State Fairs are often an afterthought. A relic of times past when most of us lived in rural areas and guessing the weight of a pumpkin was the best entertainment of the month. They offer variations on the same rides, foods and entertainment that you find at your local Memorial Day Carnival or County Fair and, I mean, how many people even go to those? But the Minnesota State Fair is so far from an afterthought that it seems to be on the minds of Minnesotans for the 50 weeks of the year in which it is not in operation. Plans are made, new foods are devised and longed after; then, just like that, it’s over again. This year, however, the Unvegan paid a visit to see how it would all stack up.

Swedish Meatball Smorgas – The Blue Barn

It’s not all about gluttony. Sometimes it’s just about doing something no one ever thought of. Like putting Swedish meatballs on a roll, pouring white gravy all over them and then topping them with lingonberry jam and dill pickles. I was smart enough to order without the pickles and it paid off in pure sweet, salty and savory deliciousness.

Mangonada Shave Ice – Minnesnowii Shave Ice

You wouldn’t think Minnesotans would be fans of shave ice since they live among it for so much of the year. Yet, the Mangonada is real and it is fascinating. Packed with mango syrup, drizzles of chamoy sauce, popping boba (for some inexplicably genius reason), spicy tajin powder and a tamarind straw (for some inexplicably strange reason). The straw was useless, but the rest of this was somehow light, refreshing, hearty and spicy at once. And with all that, it just somehow worked.

Giant Juicy Turkey Sandwich – Turkey To Go

Being a first timer, I couldn’t just go with new stuff. And, frankly, I wasn’t too excited about getting a turkey sandwich. But, my buddy told me it was well worth it and, well, it sure was. I added bacon and a sweet glaze to mine and it was unbelievably juicy for what’s generally the driest fowl of all. As I drove past many a wild turkey in the Northwoods, all I could think about was how juicy they could be in sandwich form.

Blu – Grain Belt

I love blueberries and I love beer. It makes sense that I would like a blueberry beer, right? Wrong. It seems to be that the special beers at the Minnesota State Fair are pretty much all sweet, but this took that sweetness way beyond balance and into juice territory. Good thing I had all kinds of savory and salty foods to counter that sweetness (and don’t worry, I still drank the whole damn thing).

Gizmo – Carl’s

The Gizmo is another classic, and yet it is churned out by pretty much the most nondescript cart in the whole fair. Sometimes you just know you’re good and it’s hard to go bad when you are an Italian roll filled with ground beef, Italian sausage, red sauce and a layer of melted mozzarella cheese to seal all of the goodness in.

Sweet Greek Cheese Puffs – Dino’s Gyros

Ricotta and Feta. Flaky phyllo dough. Powdered sugar. More than a drizzle of honey. I am a many who loves his sweet and salty combos and these Sweet Greek Cheese Puffs did more than satisfy that craving. It may have gotten a but too sweet toward the end when the honey congregated in the corner with the remaining puff, but these were a treat.

Zesty PB&J Sausage – Gass Station Grill

It doesn’t sound right. Nope, not at all. But if you’ve been paying attention to burger places lately, mixing peanut butter, jelly and some sort of spiciness is all the rage. It’s only natural that it made its way into a tube steak. While each bite may have been somewhat inconsistent, there is no doubt that this works. If they can get that peanut buttery and jelly-y goodness more evenly distributed, this sausage could take over the world.

Turducken Sausage – Giggles’ Campfire Grill

Not all sausages are created equal. Or is it something about the size of the sausage versus what you do with it? Regardless, the Turducken sausage didn’t just lose the battle of the sausages, it barely seemed to fight. It was too tightly packed, the grind seemed off and really all I could taste was the turkey, with maybe a touch of chicken. Perhaps in years past this may have flown, but in the world of the Zesty PB&J sausage you have to be oh so much better than this.

Passion Fruit Pilsner – Bent Paddle Brewing

Duluth is a cool city. And it sent a pretty cool beer down to the state fair. It’s not a sour per se, but does it’s best to harness the tartness of passion fruit and churns out a pretty unique pilsner that is not too sweet and not too sour. It’s not just right either, but it’s good enough to make the drinking enjoyable.

