The Unvegan

Recent Posts

10 Years of Unvegan
A Quick Bite at Burrito Express
Serendipity at Northern Waters Smokehaus
Twerks and Burritos at Casa Amigos

‘National Chains’

3/4/2009 Los Angeles

Subway

Is there any meat in there?
Is there any meat in that mess?

A few years ago, Subway changed the name of the “Meatball” sub to the “Meatball Marinara.” I’m not sure why this particular change occurred. Maybe it was to placate healthy people who would be more attracted to the word “marinara.” I never felt this was a particularly bad thing, after all, rebranding to increase sales is a huge component of our capitalistic system.

That all changed when I went to the Subway at Pico and La Cienega. I ordered a Meatball Marinara sub on Italian herbs and cheese bread, with provolone and parmesan cheese. It seemed like such a great idea, until I started watching the man behind the counter make my sub.

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1/22/2009 Los Angeles

Taco Bell: Bacon Cheddar Gordita Crunch

The Gordita Crunch...of DOOM!
The Gordita Crunch…of DOOM!

In reading this article today, I knew something had to be done quickly to defend the good name of Taco Bell.

If you haven’t noticed yet, I am uncomfortably (and unhealthily) in love with the Cheesy Gordita Crunch, without lettuce. It represents all that is good in this world and I often find it difficult to push myself to eat anything else.

Recently, a friend alerted me to the newest Taco Bell creation, the Bacon Cheddar Gordita Crunch. The name alone is enough to make the weak queezy, but I simply could not believe that my world could be graced with genius! If bacon can improve donuts, why not the gordita?

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1/7/2009 Hawthorne

Costco

A couple of the post-shopping delights Costco has to offer.
A couple of the post-shopping delights Costco has to offer.

While most people associate Costco with huge quantities of products, I like to think of it as a great place to grab a quick bite to eat.

Beyond the free samples, Costco actually has somewhat of a restaurant, offering a few cheap meals, from chicken bakes to pizza.

By far, the best deal to be had is the hot dog combo, which is a 1/4 pound Kosher beef dog, with a drink for $1.50, but sometimes that isn’t enough. On my most recent trip to the Costco in Manhattan Beach, I also helped myself to a huge slice of pepperoni pizza. These deals are not just available to Costco members, but to anyone from the unvegan world.

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1/2/2009 El Segundo

Whole Foods Market

This is as meaty as Whole Foods gets.
This is as meaty as Whole Foods gets.

Despite all of my kicking and screaming and my best attempts to avoid it, I found myself stuck at Whole Foods Market in El Segundo with some colleagues for lunch.

If I ate fiber, the very concept of Whole Foods would go against every fiber of my being. It takes seemingly untouchable products like potato chips and makes them healthy (tasteless). This Whole Foods in particular jumped to a whole new level of anti-unvegan, offering all sorts of food cooked-to-order. I got chills as I walked by what I believe was an entire olive bar, but I was afraid to make eye contact for fear of burning my retinas. I shuddered as I walked past the multiple salad bars and finally made it to what seemed like a safe haven, the Mexican section. The Ranchero Burrito, with carne asada, looked like a decent unvegan choice, so I ordered mine with cheese, salsa, rice and beans, being careful to avoid the Pico de Gallo and potentially dangerous greens.

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12/24/2008 Culver City

Chipotle

Corn is nothing more than an indigestible grain.
Corn is nothing more than an indigestible grain.

In the past few years, Chipotle has burst onto the Mexican fast food scene. The layout of the restaurant and apparent freshness has quickly made even the most healthy forget that it was created once owned by McDonald’s.

Luckily, the unvegan in me has not forgotten this and I embrace the unhealthiness of Chipotle with the voracity of a reckless child with the metabolism of a horse.

Last time I had Chipotle, I went to one in Culver City and ordered their signature meal, the burrito. One of the beauties of Chipotle is their assembly line style of burrito-making. They have certainly come a long way since Henry Ford.

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12/11/2008 Los Angeles

Papa John’s

A pair of glorious meatsa pizzas.
A pair of glorious meatsa pizzas.

In just a few years, Papa John’s has gone from a second-tier pizza chain to the top level, joining Domino’s and Pizza Hut. It even has branches in China.

The Papa John’s on National Boulevard in LA offers a fantastic $6.99 carry-out special for a large, one-topping pizza. Last time I went, I ordered pepperoni and sausage, the two greatest meats to ever find themselves atop a pizza.

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12/3/2008 Los Angeles

Taco Bell

Behold! The Cheesy Gordita Crunch...and partner.
Behold! The Cheesy Gordita Crunch…and partner.

People look at Taco Bell in many different ways. Some worry about the meat quality. Some are willing to wait 30 minutes for it on their lunch break. Some think it is true Mexican food. Some refuse to eat it. Whatever can be said about Taco Bell, there is no denying that it is a late-night refuge for the hungry and/or intoxicated.

I am lucky enough to have a Taco Bell in LA that is open until 4 am. Every time I go, I leave with a story, so with these thoughts in mind, I set off for Taco Bell around 2 am.

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12/2/2008 Los Angeles

Fatburger

It's good to be the king.
It’s good to be the king.

The mere fact that a place called Fatburger is able to survive in today’s world is a testament to it’s culinary goodness. In a city dominated by “organic,” “whole” and “vegetarian,” it is a beacon of hope. At the entrance there is a sign that reads “Man did not claw his way to the top of the food chain to eat tofu,” but it is more than just a sign. It is a message, a message that you have arrived at a safe haven in a world gone health-mad.

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11/26/2008 Charlotte

Manchu Wok (CLOSED)

It's hard to order food without vegetables when it's pre-made...
It’s hard to order food without vegetables when it’s pre-made…

Stuck in the Charlotte Airport between flights at dinner time, I was hankering for some Chinese food. Enter: Manchu Wok, a Panda Express-style Chinese fast food place. I stared at the strange variety of stir-fried meats that mildly resembled what my own wok would look like if I tossed every single food in my kitchen into it. I decided to order the “Pick 3 + Noodles or Rice” and do my best to avoid dishes with vegetables. My chosen trifecta was Sweet and Sour Chicken, Pineapple Chicken and General Tso’s Chicken, with noodles.

The food was lazily all tossed together into a styrofoam container, which made it virtually impossible to tell the differences between the different chickens.

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11/25/2008 El Segundo

Quizno’s (CLOSED)

I couldn't make this look good, so I opted for the open-face look.
I couldn’t make this look good, so I opted for the open-face look.

Today I ordered Quizno’s for lunch. Quizno’s, a sub shop can be found just about anywhere in the country. Apparently in El Segundo, California, they have delivery and it’s quite fast. It had been a few days since I had some (good) red meat, so I ordered the Prime Rib and Peppercorn. On top of the prime rib, the sandwich comes with mozzarella cheese, sauteed onions and a mild peppercorn sauce. I made sure to get mine without the dastardly onions.

I’ve had Quizno’s before and it has never been spectacular, so when my sandwich arrived, my expectations were pretty low.

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