I’m going to say something unpopular. Bloody Marys are the worst. Tomatoes suck, celery sucks and there’s just something weird about spicy drinks. But I must say that I am glad that Hash Kitchen has made the big bucks off of having an incredible Bloody Mary bar. Why? Because it has enabled them to expand out to Chandler for their latest Grand Opening. And because I got to snag a bunch of the meats and cheeses from the Bloody Mary bar to decorate my beer. It may be frowned upon normally, but at the Grand Opening anything goes. As expected, the bacon was the best.

Having eaten at the Scottsdale Hash Kitchen locations a couple of times, I thought I knew what to expect from the Grand Opening. Regardless, here were some of the samplings.

Herb Fried Chicken and Waffle

With thick cut bacon, fried leeks and a warm maple reduction.

Avocado Toast

Using the split-top biscuit from the benedict, this is topped with avocado, carnitas, an over easy egg, green chili salsa and more of those fried leeks.

Carnitas Hash

Read more on this beautiful stuff here.

Cannoli Donuts

The biggest surprise of the night was how incredible the darker of these donuts were. Aside from the custardy filling, these donuts tasted as close as I’ve ever had to Cider Mill donuts this side of the Mississippi and that’s basically the best compliment a donut can get.

Fruity Pebbles Cereal Shooter

Fruity Pebbles dust, loopy vodka, rumchata and milk. A sweet and creamy way to get morning booze.

In all, I didn’t need convincing that Hash Kitchen is delicious, but it was definitely great to try some new things from the menu. Chandler is a lucky place to now have its own rendition of Hash Kitchen.

Creating Jewish deli meat is like a perfect combination of art and science. Some delis have found the ideal balance, while others are more content to satisfy the science part of it all and move on from there. I paid a visit to Chompie’s in Scottsdale to see how it would measure up against my admittedly high standards for Kosher-style delis.

For starters, the menu was exactly what I would want from a deli – massive and full of what seemed like massive sandwiches. While I could have gone for a simple Reuben or Hot Pastrami, I instead opted for the Triple Decker called Mitch’s Brooklyner. It was stuffed with pastrami, corned beef and brisket with three slices of double baked Jewish rye (as though there is some other sort of rye out there). There was literally nothing else in the sandwich. No cheese. No dressing. Nothing. But there was a side and I chose fries.

My triple decker sandwich arrived locked and loaded, ready for the taking. It looked like a daunting task to eat, but actually not too crazy because Chompie’s clearly adhered more to the science-y side of Jewish deli meats. Each was sliced to the exact same super thin-ness that really hid a lot of the texture that good corned beef, pastrami and brisket should have. Plus, while it was almost inevitable that one meat would get the shaft, why did it have to be pastrami? This was definitely the most flavorful of the trio, if not especially special. The rye was definitely solid and held up well against the onslaught of meats.

So while Chompie’s was not at all the kind of deli you tell everyone to go running to, it was definitely the kind of deli that you enjoy having in your neighborhood when you just need the comforts of the old country. There might not be much excitement or art to it, but when you stack up three meats it’ll do just fine.

There was a weird time in history when revolving restaurants became popular. Only one of these, at least as far as I understand, also was a Playboy Club back in the day, and that was the Compass Arizona Grill on top of the Hyatt in Downtown Phoenix. Today, it serves as kind of a throwback steakhouse, there to remind you how cool rotating restaurants once were, while trying to adapt to the modern palette.

Thus, we began with a couple of appetizers – the calamari and the meat and cheese board. One turned out well and the other left a little to desire. Surprisingly, I have to give kudos to the calamari. It was lightly fried and tasted fresh. I probably could have done without the accompanying veggies, but this was exactly the kind of calamari you want at a more upscale place. As for the meat and cheese board, both the meat and cheese were delicious, as you might expect. The trouble was that there was only one type of each. Variety is key for a charcuterie like this and this rotating restaurant didn’t provide it.

As for my main course, I ordered the Bone-In Niman Ranch Ribeye in honor of Hef, because I assume that is what he would have ordered. It came with a black garlic demi-glace, which is not something I would have expected at such a place and was eager to try out. After watching the sun set in the full 360 degreees, the steak arrived a surprisingly perfect medium-rare, and I set to work on spreading the black garlic evenly over the meat. The meat wasn’t quite as marbled as I would have liked, with sort of uneven bursts of fat and meatiness, but that’s really the only complaint I had. I thought the black garlic was a nice modern touch to bring out some extra umami that pretty much every meal could use.

