I’m going to say something unpopular. Bloody Marys are the worst. Tomatoes suck, celery sucks and there’s just something weird about spicy drinks. But I must say that I am glad that Hash Kitchen has made the big bucks off of having an incredible Bloody Mary bar. Why? Because it has enabled them to expand out to Chandler for their latest Grand Opening. And because I got to snag a bunch of the meats and cheeses from the Bloody Mary bar to decorate my beer. It may be frowned upon normally, but at the Grand Opening anything goes. As expected, the bacon was the best.

Having eaten at the Scottsdale Hash Kitchen locations a couple of times, I thought I knew what to expect from the Grand Opening. Regardless, here were some of the samplings.

Herb Fried Chicken and Waffle

With thick cut bacon, fried leeks and a warm maple reduction.

Avocado Toast

Using the split-top biscuit from the benedict, this is topped with avocado, carnitas, an over easy egg, green chili salsa and more of those fried leeks.

Carnitas Hash

Read more on this beautiful stuff here.

Cannoli Donuts

The biggest surprise of the night was how incredible the darker of these donuts were. Aside from the custardy filling, these donuts tasted as close as I’ve ever had to Cider Mill donuts this side of the Mississippi and that’s basically the best compliment a donut can get.

Fruity Pebbles Cereal Shooter

Fruity Pebbles dust, loopy vodka, rumchata and milk. A sweet and creamy way to get morning booze.

In all, I didn’t need convincing that Hash Kitchen is delicious, but it was definitely great to try some new things from the menu. Chandler is a lucky place to now have its own rendition of Hash Kitchen.

Where I come from, microbreweries are known to have good food. But, as I have learned, many parts of the country (perhaps all except Oregon?) are much newer to the micro or craft brewery concept and have focused much more on the beer than the food. Arizona, though, while new to the union and pretty new to brewing seems to have struck the right chord. Perhaps it’s because there are so many damn people here from Michigan, but whatever the case I was eager to get myself a non-media meal at SanTan Brewing Company ( you can check out the media one here).

I snagged myself a pint of beer (Hazy Horse for those of you who care) and quickly moved on to ordering a meal. I went with the Chipotle Bacon Cheeseburger because it was topped with delicious-sounding foodstuffs like house-smoked chipotle bacon, pepper jack cheese, aged white cheddar, chile lime mayo and LTO. I ordered medium rare, without the LTO and with fries on the side.

It came out looking picture-perfect and as soon as I took a perfect picture I plopped that bun on top and went to work. It was everything I had hoped it would be and more. The bacon was nicely crisped, the burger was cooked exactly as it should have been and the flavorings just worked beautifully with each other. And the decision to go with double cheese should be applauded.

While the burger exceeded expectations, perhaps the fries were the most surprising thing about the meal. SanTan was not willing to simply roll with ordinary fries, but sliced them thick and battered them with ale before deep-frying them. It gave them a nice golden-brown crisp and soft, supple interior.

SanTan Brewing Company has definitely embraced the idea that not all people go to a brewery for a beer and it would be hard to find that more exemplified than in the Chipotle Bacon Cheeseburger.

I’ll be the first to admit that long ago I wrote off Kona Grill as a generic bar and grill kind of spot with reheated food for yuppy types. Yet, when my coworkers and I ventured out for lunch one day and found ourselves at Kona Grill in Chandler, I didn’t protest because it still deserved a fair shot and who would I be to not give it one?

While literally everyone else at the table ordered the chopped salad, obviously I was not going to take that route. Instead, I went with the BBQ Chicken Flatbread. It was topped with cheddar cheese, BBQ sauce, the chicken itself, gouda, red onion and cilantro. Looking back, it was probably the gouda that sold it for me more than anything else because gouda is god’s cheese. I ordered it without the onions and eagerly awaited the hungry looks on everyone else’s faces.

The hungry looks came as they realized just how cheesy this flatbread was and certainly I was happy to find this cheesiness as well. In fact, it even seemed like the flatbread was actually prepared in the kitchen because it was slightly misshapen. Admittedly, it was pretty satisfying. I mean that in the sense that Kona Grill did what it had to do. Was it anything special? No. And while I would never seek out Kona Grill just to get a taste of that flatbread, it at least proved to me that I could find something reasonably good to eat if I found myself there again.

Indian Fry Bread has a tragic, complicated history. Yet, it has also grown beyond that to shine a somewhat positive light on the Native Americans of the Southwest as the bread has made its way beyond the reservations. The Fry Bread Truck is proudly sling the bread around the Valley of the Sun with some interesting twists.

After much deliberation (and veggies in every option), I chose the Indian Fry Bread Burger. It was essentially that delicious fried dough wrapped around two cheeseburger patties with beans (a must for fry bread), lettuce and tomato. Let me start by saying that each of these components were delicious. The fry bread had a perfect amount of fluffiness inside to combine with the slightly crispy outside and a whole lot of oil retention. The burgers were plenty juicy and the beans did what they do. I also enjoyed both the red and green salsa options to toss on the burger.

