The Hat is one of those local LA fast food spots that has been around forever and seems to be in no rush to change. It has “World Famous Pastrami,” but is not limited to just one meat, because the place also serves burgers, roast beef dip and crazy big portions of sides. I mean crazy. Just look at that order of chili cheese fries on the left and try to comprehend how small the individual fries look.

But while the chili cheese fries were great, I decided to make their Pastrami Burger my meal, combining cured beef with grilled beef. Knowing there would likely be veggies, I pre-empted by saying I wanted the burger plain aside from the pastrami and cheese. I snagged a bunch of their awesome variety of condiments for myself and fellow eaters, but ended up sticking to the horsey sauce. The result was a really tasty fast food burger. Moreover, the pastrami was piled way high and really quite tasty. It easily beat out the pastrami burger from the Arctic Circle in Utah, making up for the lack of fry sauce with probably the world’s best condiment options.

To be clear, though, this was undoubtedly a fast food burger. Despite The Hat’s claims to be a casual place, the food does not fall into the fast casual bucket and seems to embrace that fact. It’s a real throwback place to a simpler time in which communists were taking over the world and this was undoubtedly the first of many visits to a this beautiful capitalist enterprise.

Not too long ago, a new place called Burger Lounge made its way into Beverly Hills. Well, new is a relative term, as the place has been hanging out in San Diego for years. As with all intriguing burgers, I knew I had to test out it and recruited my buddy from San Diego to accompany me. He had frequented the lounge down in SD back in the day and I thought he would be helpful in my quest.

I immediately realized he was a good choice, as he started recommending various things on the menu. Of course, there was only one thing I was really after – the Lounge Burger. Yet, I followed his lead by ordering a Mini Vanilla shake and splitting the Half and Half onion rings and fries. But before I get down into food details, I first need to mention that nothing about the place was “loungey.” In fact, it looked like just about every other fast-casual restaurant I had ever been to.

But I was not there for the decor. I was there for food and drink. The drink part, my vanilla milkshake came first and was quite tasty. I hadn’t had a shake in a while and this was a pretty good one. My only gripe, though, is that it came out way too quickly. Even drinking conservatively I finished it long before my burger arrived.

When it did arrive it looked quite awesome. I had ordered it without its onions, lettuce and tomato, then opted for white cheddar as my cheese (it was either that or “organic American”). It also came with house-made 1000 Island dressing. One thing that did not look awesome was the cheese, which was clearly not white. Yet, for its part the American cheese was better than I expected. The burger had a pretty thick grind and hand-shaped feel that I didn’t expect and was cooked really nicely. The outside was slightly crisp and charred, while the inside was nearly a medium-rare. I say nearly because half the burger (like one side of it) got deep pink, while the other side was at a relative medium. I don’t know how they did it, but it was better than expected. And the bun was pretty perfect, holding together strong when the burger got juicy without interfering with the flavors.

The Half and Half turned out to be a great choice, despite coming in a strange conic container preventing us from digging for onion rings. Ultimately, we had to pour out the contents onto the plate that came with them. Burger Lounge is supposedly “Certified Green,” but this egregious waste of paper really made me wonder. Nonetheless, the seasoning in the onion ring batter and on the fries were great. It wasn’t your average seasoning salt, but something more complex and more worthwhile. Yet, I have to say I was disappointed by how stubby the fries were. It was like we got the remains at the bottom of the bag, because finding an inch-long fry required a whole lot of digging.

In the fast-casual landscape Burger Lounge scored some winning marks. They definitely had a few kinks to work out, but are likely safe in their realm of burgers.

I have a coworker who has a problem. The problem is she is a vegetarian. Gross, right? But not by choice. You see she is lacking the enzyme that breaks down meat in her body, so the simple act of eating meat makes her violently ill. It’s really the only acceptable form of vegetarianism, yet there is one place she will always eat meat, stomach be damned. That place is Cafe Rio. It’s a seemingly generic Mexican place that I have driven past many times in Manhattan Beach and brushed off. But little did I realize that Cafe Rio is huge in Utah. Like real huge. And it’s about to get even huger. There are currently 40-something locations, but they are planning an expansion on the scale of 100 restaurants. So when one opens across the street from you, remember you read about Cafe Rio on The Unvegan first. With my coworker in mind, we finally stopped at Cafe Rio to what all the meat fuss was about.

