I don’t get it, Southern food isn’t hard to make taste good. Sure, like all cuisines, it takes skill and effort. I’m not trying to downplay Southern food, but realistically a dish like chicken and biscuits should be relatively simple. I’m no Southerner, so maybe for some it offers a degree of home comfort, but for a Northerner looking for tasty Southern food, South is a disappointment.

But as long as they host my football games, I’ll be coming back. I’ll just do my best to eat before, as to not be tempted by the poorly-executed Southern menu.

Situated somewhere in the middle of 3rd Street Promenade in Santa Monica is a place called Monsieur Marcel. It’s easy to miss if you aren’t looking, and in the countless times I have been there I had never seen it myself, at least until I was looking out specifically for it. Based on the name, you would expect Monsieur Marcel to be French, and you would be right. The menu is populated with unpronounceable dishes, but fortunately they also come with English descriptions.

After a long, long look at the menu, I finally decided on the Croque Marcel. A croque is like a French sandwich, but with the added twist of being fried with some cheese. And in this cheesy sandwich was smoked turkey, goat cheese and mornay (creamy) sauce. It had the makings of a delicious meal, and was on the road to being even better with some truffle fries on the side.

When the sandwich arrived, it looked positively beautiful. There were no veggies in sight and the fries looked pretty good. Or did they? For truffle fries, they seemed pretty dry, and a quick sniff told me they were truffle-free. I told the waitress, who brought out some oil just for my and I sprinkled it over the fries to make them pretty special. Without those truffles, they were some pretty boring shoestring fries, but with them they were certainly improved. Now onto the croque!

I love grilled cheese. Who doesn’t? And while a regular, buttery white bread grilled cheese with gooey, melty American cheese is awesome, sometimes an upgrade can be pretty amazing. Enter the croque. Not only did it cover the cheesy and butteriness necessary for a grilled cheese, but the addition of smoked turkey, goat cheese and mornay sauce made the sandwich even more special. The best part was that despite all the flavor, nothing felt overpowering.

For an adult grilled cheese, Monsieur Marcel did a great job. Ok, I guess it’s called a croque, but in my mind it shall remain an adult grilled cheese. Considering the lack of good food available at 3rd Street, Monsieur Marcel is a pretty good meal. Even outside the Promenade, I think it would handle its own pretty well.