The Unvegan

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A Torta at Tortugas

A Bright Spot at Lola’s

The balls of Africa.
The balls of Africa.

Although they border each other and both speak English, South Africa and Zimbabwe couldn’t be more different. Granted, my only basis for comparison are Cape Town and the town of Victoria Falls, but you know, they seemed pretty different. Essentially, Victoria Falls and Zimbabwe are poor. Like dirt poor. As in, so poor that their own currency has no value and they use American dollars instead. So with all this poverty, we were surprised to find a tapas restaurant called Lola’s in the middle of Victoria Falls.

To LYFE, To LYFE

Loving the accommodating sides.
Loving the accommodating sides.

Recently, a restaurant calling itself LYFE Kitchen threw its hat into the ring of downtown Culver City. More than just a terrible misspelling, LYFE is an acronym that stands for “Love Your Food Everyday.” It’s an acronym I can appreciate, because it’s something I strive for. I mean, who doesn’t want to love their food everyday? When I checked out their menu, or should I say menus, I found that this would be a tough place to love.

Strange Meats: Ostrich

Pan-seared ostrich.
Pan-seared ostrich.

The ostrich is a strange creature. A relic of a world ruled by birds, it is both flightless and the largest bird on Earth. These factors combine to make it ideal for food, and if it weren’t the fastest bird on the planet, I have a feeling its meat would be a bit more ubiquitous on the dinner plate. Ostrich is certainly not the strangest of meats, as it can be found as beef alternative in healthy burgers. Yet, it is unquestionably abnormal.

Topless at the Buffalo Bar

But not a buffalo burger.
But not a buffalo burger.

Typically one can expect prices to go down when traveling to a country in abject poverty, such as Zimbabwe, yet when we arrived in Victoria Falls, we were greeted by prices that rivaled fancy pants restaurants in LA. The people certainly could have used the money more than us, but I was still shocked when I sat down to eat lunch at the Buffalo Bar in the Victoria Falls Safari Lodge and found myself staring at a $15 burger.

Going Back Home in Lahaina

Just like...someone's home.
Just like…someone’s home.

I’ve been to Hawaii once. For a ten hour layover. So, while that island paradise is within the country I have spent most of my life, it is less of a home to me than China and Japan. Yet, I have always been intrigued by the Hawaiian restaurant known as Back Home in Lahaina. Maybe it’s the awesome name that evokes nostalgia for nothing I have any right to be nostalgic about. Or maybe it’s that Hawaiian food is both fascinating and delicious to me. Whatever the reason, I found myself at their Carson location for lunch.

Eating a Baby at Platia

Gettin' haloumi with it.
Gettin’ haloumi with it.

Faced with the undesirable need to stay in Johannesburg for a night, my lady and I stayed at a place Emperor’s Palace nicknamed “The Vegas of Africa.” We weren’t interested in the gambling aspect, but we were happy about the fully-enclosed nature of the place in a city we had heard could be treacherous. As for the Las Vegas part, our hotel was a part of a large complex of hotels and there was a single Caesar’s Palace-esque casino in the middle of it all. It’s replete with a fountain, partly-cloudy skies painted on the ceiling, shopping and a variety of restaurants. Except that it’s tiny. Like slightly bigger than an average mall food court. Nonetheless, it has the look down and had some good-looking restaurants.

Heading South to Flossie’s (CLOSED)

Fried Flossie.
Fried Flossie.

A long, long time ago, in a valley far, far away, a coworker of mine recommended I check out Flossie’s Southern Cuisine in Torrance. I listened, because the man spent his college years in Alabama, but didn’t ever expect to make it down to Torrance for a meal. Yet, somehow I found myself employed in that strange southern part of LA and made sure to track down Flossie’s.

Strange Slices at Meloncino

I guess the view is alright.
I guess the view is alright.

On our last night in Cape Town, we were thinking Italian and headed back to The Waterfront to find Meloncino. The restaurant might just have the greatest view of any pizza place in the world, but I must admit I have not seen every pizza view in existence. While great views are available all over Cape Town, I was more curious if great pizza existed as well.

A Little Freddy Smalls

These devils don't look like Obama.
These devils don’t look like Obama.

We all like The Counter, that quintessential custom burger place that has spread its beefy goodness around the nation. And although it isn’t the most inspired of places, it gets things done. Well, the guy who started the place decided it was time for some more inspirational food and cooked up a gastropub-esque (no burgers!) place called Freddy Smalls in West LA.

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