Some BBQ places have a reputation that precedes them. Others, you just kind of drive by a bunch and decide it’s time to pay a visit. Porkopolis in Scottsdale is the latter, and I finally decided to pay that visit. I was greeted by possibly the friendliest waiter a BBQ restaurant has ever seen and the scent of smoke and meat juices.

After enlisting the assistance of the waiter, I ended up ordering the 3 Meat Platter with the baby back ribs, pulled pork and burnt ends (which is an option even though the menu doesn’t say so!) It was tough deciding between the burnt ends and the brisket, but I felt confident in my decision. I also opted for mac and cheese and mashed potatoes for my sides.

The platter was nothing short of massive, and the ingredients in the platter were also huge. And yet, somehow a couple of pickles managed to squeeze onto the plate and taint the mashed potatoes. I pushed them away, but was unquestionably disappointed to find there was one or two lurking beneath the potatoes. I tried to move on to the rest of the food and the mac and cheese really helped me through that tough time. It was cheesy, stretchy and had just the right amount of char on top.

Of the meats, the pulled pork was the best. This was weird to me because usually I simply don’t love pulled pork. However, it was juicy, smokey and flavorful. I was expecting the burnt ends to be the best, and they were quite good, but just not as delicious as they could have been. The baby back ribs were of the fall off the bone variety and I don’t care what some people say, I love that. The mashed potatoes were…mashed potatoes. No complaints, but nothing special.

I would definitely make my way back to Porkopolis for that pulled pork. I mean, it’s in the name and it makes sense. I’d switch a couple of other things around as well, but would expect that nothing would be less than “pretty good.” Porkopolis may not be a real city, but it still has all of the amenities I need.

There’s really very little in life that can compare to a true apples to apples comparison. Or, if you’re in Lockhart, Texas, a meat to meat comparison. You see, Lockhart is the BBQ capital of Texas and literally after finishing up the brisket (or shoulder clod depending on who you are asking) at Kreuz Market, I headed right around the corner to Black’s BBQ, which a member of my family said was even better. In few moments, I would quickly decide whether he was foolish or praiseworthy.

Black’s not only had brisket to compare to Kreuz, but jalapeno cheddar sausage as well, so I went with both. I enjoyed watching the butcher slice the meat like it was butter and delicately place it upon my plate with a sizable sausage. What I didn’t enjoy so much was the meat itself. It was packed with delicious flavor and a delightful rind, but it was actually kind of tough and dry comparatively.

The jalapeno cheddar sausage also fell short of Kreuz. There was no lack of flavor, but the texture simply couldn’t compete.

But here’s the thing: Black’s BBQ was still amazing. I mean like it would probably be the best BBQ in Arizona if it was in Arizona. But it’s not, it’s in Texas and in Texas the bar was set higher by Kreuz Market.

There are five pillars in the religion of Islam. One of these is the Hajj, a pilgrimage to Mecca. Being unvegan has no such pillars, but if there had to be a Mecca, it would probably be Lockhart, Texas. Sure, there are holy unvegan sites scattered around the globe, but BBQ is arguable the most unvegan food, Texas is arguably the best state to eat BBQ in and Lockhart is arguably the BBQ capital of Texas. But, determining the actual Kaaba worth circling around (aka best BBQ restaurant) was my most important task and it began at Kreuz Market.

Kreuz Market has been making BBQ since 1900 and did such a good job that it moved into a pretty sizable building 99 years later. The line was impressively long and slow, but the smell of burning wood had me excited all the way to the front. They call their fatty brisket “shoulder clod” and their lean brisket “brisket.” And it’s sold by weight, so I grabbed a half pound of each (don’t worry, I was sharing) and a jalapeno cheese sausage because duh.

The shoulder clod can only be described as heaven. The meat melted in my mouth and had just enough smokey and salty flavor to get me wanting more after each bite, with enough juiciness to sustain the edibility. If it weren’t for the amazingness of the shoulder clod, I’m sure I would have loved the lean brisket, but compared to the shoulder clod it was simply too dry. The jalapeno cheddar sausage, by the by, was a stellar companion to the shoulder clod. It was packed relatively tightly, but not so much that it tasted like it was produced in a sausage factory.

Kreuz Market was a strong start to my BBQ Hajj and quite possible the best brisket I had ever eaten in my life. While I only had time to try out one other place, I was eager to see how its meat would stack up.

There are certain aspects of the Phoenix area that are tough to get used to. Not in the sense that they are bad in any way, just that they are different. You see, I spent much of my life thinking that good food is a pretty rare find in a strip mall or as a standalone building in the parking lot of a strip mall. But, when a city is basically all strip malls, the good food simply has to be there. Thus, while my expectations of BBQ spots are generally a bit less pristine than a strip mall, I couldn’t pass up the chance to check out Naked BBQ in Scottsdale.

Of course, Naked BBQ had the added bonus of being the second location, so I assumed they already had a fair idea of how to smoke some meats. When we arrived, the guy behind the counter told us they were running a Beef Rib special, that it was the best thing they had and that it was like eating a dinosaur bone. I figured he meant something along the lines of sauropod as opposed to the velociraptor (basically the dino equivalent of a faster turkey). This also came with two sides and I got the mac and cheese and convinced them to let me get banana pudding as my second side because it was the same cost.

