‘Vegans’
The movie What the Health? has been blowing up lately. Even so far as pushing NFL left tackle Trent Williams to become a vegan. I haven’t yet seen the movie, but I do know that movies or other pieces of media show up like this here and there, only to have copious responses trying to debunk them and whatnot. I’m above all that, but when Trent Williams came out to say he cannot continue his vegan diet, I was ready to jump on it.
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It’s happened before, and once again the vegans have used their love of vegetables to kill a baby. Last time, it was the French, but now the vegans have brought baby killing into America. Now, the baby-killing may have occurred in 2004, but just last week the killers were convicted of their heinous crime.
It began with a simple Twitter @ reply. You know the kind that happens every day. But soon it spiraled into something no one could have ever seen coming.
Debt ceiling got you down? War and instability in the Middle East making you feel unloved? Casey Anthony getting away with murder pissing you off? I get it, the world is having some problems, but such problems are nothing compared to the biggest problem the world is currently facing: Bacon Prices. Cue the wailing.
While there are many obvious nutrients missing from the diets of vegans, there is one essential element that is typically passed over: iodine. This element is particularly important in a pregnant woman’s body because “low iodine can increase the risk of miscarriage and thyroid problems in moms, in addition to mental disabilities in babies.”
As if Bolivia wasn’t troubled enough as one of South America’s only two landlocked countries, now it has a whole new problem with the onset of veganism. If you know a vegan or vegetarian, the odds are that you have heard of a strange little plant called quinoa.
It’s a vegan-eat-vegan world out there today (although not literally, because that would be decidedly unvegan) and if you’re one of those meat haters, it’s getting harder and harder to know who to trust. The latest schism comes from an expose at quarrygirl.com. In this expose, it is revealed that VegNews, “the nation’s leading vegan magazine” has been using images with meat in them. That’s right, delicious succulent meat has successfully infiltrated the pages of VegNews, making it unvegan!
As a fellow member of the Chosen People, Natalie Portman has always been pretty special in the Jewish world. At some point in their lives, every Jewish male has had a thing for her. And I know it’s not just limited to members of the tribe. Yet, Jew or not, the day Natalie Portman converted to veganism something inside of me died.
No, this isn’t a dead baby joke. If it were, the title might say something like, “What’s the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies?” (You can’t unload the bowling balls with a pitch fork) Sadly, this is no such joke and perfectly good baby child has perished at the hands of unfit vegan parents.
Once upon a time, there was a blog called The Voracious Vegan. For those who know the English language pretty well, they will recognize that voracious means the desire of large quantities of food. This is pretty appropriate for a vegan, because I can’t imagine any amount of that sort of food can be filling. In fact, after 3.5 years of a vegan diet, The Voracious Vegan herself, Tasha, also found this out.