But man, something was just off about this combination. I expected a heavy meal out of this fry bread burger, but I didn’t anticipate just how difficult it would be to get through it. I think it was simply too much savory without any balance of competing flavor profiles or lightness. I’m thinking guacamole or just straight avocado would have gotten the job done.

Sure, I would get it again, but I would probably also tweak the recipe in some way if I were running the truck to add more balance to the burger.

I am a big fan of all you can eat Korean BBQ. After, what kind of a horrible person wouldn’t be a big fan of that? But, since moving to Phoenix I’m pretty much down for Korean in any way I can get it, even if I have to pay for individual dishes. Thus, when I had the chance to pay a visit to Gogi, a Korean spot in Chandler I jumped on it.

As is always my internal debate, it took me a while to decide that the Galbi lunch special sounded better than the Bulgogi lunch special. The special came with rice and all the banchan (side dishes and pickles and kimchi and stuff) one can be expected to eat, which is what the non-special comes with as well, but at a higher price with presumably more meat.

The meat was served on a bed of onions, which I am generally not a fan of, but can handle it if it means the delicious onion flavors steam their way into the meat without attaching their texture. Fortunately, that was the case. As for the meat, it was quite delicious, packed with the sweet and salty flavor I’ve come to know and love. It was also super tender, so you could say it was the full galbi package.

So, while Phoenix may not quite have the Korean options that LA does (and, frankly no place outside of Asia does), there’s definitely at least one place to go to when I get that craving for Korean meats.

It is a very rare occasion in which I make a meal out of fries. It is even more rare that this happens at a Greek restaurant. Yet, when Pitta Souvli in Chandler offered up a special called Chipotle Gorgonzola Cheese Gyro Fries, I couldn’t resist. There was just one problem: nowhere in the description of the fries were tomatoes mentioned. And yet, as you can tell by the picture to the left, there were obviously tomatoes involved.

Fortunately, the tomatoes were all piled on top and they don’t leave too much of a residue, so when I removed them I could eat in peace.

And what peace it was. These fries were freaking delicious. I mean, it’s hard to go wrong with combining the delicious slices of gyros with spicy chipotle pepper flavor, a couple of cheeses and a base of fries. Moreover, these fries were so loaded that I was physically incapable of finishing them all.

Pitta Souvli knew exactly what to do with these fries, but it’s probably important to recognize that they aren’t a part of the regular menu and were a special on this day. Hopefully after reading such a glowing review, Pitta Souvli will realize these fries need to be a part of the regular menu, albeit without those goddamn tomatoes.

Being in the media has its advantages. Case in point: getting to check out the menu and beers at SanTan Brewing Company in Chandler. For this event, SanTan wanted to highlight beer pairings and the normal menu without any specials, but also showed off the backroom where the brewing is actually done. Unlike other breweries I’ve been to, we were encouraged to bring a beer along for the tour, and that beer was the StrataBlaster IPA, part of the brewery’s pilot series and a great place to start.

SanTan founder Anthony Canecchia (a Four Peaks “defector”) stands between the tanks that started it all for SanTan, which were acquired from the DuClaw Brewing Company in Baltimore, Maryland. SanTan just celebrated its 10th anniversary, making it seem a bit old in the world of craft brewing, but the DuClaw tanks show that craft and micro brewing have been around long before the recent trend.

The MoonJuice IPA was paired with a salad, so whatever on that. But the IPA was tasty, being brewed not with the more well-known Cascade or Bavarian hops, but with Galaxy and Nelson-Sauvin hops originating from Australia and New Zealand, respectively. You could say it’s out of this world, but considering how grounded (in a good way) the IPA tasted, I’ll just say it’s from the other end of the world.

The HefeWeizen was paired with the Pesto Chicken Pizza. And while the pizza is not exactly unvegan-friendly – featuring mushrooms and spinach, I could appreciate the core of the pie – namely the crust and pesto sauce. I’m also not generally a hefe fan, but the Arizona heat seems to be pushing me in that direction. Despite looking the contrary, SanTan’s hefe is not filtered, but the cloudiness simply settles out in the brewing process, leaving a crisp, if not overly exciting hefe. Full disclosure, I haven’t had an exciting hefe in a very long time.

The Devil’s Ale is probably the best-known of SanTan’s beers, if for no other reason than the fact that the Arizona State Sun Devils make their home not far from Chandler and have pretty much adopted the beer as their own. It’s a very drinkable American Pale Ale and pairs so well with the carnitas enchiladas that I got to thinking they should rebrand it as Cerveza del Diablo to start getting it into all the local Mexican restaurants.

Ah, the Winter Warmer. It’s a beer that probably has no place in the Phoenix area due to the lack of a concept of winter, yet just felt right at SanTan. It was borne out of necessity due to the Great Hop Shortage of 2008, which was actually a thing, but has become a favorite of local SanTan drinkers, drawing a line annually when it taps. Like any good winter warmer, the beer evolves as it warms, leaving you with a very different final few sips than the first few – in a good way. The winter warmer is always served with the house made ginger snap cookies that some people like to throw into their beers for an added touch. But not me, I was perfectly happy to switch off between bites and sips, enjoying every last drop and morsel.