To start with, the rib (yes, it was literally just one rib) was nothing short of incredible. It was also on the sauropod side of of the dinosaur spectrum. The meat had just enough smokiness to it to bring out the savory flavor and just enough fat to blow away my taste buds in a logarithmic fashion. The meat was easily pulled apart with a fork and could have easily been sliced with a butter knife you can learn more at https://www.wetheknives.com/best-damascus-chef-knives-review/. I was also recommended the horseradish sauce to dip and it went perfect if used in moderation. The hot BBQ sauce and the regular BBQ sauce also got the job done in terms of adding a bit of taste, but there was so much flavor in the meat that there really wasn’t a need.

The mac and cheese was also a really solid addition to the meal. It was plenty creamy and cheesy, but took a definitive backseat to the main course. The banana pudding was actually a bit disappointing. I am by no means a banana pudding aficionado and am perfectly happy with Jell-O Pudding, but this actually tasted like Jell-O Pudding and I could have just made that at home.

Dessert aside, this was one delicious meal. And, perhaps more importantly, it helped me in my continuing quest to set aside restaurant prejudice and be a real Phoenician.

It’s hard to make BBQ trendy. It is inherently something that people have very specific expectations for, and anything “new” and good is almost always a minor tweak that makes a real difference. So where can innovation come from? Booze. At least that’s what Bootleggers BBQ in Phoenix was thinking, offering a pretty snazzy modern divey bar that also serves up BBQ. It’s like a gastropub meets a BBQ spot and I was eager to see how the meat would hold up.

So, after a couple of beers, we went with the BBQ Sampler for Two. This came with pulled pork, brisket, a hot link, turkey and two St. Louis Ribs. There were also tortillas for some reason and some cole slaw. When it arrived, it looked mighty pretty. I dug right in and was happy with the results. By far my favorite was the brisket, which was juicy, smokey and super tender. In fact, there wasn’t really anything to complain about for any of the meats. Even the hot link, which can often be hit or miss, was solid if not exciting. They used an amazing small wood stove to cook efficiently.

Truthfully, I would have been happy with pretty much any of these meats as my full meal (except maybe the turkey, but that’s more personal preference than anything else). And yet, after I downed half the platter I wanted some mac and cheese. So I ordered it and have to say it didn’t impress me. Just ho hum flavor and simply not cheesy enough for me. Perhaps that is why the sampler didn’t come with a side, but I still would take the good main course over the side on almost any day.

Bootleggers was an impressive, if not overly exciting meal. But having that bar was a great touch, because I got to drink Bell’s Two Hearted Ale and it’s hard to go wrong with that. I’d definitely be willing to make Bootleggers BBQ a regular BBQ stop.

Like in LA, food trucks are a thing in the Phoenix area. And it makes much more sense here because everything is so damn spread out. Pasadena spoiled me. But I digress. The good news is that my office is all about bringing food trucks in every month (not for free, of course) to mix things up and to keep us from driving literal miles to the nearest food. This last time, it was Sweet Magnolia Smokehouse, serving up BBQ.

I was the first in line because I was hungry, but also because I wanted to learn what the best food was. The guy running the truck that day highly recommended the brisket in sandwich form, so despite my previous painful brisket experience I took him up on it and ordered it regular sized because I’m trying not to be the fattest person in the world. Quality over quantity, right?

Oh, I should also mention that it came with cole slaw and a side. I chose the mac and cheese and let them no there was no need for slaw because I’m not a stupid rabbit.

It arrived on a bun doused in BBQ sauce. Doused, I say. But honestly, I didn’t really mind it. Sure, I would have taken about half the sauce, but somehow the brisket itself was still able to shine through, all chopped up and full of smokey goodness. A couple of the bits were kind of tough, but that’s a minor complaint in the grand scheme of brisket. The mac and cheese was actually pretty fantastic, with a great noodle to cheese ratio and relative moistness that I found comforting.

Sweet Magnolia Smokehouse may not be the best brisket in the land, but it definitely serves up some solid BBQ – albeit with some questionable sauce volume.

Good food is always made better if it’s found in a strange place. You know, like the Cheetos you find in the couch cushion. No, but seriously, like BBQ at a gas station. Such is Tom’s Thumb in Scottsdale. And while it may be more of a restaurant that happens to have a gas station attached than the other way around, that shouldn’t take away from the fact that this is literally a gas station and BBQ place.

I ordered the Brisket Stack off the breakfast menu because it was easily the most interesting thing on their menu. It was sliced brisket over cheesy hash brown cakes, topped with two fried eggs and some chipotle aioli. I grabbed some of the BBQ sauces that were available and got down to business.

I must say I was a bit disappointed upon first looking at the dish, as the yolks of the eggs were cooked solid, but I gave it the benefit of the doubt. Then I got to the next layer, which was the brisket. While it had a nice smokiness and flavor, it was shockingly difficult to eat them because the meat was just tough. Like not tender at all. Which is weird. But the cheesy hash brown cakes were delicious, so that’s something.