I should also mention that the steak came with a choice of a side and I went for the bacon-brie mac and cheese. My only wish from this was that there could have been more of it, because it was perfect in every way.

Considering the gimmicky nature of the revolving restaurant and it being in a hotel, my expectations were pretty low for my meal. Lucky for Compass Arizona Grill, those expectations were exceeded. It may not be the best steak in the Phoenix area (I’m still partial to Mastro’s and waiting to be convinced that a better steak exists), but it did a good job. Like its Playboy roots, you may come for the views, but you’ll stick around for the articles.

Look, I’ve already confessed to not being the biggest banh mi guy, but that doesn’t mean I was not eager to find the most badass banh mi that Ho Chi Minh City (formerly Saigon) had to offer. Therefore, I knew I had to make my way to Banh Mi Huynh Hoa. The internet informed me that the lines could often be massive, but that they would mostly be filled with locals. But I had a little trick in my back pocket.

That trick really wasn’t my trick, it was simply the existence of rain, which seemed to have scared most people away from waiting in line. Thus, after only a couple of minutes of waiting in a line where I could only locate one other obvious foreigner I stood ready to order. And what and order it was. I told the lady I wanted no vegetables, except that hot peppers were good. She then took to slicing open a piece of banh mi (interesting enough, the word banh mi literally means “bread” and not “sandwich”) and loaded it up with insane-looking cured meats, a flossy pork and some meat spread (presumably pate?). I then paid up the ridiculously cheap price in dong and set to eating.

I didn’t even stop to think about what each cured meat was (and perhaps it was best that I didn’t know) as I dug in, but my tongue was met with some mighty good flavors and for the first time I felt like I could really associate with why people seem to like banh mis so much. Of course, I could never expect to find such a good banh mi back at home because people in the US seem to think banh mis have to be dominated by radishes and pickled veggies. In fact, I’m not even sure there would be too many banh mi shops in Vietnam that could match the meatiness of this banh mi beast. Oh, and the bread was pretty damn good, too.

Banh Mi Huynh Hoa treated me well and showed me just how good a banh mi sandwich can actually be. For that, I will forever be grateful for the internet that led me there.

The Eatery in Pasadena is undoubtedly one of the city’s hidden gems. It’s off the beaten path and in a building that seems much more likely to house a Mexican grocery store than a fancy restaurant (in fact it does share the building with such a store). But once inside the candles, dim lighting and intimate ambiance scream non-pretentious fanciness. Of course, none of this would matter to me if the food didn’t satisfy my unvegan desires.

Fortunately, it started out well with an amuse bouche that was essentially a miniaturized version of a stuffed baked potato, using fingerling potatoes, shredded cheese, cream and bacon. This was the start of something good.

Throughout the meal we got to know the head chef of the place and he dropped a few insights for us. Probably the craziest insight of all is that the menu literally changes every month. No, not everything, but almost all of it. I can’t even imagine how hard that must be, because I’ve been making the same stir fry for the past 12 years.

Nonetheless, we moved onto a cheese and charcuterie plate which, at the time, included coppa, capicola, speck, cheddar, buffalo gorgonzola and goat cheese. Each bite was awesome, and I feel like a lot of the credit for how good the meat was goes to how thinly it was sliced. There is a time and place for thick-cut cured meats, but this was not it and we were all the better for it.

Midway through the meal, the chef brought out a concept he had been working on for us. It was essentially a “deconstructed” French onion soup, where the broth is poured into a bowl containing all of the random ingredients right at the table while you watch. Conceptually, it was awesome and of course I loved the cheese, but it was overly salty for my taste and I was glad to be a part of the test. Hopefully it will be on the menu soon (if it hasn’t been slotted already), but with a little less salt.