Bacon-Wrapped Pork Belly – The Hangar

You don’t go to the state fair looking to eat a balanced meal. But nowhere is that lack of balance more exemplified than in this pork on pork action on a stick. It was so unbelievably juicy, smokey and salty forcing the use of dozens of napkins lest your face runneth with juices that would later congeal into something resembling a wax museum. While this may be perfection in meat form, the critic in me did wish there was some sort of a sweet and acidic dipping sauce like apple cider vinaigrette or a cherry reduction to accompany this meaty concoction. Despite that, the universe seemed to pause in recognition of the beauty of each bite of this masterpiece.

Fried Cheese Curds – Everywhere

Some day I’d like to pull an Andrew Zimmern and try every cheese curd purveyor at the fair. Until that day, I am a satisfied man as long as the place knows to stick with the white variety of cheddar, to fry them just right amount of time to maintain the squeakiness and to only lightly batter them lest the batter overpower the cheese. It’s not the tallest order, but it’s not the easiest one to fulfill either. Plus, when you’re coming from Arizona all cheese curds are good cheese curds.

Whelp. That’s a wrap. The pilgrimage is complete. Now if only I can figure out a way to make this an annual thing…or at least get to Iowa somehow…

The space between fast food burgers and gourmet burgers is a crowded one. Over in Portland a spot called Killer Burger did so well in that space that they decided to set up shop in Scottsdale. Scottsdale is oh so different from Portland, but hell, I’ll take any new burger spot outside of a vegetarian patty specialist.

Plus, Killer Burger had a burger that seemed to be created for my kind of people. It was called the Meathead and is composed of two patties, bacon, cheddar, grilled onion and house sauce. The house sauce sounded disgusting (some sort of mix of mustard and mayo) and grilled onions are grilled onions, so I ordered without either. All burgers come with fries and hey, that’s pretty cool. And then there are games like Jenga at each table in case the burgers take more than the five minutes or so that it took for mine.

When my Meathead arrived, it looked just as it did in the menu picture. The cheddar was basically oozing out from between the meat and bun, and the bacon on top was heftier than one might expect. The fries were somewhere between fast food and steak fries, and seasoned to perfection. Upon biting in, the burger had a sense of familiarity and newness at the same time. It was as though Killer Burger had upgraded In-N-Out Burger in every way imaginable. The patties had mild caramelization to go with a perfect texture within. The cheddar was flavorful and a much-preferred cheese over American, while bacon simply makes everything better. Plus, don’t even get me started on the fries, which had been both fried and seasoned perfectly with a similar balance of texture to the burger; being crispy on the outside and fluffy on the inside.

I hope with all sincerity that Killer Burger does well in Scottsdale. It provides a perfect middle ground that is often missing in the burger scene. It won’t be easy to compete with Shake Shack, but is a very worthy choice.

I have a hard time driving by burger places regularly without paying a visit. And yet, Lush Burger in Scottsdale evaded my belly for too long. This would have to be remedied and so I made my way there. I was amused by the naming of the burgers on the menu, ranging from Jay Does ‘Shrooms to Hello….?!?! Can Anyone Get Me A Bacon Cheeseburger Around Here?!? with amazingly lengthy descriptions.

I ordered The Yippee-I-Ayyy!, which is essentially Lush Burger’s take on the western-style burger with onion rings, cheddar, BBQ sauce and bacon. I opted for fries on the side and ordered medium-rare. Of course, I was disappointed to find that the burger also came with ingredients that were not listed on the menu. You know, like lettuce, tomato and a devastating pickle spear right next to the burger. I had to remove all of these immediately before getting my mouth around the burger. And when I did, I found the burger to be, well, pretty good.

I wish I could say it was more than pretty good, but frankly it was a burger that lived up to its expectations and didn’t really go anywhere beyond that. The fries were freaking delicious though, clearly making use of the chip on the shoulder that results in being second fiddle to a pretty good burger.