I don’t know if their regular BBQ items would have been better than the Brisket Stack, because not even the great variety of BBQ sauces could save this dish. I mean I hope that is the case, because otherwise you might be better grilling your own juicy BBQ using your tools from Smokers Edmonton store.

BBQ is pretty much the best. But the Bay Area is a long way from where the best BBQ is supposed to be. Yet, while there for a quickie trip I made my way to 3 Pigs BBQ in San Carlos. The place definitely has a rustic feel, with an homage to the southern source of great BBQ in the form of an American flag made from Bud and Bud Light beer cans. It seemed like my kind of place and I set to work on ordering.

I opted to split a couple things with my buddy. The first was a half rack of St. Louis ribs. The ribs came out pre-sliced and followed the mantra of “ribs shouldn’t be fall off the bone.” I prefer them at least a bit more tender, but they had a good, smokey flavor and went well with all of the BBQ sauces provided by 3 Pigs.

We also split a Chopped Brisket Tray, which came with two sides and corn bread. For the sides we went with chili and mac and cheese because chili and mac and cheese. Duh. Unfortunately, the highlight of this tray was everything except for the ribs, which is definitely not what you want to say at a BBQ spot. The brisket was flavorless and simply not as tender as brisket should be. Not even the sauce could salvage the brisket, but at least I had the sides. The mac and cheese was great, with bread crumbs on top to for crunch and despite lacking in creaminess, there was plenty of cheesy flavor. The chili was also pretty solid and was a much better use of the brisket than the actual brisket. Oh, and the corn bread was plenty moist, fluffy and corny.

So, while the ribs were better than the brisket, 3 Pigs BBQ was nothing to write home about. That’s why I am writing about them in a blog, because home just wouldn’t care.

It would have been much more convenient to go to Blue Tractor BBQ in Ann Arbor. After all, I seem to get there about once a year. The trouble is that every time I’m there I can’t help but stop at Zingerman’s, with an occasional other restaurant thrown in once every blue (or maize) moon. Instead, I went to the location a number of hours further away in Traverse City, Michigan, not far from Sleeping Bear Dunes.

It began with Tractor Twists, which are not at all your typical BBQ food, but that should in no way cheapen their deliciousness. These are twisted bread sticks that are stuffed with monterey jack cheese, coated with garlic and herb butter and served with marinara sauce. You could basically call them deconstructed pizza twists, and that would sound and taste just as good as these did.

I kept the twist theme going with my main course, which was the Pork Mac & Cheese (get it? the macaroni noodles are twisted!). This meant that the mac, which was cheesed up with a smokey gouda bechamel sauce, was topped with smoked pork shoulder, which was then topped with tangy BBQ sauce, kind of like an inception situation. And while the portions were impressive, to be honest, my first bite was disappointing. The bit of pork shoulder that I got was dry and the mac and cheese wasn’t creamy at all. But as I dug in, I realized that the creaminess had settled towards the bottom of the bowl and just needed my assistance for proper dispersion, while the pork shoulder was plenty juicy on the interior. My theory is that the dish was simply plated a little too quickly compared to my eating companions and spent a little too long under the heat lamp or elsewhere. It’s situations like these in which I wish we didn’t just wait for all food to be ready to be served. Alas, this is America, and for some reason this is a custom that lives in.

But I digress. Once I got into the thick of my meal, it was super delicious. It combined basically everything you need to survive – meat, cheese and carbs – and did so well, at least after a bit of stirring. It’s definitely a place I would recommend for someone looking to get smoked up in Northern Michigan.

At 8 miles around, Mackinac Island is known for a few things. A beautiful hotel, horses, bikes and even some food. That food is fudge, so I’ll not bother with writing about how Murray’s Fudge is the best, but the island is not without other restaurants catering to the throngs of tourists that make their way and need something to eat. On this visit, we left the main drag and found Ice House BBQ.

We started things off with an order of their Crunchy Deviled Eggs because apparently deviled eggs are what my wife craves when she is pregnant. Unlike normal deviled eggs, these are coated in panko crumbs and fried before getting the yolky mixture back in the whites. They were certainly tasty and nice twist on the usual deviled eggs, with the crunch of the crumbs almost making up for the lack of crunchy bacon.

For my main course, I ordered the Baby Back Ribs. They were said to be dry rubbed and slow smoked, and came with two sides and corn bread. I picked mac and cheese for my side and got potato salad so my wife could enjoy it. The ribs came out pre-sliced, which was certainly surprising. But this didn’t stop me from digging in. These wings weren’t fall off the bone, but instead seemed to adhere to the bite mark method of smoking. The flavor was pretty decent, but not exactly something special. On the other hand, I could really appreciate the char on the outside of the ribs and the flavor it brought. The mac and cheese was pretty solid, and made for a nice accompaniment.

Ice House didn’t exactly serve up the finest BBQ in the world, but it was unquestionably a solid choice for a meal on an island made for tourists.