If you want to be the second (because we were the first) to try out the 2017 Winter Warmer, SanTan is hosting a vertical tasting on November 15th, giving you the chance to go back in time to 2014, 2015 and 2016 and taste the difference that a few seasons of winter warmers can make.

Or, you could show up on November 20th for the official tapping, but then you’d be the third group to try out the 2017 Winter Warmer and while getting the bronze medal might still get you on the Olympics Podium, you’ll always know you could have done better.

I went into Cold Beers and Cheeseburgers expecting to get some cold beer and a cheeseburger. And pretty immediately, I knew this would not be the case. It started with a delay to my beer because they were out of what I wanted. That was fine, because places run out of beer all the time and so I went ahead and ordered a new one. But then, I was told that it was Monday and that meant $12 build your own mac and cheese with basically whatever the hell you want in it.

So I dove into the mac and cheese headfirst. I added avocado, bacon, truffle oil, beef chili, blue cheese, green chiles and pepper jack cheese. Oh and breadcrumbs too. It was perhaps the richest bowl of pasta the world has ever seen and I went to town on it. Despite the fact that the FDA never should have allowed this to be made, it was actually made in a very balanced way. Nothing had been skipped out on and I downed bites of all the individual ingredients with glee.

Eventually I hit a wall and couldn’t eat anymore. But I ate anyway. No regrets, right? Well, maybe. I mean it was delicious, but I might have gone over the top. I’m certainly glad I did it, but when I inevitably make my way back, I’ll be sure to stick with the original plan of grabbing a cheeseburger to go with my cold beer.

Like in LA, food trucks are a thing in the Phoenix area. And it makes much more sense here because everything is so damn spread out. Pasadena spoiled me. But I digress. The good news is that my office is all about bringing food trucks in every month (not for free, of course) to mix things up and to keep us from driving literal miles to the nearest food. This last time, it was Sweet Magnolia Smokehouse, serving up BBQ.

I was the first in line because I was hungry, but also because I wanted to learn what the best food was. The guy running the truck that day highly recommended the brisket in sandwich form, so despite my previous painful brisket experience I took him up on it and ordered it regular sized because I’m trying not to be the fattest person in the world. Quality over quantity, right?

Oh, I should also mention that it came with cole slaw and a side. I chose the mac and cheese and let them no there was no need for slaw because I’m not a stupid rabbit.

It arrived on a bun doused in BBQ sauce. Doused, I say. But honestly, I didn’t really mind it. Sure, I would have taken about half the sauce, but somehow the brisket itself was still able to shine through, all chopped up and full of smokey goodness. A couple of the bits were kind of tough, but that’s a minor complaint in the grand scheme of brisket. The mac and cheese was actually pretty fantastic, with a great noodle to cheese ratio and relative moistness that I found comforting.

Sweet Magnolia Smokehouse may not be the best brisket in the land, but it definitely serves up some solid BBQ – albeit with some questionable sauce volume.

In all that time I lived in Pittsburgh, it became apparent that hot dogs are super important. And it’s not just about the classic Dirty O or D’s Six Pax & Dogz, which is one of the hot dog spots ever. It’s about all the liquor stores that are allowed to sell booze because they also sell hot dogs because of stupid Pennsylvania alcohol laws. Yet, there’s no real signature hot dog. Enter: Wimpy’s Paradise in Chandler, Arizona.

Yes, Arizona, which seems to be the center of the Pittsburgh Diaspora. Wimpy’s Paradise is totally unrelated to Wimpy’s in Rochester, New York and was started by a guy named Randy and was inspired by the fact that his dad had started a place by the same name in Pittsburgh back in the day. Despite living in Arizona for decades, Randy is a Pittsburgher through and through and couldn’t have been more excited about the case of Yuengling someone had just brought him back from Pittsburgh. Thus, it is no surprise that he created a hot dog called The Pittsburgher.

The Pittsburgher begins as a 1/2 pound all beef dog, which is then topped with chipped ham that is cooked with butter and cheddar cheese. Before I go further, I should say that I somehow managed to never hear of chipped ham, which is like a war ration version of ham that is somehow super popular in Western Pennsylvania outside of the Carnegie Mellon bubble that I existed in. At Randy’s suggestion, I also topped my Pittsburgher with bacon.

And while that sounds like an overwhelming hot dog, it was actually just right. The toppings didn’t overflow and played really well with each other. The hot dog itself was plump, snappy and juicy, while the chipped ham was different from your typical ham, being sliced super thin and cooked all buttery-like.

For ordering something that I thought would put me into a food coma, I left Wimpy’s Paradise feeling perfectly full, but most importantly energized by finding a little taste of Pittsburgh in the desert.