And, of course, it is difficult to get over the pickle, lettuce and tomato. So, you can go to Lush Burger and you probably won’t be disappointed, but you also shouldn’t expect to be overly impressed either. Unless you’re talking about the names and the descriptions.

Traveling for work can sometimes take you to big cities with tons of food. And sometimes it can take you to places like Idaho Falls, Idaho. It’s a place with a surprising amount of options considering the airport only has three gates, but, I mean, still. So on my first night there I went straight to a restaurant within a hotel, which is usually not a good plan, but I had read good things. It was called Bee’s Knees.

I took a look at the menu and immediately knew it was my kind of place. I kicked things off with Bacon Cheesy Fries. After all, I figured I needed potatoes in Idaho more than anything else. This was a wise choice, as the fries weren’t just topped with cheese, they were loaded with the stuff and then clearly spent some time in the oven to ensure it would all kinds of melty. The house-made bacon bits were also a nice touch and the cilantro ranch was easily the best sauce to dip in.

For my meal, I went with the Jalapeno and Cream Cheese Stuffed Burger. In addition to those stuffings, it was also topped with cheddar and brown sugared bacon. It came with a choice of a side, and lettuce, tomato, onion and a side pickle. By my waitress’s recommendation, I opted for the mac and cheese, opted out of all that other stuff and then attempted to order my burger medium rare. Unfortunately, I was told that Bee’s Knees doesn’t cook the burgers to order. This was disappointing to hear, but I figured it would still be good.

It arrived and I’m not sure I had ever seen such an attractive burger. It was loaded with cheese and bacon so much so that I couldn’t even see the meat in there. The mac and cheese looked pretty nice, too, with a pretty char on it. I dug into the burger and it was…well…tough. The meat was simply overcooked, and there wasn’t enough cream cheese stuffed inside to make up for that. And frankly it’s a shame, because everything else about the burger was fantastic. But, I mean, you gotta the core right.

That mac and cheese, however, kicked ass. It was creamy shells and cheese, and just what I needed to accompany a burger, especially one that fell short of my expectations.

So, maybe Bee’s Knees is not a burger place. They sure know how to make food look pretty, but only the sides really lived up to expectations.

Where I come from, microbreweries are known to have good food. But, as I have learned, many parts of the country (perhaps all except Oregon?) are much newer to the micro or craft brewery concept and have focused much more on the beer than the food. Arizona, though, while new to the union and pretty new to brewing seems to have struck the right chord. Perhaps it’s because there are so many damn people here from Michigan, but whatever the case I was eager to get myself a non-media meal at SanTan Brewing Company ( you can check out the media one here).

I snagged myself a pint of beer (Hazy Horse for those of you who care) and quickly moved on to ordering a meal. I went with the Chipotle Bacon Cheeseburger because it was topped with delicious-sounding foodstuffs like house-smoked chipotle bacon, pepper jack cheese, aged white cheddar, chile lime mayo and LTO. I ordered medium rare, without the LTO and with fries on the side.

It came out looking picture-perfect and as soon as I took a perfect picture I plopped that bun on top and went to work. It was everything I had hoped it would be and more. The bacon was nicely crisped, the burger was cooked exactly as it should have been and the flavorings just worked beautifully with each other. And the decision to go with double cheese should be applauded.

While the burger exceeded expectations, perhaps the fries were the most surprising thing about the meal. SanTan was not willing to simply roll with ordinary fries, but sliced them thick and battered them with ale before deep-frying them. It gave them a nice golden-brown crisp and soft, supple interior.

SanTan Brewing Company has definitely embraced the idea that not all people go to a brewery for a beer and it would be hard to find that more exemplified than in the Chipotle Bacon Cheeseburger.

You probably wouldn’t expect Phoenix to be the most Italian of cities. After all, there is not Little Italy and the Mafia is more of an East Coast thing. Yet, Phoenix definitely has some homegrown Italian favorites and Babbo is one of these. Babbo invited me out to its Scottsdale location for a hosted dinner and I took them up on the chance to check it out.