Finally, for my main course I went with the Braised Short Ribs. I liked the idea of the whipped horseradish potatoes and charred parsnip puree, but they also came with braised red cabbage. I didn’t have the heart to order without because the chef had been so damn nice, but as soon as the dish came out I scraped those suckers off. Regardless of the cabbage, this was one heck of a short rib dish. The meat was incredibly tender, moist and flavorful. The potatoes and puree played a nice second fiddle and were welcome in every bite. I could have stopped there, but of course we had to try dessert.

Against my better judgment, we got the Squash-Bread French Toast. Obviously I don’t like squash, but my wife wanted it, the chef said it was good, and frankly I was too full of food to disagree. So we got it. And it didn’t taste like squash, so that was a win. In fact, it tasted pretty good, but I would have traded it in for more thin-sliced speck with that mascarpone any day.

As far as the Winter Wonderland menu of December 2016 (I know, I’m stupidly behind on these posts) goes, I was a big fan of The Eatery. And from what I could tell, I would be a fan of pretty much any other monthly menu that gets churned out.

Pork and booze are easily two of the greatest things that can be consumed on the planet, if not just two of the greatest things in general. Celestino in Pasadena is fully aware of this and has combined them in a pasta dish worth writing about. It is called the Pennette Con Prosciutto e Vodka, but it may as well be called Paradiso.

I truly have no idea how Vodka, a drink from Eastern Europe, made its way into classic Italian cuisine, but then again pasta came from China and the tomatoes came from the New World, so I suppose very little of Italian food originated in Italy. Nonetheless, there is no doubt that prosciutto is a real Italian cured meat and it goes well with everything. In this pasta dish, it is crumbled into bits and dispersed throughout, giving each bite a pop of yum.

The penne itself may not be special and most likely starts out dry, but it works well as a base for the light sauce and powerful prosciutto. It’s the kind of meal that may put you in a food coma (especially after a few rounds of bread), but it’s a coma well worth dropping into.

A lot can happen in 7 years. You could meet a woman, call her your girlfriend for a while, then fiancee, then wife and then mother of your child. You could move from LA to Pittsburgh to and then to Pasadena, with a brief sojourn into Buffalo. Or you could, you know, start a meat-centric food blog and keep it going for as long as Brad Pitt spent in Tibet.

To celebrate 7 years of The Unvegan, I decided to celebrate with a sandwich. But this wasn’t just any sandwich – no this sandwich had to be epic in unvegan-ness. It had to be 7 meats and 7 cheeses, with nothing but olive oil and bread to join them. Fortunately, I have one of LA’s best Italian Delis down the street, which goes by the name of Roma Market.

I asked for a sandwich with 7 meats and 7 cheeses. It was made clear to me that this request had never been made before, but the meat and cheese slicer man was up for the challenge. Well almost…you see, there were only 4 cheeses available. So I watched as he delicately sliced the meats and cheeses and placed them upon the bread. Then I immediately ran to the grocery store nearby to add 3 more cheeses to this masterpiece. So without further ado, I give you the 7 Years of Unvegan Sandwich (which you should definitely ask for at Roma Market and reference this post).

Meats:

1. Mortadella (ground, heat-cured pork with pistachios)
2. Capicola (dry-cured pork neck)
3. Prosciutto (dry-cured pork leg/thigh)
4. Bresaola (air-dried, salted beef)
5. Soppresatta (spicy, cured dry sausage)
6. Mild Coppa (basically the same thing as capicola and mild to not overwhelm)
7. Roast Beef (beef that is roasted)

Cheeses:

1. Swiss
2. Provolone
3. Gouda
4. Mozzarella
5. Mild Cheddar (so as to not overwhelm the sandwich)
6. Pepper Jack
7. Muenster

The last three cheeses were those unavailable at Roma, but that extra effort only made the 7 Years of Unvegan that much more delicious. Would it have been more reasonable to eat each meat individually? Absolutely. Would I have just been happy with Roma Market’s famously simple sandwich? Debatable. You see, when you have a chance to grab life by the bread and chow down on 7 different types of meat, you take it.

The Jewish influence on Montreal’s food scene goes beyond the bagels and into the realms of meat. Specifically smoked meat and there is no better-known place to get the smoked meat than at Schwartz’s, which has been making the stuff since 1928. Today Celine Dion weirdly has some sort of ownership in the place, but I went hoping this had little to do with the popularity.

