Chocolate is dumb. Flowers die. Jewelry is way too expensive. But bacon is forever. Or at least it’s a great way to show a lady you love her.
Ever wonder why the Nepalese are so healthy-looking? Sure, climbing Mt. Everest probably helps, but it might be more than that (or less if we’re going based on the size of the thing). Yes, I’m talking about yak.
At the ripe age of 29, I can proudly say that meat has only positively affected my aging. And now there’s even a study supporting my mostly-biased claim. The study comes from Japan, and we all know to trust the people that brought us Nintendo.
We can probably all agree that aside from silt, floods are pretty bad. But if there is one thing that can make a flood better, it’s meat. More specifically, moose meat.
In a world riddled with far too few edible creatures, sometimes we humans can’t wait around for evolution to produce the next level of meat and take the matter into our own hands. Enter: the Beefalo.
We humans have a luxury of constantly trying to make ourselves happy. I say luxury, because we are pretty much the only species to do so. All those other suckers are busy trying to survive and reproduce. Fortunately, red meat is one of those things that makes us happy.
What’s that you say? You’re not getting enough beef in your diet? Join the club! But luckily, there is hope. We all know you can’t just go around eating steak all the time. Sure, it would taste delicious and you would live a long life, but it’s expensive at restaurants and tiresome to cook all the time. Fortunately, there are now beef straws!
While some people still try to claim that meat is bad for you, I think just about everyone across the spectrum of vegetarianism can agree that meat is unquestionably healthier than cigarettes. So when I read an article entitled “Meat Displaces Cigarettes from Bulgarians’ Diet,” I was nearly as happy as Khan Krum must have been when his Bulgarians defeated the Byzantines at the Battle of Pliska.
What’s your favorite type of meat? Is it beef, chicken or pork? Or maybe it’s something cool and exotic like venison or rattlesnake? What about horse? Didn’t think about that one, did you? Not exactly exotic, but also not exactly meat to most Americans. Now, though, thanks to a little slip of legislation, the slaughter of horses for meat has been legalized in the USA.