It began with the house bread, which was served with a plate of balsamic vinegar and kalamata olive oil a popular option recently.

Despite the roasted onions atop the bread, this made a strong first impression as I probably ate a whole meal’s worth of that bread. But this was just the start and I made sure to massage my stomach to make way for an appetizer of my choosing.

We chose the Firecracker Rolls, which are essentially Babbo’s take on egg rolls. However, instead of being filled with whatever egg rolls are filled with these days, they came with three filling options. The first was steak, jalapenos, onions, provolone and mozzarella. The second was Italian meats, provolone and mozzarella. And the third was buffalo chicken, mozzarella and gorgonzola. We tried all three with a marinara dipping sauce. I was partial to the buffalo chicken option, but that’s because there will always be a special place in my heart for buffalo flavored things in the summer. The steak packed a nice punch that was even spicier than the buffalo and the Italian meats is really something that should please anyone.

For my main course, I went with the Three Cheese Mac and Cheese. It’s described as “This ain’t no kids meal!” and that ain’t no joke. I had never seen anything like this called “mac and cheese” before because it could probably better be described as penne pasta in a spicy cream sauce, but that should in no way distract from the tastiness of this dish. In reality, it used a smokey chipotle cream sauce mixed with cheddar, mozzarella and gorgonzola, plus bacon, sausage and croutons with penne in there.

Its probably not even proper to call it a grown up mac and cheese, but moreso it is a conduit to eat all of the things you normally want to eat, but look somewhat classy as you do. I loved the kick of the chipotle, the bacon was delicious and that sausage just added another great element. The only thing I might consider questioning is the croutons. I can only try to guess that they were tossed in there to seem like a grown up version of breadcrumbs and to give some crunch. Yet, sometimes you just don’t want to mess with a good thing like breadcrumbs because breadcrumbs are already plenty grown up.

We finished off our meal (honestly I don’t know where the stomach space came from) with Stuffed Churros. These were those same egg rolls, but stuffed with a ricotta cream cheese (basically cheesecake filling) and topped with nutella and strawberry sauce. These were delicious, but I know you’re here for the savory stuff so I will try my best to just stick with that.

Babbo did some unique things and deserves a lot of credit for that. I mean, stuffing buffalo chicken in an egg roll can’t even be remotely described as Italian and yet Babbo figured out a way to get away with it. They upped the stakes for mac and cheese and really eased themselves into a dessert that also can’t remotely be considered Italian and yet it, too, worked like a charm. If you stick to the straight Italian food, you’ll probably leave thinking “Hey, that was like Olive Garden, but much better and I don’t hate myself after eating the food.” If you give some of the more unique options a chance, though, you’ll not only leave Olive Garden in the rearview mirror, but actually look forward to a return visit.

Sometimes burgers build up a reputation. Whether by winning awards or word of mouth, it happens. This happened to Aioli Burger in both ways. Yeah, it won some burger battles, but also people told me about it and that doesn’t happen as much in Phoenix as it did in LA and Pittsburgh, so I figured it had to be real. Plus, I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention that I got a taste of Aioli Burger at the Scottsdale Culinary Fest earlier this year. Basically, the hype was real.

So I arrived and got a look at the menu. The burger that called out to me the most was the California Burger and it’s not because I spent so much of my life in California, but because it was topped with avocado, a fried egg, pepper jack cheese, chipotle aioli and pickled red onions that I had no need for. I ordered up a side of the Signature Loaded Fries, which were topped with Kiltlifter cheese sauce, avocado, chipotle aioli, bacon and again those goddamned red onions that nobody likes. I took a number and awaited my food, hoping it would be onion-free.

It was onion-free, so that was a good start. The burger was a beautiful sight to behold and I beheld it very quickly into my mouth. The flavors played very nicely with each other and the burger was well-seasoned and cooked nicely. While I had been expecting something a bit more gourmet (for literally no reason whatsoever aside from a strange hunch), I was perfectly happy to find that this burger fit into the realm of whatever comes after fast casual.