The line to actually be seated was out-the-door crazy, but Schwartz’s has a to-go area with a few counters that we took advantage of. I went with the regular Smoked Meat Sandwich, which consisted of the meat, mustard and rye bread. Usually I would have ordered without the mustard because I’m just not a fan of the stuff, but keeping it just seemed like the right thing to do. When I unwrapped my half-pound of meat it looked pretty tasty. When I dug in, I was met with a pretty great-tasting smoked meat sandwich. The smoked meat, by the way, tasted kind of like a midway point between corned beef and pastrami and that midway point was awesome. So awesome, in fact, that I really didn’t mind the mustard and the sour flavor it added.

It may be a touristy spot, but Schwartz’s is definitely worth a visit for anyone looking to expand their knowledge of cured meats or just to get a great Jewish sandwich in French Canada.

Just a couple of weeks ago, a new pizza place opened in Culver City called Wildcraft. Their schtick is the use of sourdough in their pizzas, which is cool with me, but I’m not sure if it entirely qualifies as being wild. Nonetheless, I was eager to try it out and see just how wild and crafty it would be.

We started with an appetizer of their Meatballs. Made with a blend of beef and pork, these unkosher balls were served in a “tomato gravy” and topped with grana padano cheese. The so-called gravy was really just a marinara sauce and quite good. Also good were the balls themselves, having a great texture, flavor and moisture level.

For my pizza, I decided to get a little wild and ordered one called Carnage. This pizza wasn’t symbiotic (that’s for you, Spider-Man fans) and instead came with porchetta, house pepperoni, pancetta, fennel sausage. It was a cacophony of meat, plus provolone and scamorza cheese. Carnage was in the “Red” section of the pizza menu, meaning it came with tomato sauce and communism, as opposed to the “White” section, which I assume came with a vitamin D deficiency.

The result of this mix of assorted cured pig meats, cheese, sauce and dough was quite delightful. I enjoyed the sourdough, which added an interesting twist to the pizza, and I loved that each slice had to be folded in order to be eaten because of the shear weight of meat. In addition, I appreciated the use of provolone and scamorza cheeses instead of the typical mozzarella. This helped give the pizza an additional complexity of flavor that regular mozzarella doesn’t usually offer.

The only trouble with the pizza was the price tag. Yeah, I know it was good, but $16 for my Carnage $8 for the Meatballs means Wildcraft won’t exactly be a go-to pizza place if I want to preserve my savings account. Despite this, it is certainly worth checking out and I couldn’t be happier to have an upscale pizza place like this in my neighborhood.

Sometimes it’s hard to decide where to eat. Sure, I have a list of places, but they aren’t always in convenient locations. That’s when I turn to things like Groupon, because if I’m going out to eat somewhere I’m unfamiliar with, I’ll be damned if I pay full price. On this particular eve, I found a discount for an Italian place in West LA called Campagnola Trattoria.

When we arrived, we found Campagnola Trattoria inhabited a nice-sized space and had a nice-sized menu to go along with it. We started things out meaty, with the Bresaola E Pecorino, which translates to slices of cured beef, with olive oil and shaved pecorino cheese. It’s a loose translation, but the combination is something quite delicious, which I found to be very similar to carpaccio, but better. But as good as it was, it can be a bit overwhelming and is definitely for sharing.

For my main course, I opted to design my own pasta. Usually this means I order gnocchi with whatever sauce catches my eye that night, but there was something on the menu that threw me completely off. It was a pasta called Malloreddus and the menu described it as “Semolina Sardinian Gnocchi.” It’s actually closer to the ancient gnocchi and needless to say, I had to try it.

I ordered it with Carbonara sauce and when it arrived, it looked like a bunch of silk worms swimming in old milk. Yes, it looked that good. But in all seriousness, it was really delicious. The carbonara sauce had a great balance of flavors, and the pancetta was especially good. The pasta was great as well. although the malloreddus had very little in common with normal gnocchi, aside from being dumpling-esque, it was a worthy replacement. Well, at least for a night.

In general, I have to say I was impressed by Campagnola Trattoria. Yet, I did feel that the prices were a bit steep. Sure, I had a discount, but without it I might have left with the feeling that I unloaded too much of my wallet on very good food that I could have eaten elsewhere for less.