The fries were also pretty solid, although the way they were plated made it seem like the portion was small. It wasn’t small, but it also wasn’t very big. It was, however, quite tasty. The fries were plenty crispy and able to withstand the combination of cheese sauce and aioli, but the avocado seemed just randomly thrown on and with poor intention. Honestly, if you’re just going to throw two slices of avocado on a huge plate of fries, you better be more intentional about it.

All that said, Aioli Burger has the goods. It may not be blazing an exciting new trail in burgerdom, but it’s worth eating if you find yourself near the truck or brick and mortar locale.

Scottsdale and breakfast go together like peas and carrots. Well, assuming those peas and carrots are nowhere near me. But having breakfast near me is good, so it became time to check out Ncounter in Scottsdale, its third location after presumably finding success in Tempe and Phoenix. I’m not sure what the “N” stands for, but the rest of the name is descriptive of the ordering style of the restaurant, so that made sense.

I ordered the Chipotle Egg Burrito, which is packed with bacon, avocado, cilantro, potatoes, scrambled egg, cheese and chipotle sauce. And it was really very good. I appreciated each ingredient in balance and really loved the flair of melting extra cheese over the top of the thing both for style points and for taste points. No bite was the same as the last, but none were overwhelmed by any single ingredient either.

This wasn’t a burrito to end all burritos, nor was it even a burrito I would necessarily go for on a later visit to Ncounter, but it was unquestionably a burrito worth eating and one that made me think Ncounter probably has a bunch of other really solid food waiting for an unvegan to eat it.

Everybody just looooves the Fox Restaurant Group in Phoenix. But can there ever be too many Fox restaurants? I headed to The Greene House in Scottsdale’s Kierland Commons in my continuing quest to find out. The Greene House is a modern American restaurant showcasing things like salads, sandwiches, fish and chicken. As in most similar situations, my eyes went right for the burger.

This wasn’t just any burger, but a Kobe Burger topped with aged cheddar, bacon, butter (fancy) lettuce, tomato (of the vine-ripened variety) and thousand island dressing. I continue to assert that Kobe Beef in a burger is waste of Kobe Beef, but since it was the only beef option I managed. I ordered without the lettuce and tomato, then went with medium rare. I also chose the mac and cheese as my side, and must say I was glad to have mac and cheese as a regular side option instead of just fries or a salad.

Yet, despite my joy about mac and and cheese, the results were…fine. I mean, i don’t know if any of the Fox restaurants know how to make bad food, but there was nothing special about either the burger or the mac and cheese. There was no lack of execution or anything, but just felt like a lack of inspiration. If I’m being fully honest, my stomach was asking me why I walked by Shake Shack on the way to The Greene House without just getting my burger there.

It’s really hard to say enough good things about pub food, but I’m about to say some more. Because for my last meal in Salem, I made my way to the Olde Main Street Pub in the hopes that this Irish place would have food fit for an unvegan. After a bunch of seafood, beef and pork, it was time to taste the what Salem had to offer from the poultry realm.

Thus, I ordered The Chicken O’Brady under the assumption that it was named for Tom Brady, the New England and Michigan Wolverine hero. This sandwich began with a grilled chicken breast and was topped with bacon, cheddar and honey mustard. It also came with fries. Unfortunately, even though I asked the waitress to keep any vegetables away not named in the menu, the sandwich still arrived with a bunch of veggies on one half of the bun. These were easily removed, but a total waste of precious vegetable life.

And really, this was one of the better chicken sandwiches I have ever had. The bacon was placed with such care that it was evenly dispersed across the sandwich instead of lackadaisically criss-crossed atop the chicken. The cheese was melted into delicious gooey oblivion and the fries were seasoned to perfection and fried in all the right ways. The only thing I could have asked more was more chicken, as the breast was kinda small.

This sandwich was a great way to close out the visit to Salem, and while it wasn’t anything groundbreaking, it was beyond what you should reasonably expect from an Irish Pub in a old New England touristy town.