The place is set up in an assembly line format similar to Chipotle, but with a whole lot more options. Looking at the menu, apparently we made it pretty well-known that we had never been before. Suddenly, we were greeted by a guy working there who explained everything on the menu and offered us samples of any meat we wanted. And first he gave us a sample of their fresh-made tortillas to test out. It was delicious. The menu said their Sweet Pork Barbacoa was their specialty, so I tried some of that, their Chile Roasted Beef, their Fire Grilled Chicken and their Fire Grilled Steak. I was surprised to find my favorite to be their Chile Roasted Beef, which somehow beat out the Fire Grilled Steak due to some amazing flavoring. The barbacoa was my second favorite and another customer told us their secret: they cook it in Coke.

So I went with the Chile Roasted Beef burrito for $6.75. In it, I had them add pinto and black beans, lime-cilantro rice, cheese and hot salsa. Then, they made me an offer I couldn’t refuse. This was to have them splash more salsa on top of the burrito, top it with cheese, heat it up and make it a wet burrito. Um, yes please. But I wasn’t yet sure how hot the salsa was, so I had them douse my burrito in medium. It was a beautiful sight and I couldn’t wait to dig in.

And when I did, what I tasted was nothing short of amazing. Stomach aches? Weak. I would risk kidney stones to down a burrito such as this. The flavor of the beef is beyond comprehension, but all at once it’s semi-sweet, salty, juicy and meaty. The meat was definitely the centerpiece to the burrito and while the rice, beans and cheese were all nice, they had nothing on the meat. Which brings me to the salsa. I quickly discovered that the salsa within the burrito was not too spicy at all and could have easily been the salsa for the burrito to swim in. But, I’m glad I tried the medium salsa, because it was awesome. In fact, it was literally sweet. Coupled with the savoriness of the rice, beans and cheese, this salsa added a strange, yet delicious balance to the burrito. Next time, I’ll swap the salsas and get that sweetness on the inside.

And there will be a next time. And a time after that. And a time after that. Because Cafe Rio is awesome. From the amazing customer service (seriously, everyone there seemed to feel honored to work there) to the meat to the salsa, it was a burrito to remember. Move over, Chipotle.

While there may be 120 Pizza Factories in five different states, the original Pizza Factory has humble roots in the town of Oakhurst, just outside of Yosemite National Park. And after a long day of staring at and walking through giant sequoias, very little sounds better than some greasy pizza. I hoped Pizza Factory would be able to deliver said pizza. Plus, with a tagline like “We Toss ’em, They’re Awesome” it’s hard to go wrong.

We ordered a large to split with 3 people (one of whom swore to only eat one because she was eating a dastardly salad as well) and got pepperoni as our topping. Then we took a seat out side in their sukkah to wait for our pizza to be ready.

When ready, the beautiful pizza looked almost too good to eat. Almost. Dripping with grease and topped with loads of pepperoni, I pulled off a slice. And what I found was delicious. Purely delicious. The crust was the perfect thickness and had the best texture for a round pizza like this, and did I mention the loads of pepperoni? Loads! So much so that my dad was pulling them off because he couldn’t handle them. I had no trouble handling them, though. The only problem, and it pains me to say this, was that there actually was too much grease. I don’t mind a ton of grease on my pizza, but when there is so much that it fills the whole pan with oil and makes the bottom of the crust soggy, it’s a problem. Not because of the grease, but because nobody wants a soggy pizza.

So for the first couple slices the pizza was grand, but as the grease began to pool and soak in the pizza began to deteriorate. It didn’t ruin the experience, but certainly didn’t help.

A long night of drinking compelled me to head to Norm’s Diner in West LA. Of course, this decision wasn’t the best I’ve ever made, but my decision of what to eat at Norm’s was a far worse one.

When I walked in the door, their specialty of the night/morning was on display and even a long look at their long menu couldn’t take my mind off of it. The special was a Filet Mignon, with eggs, hash browns and pancakes. Yes, pancakes. Whoever thought of this one was clearly on something that made him happy and delirious. Best of all, it was a whopping 10 bucks.

As I waited for my inevitable disaster, I went on a search for steak sauce, knowing that whatever came from the kitchen would need enhancement. When my food came, the filet looked as grotesque as I expected. I’m not sure what sort of genetically engineered cow the meat came from, but it looked like no filet I had ever seen. Perhaps it was from a healthy cow, just now the same part that a filet mignon typically comes from. I was glad I had steak sauce.

The meat was tough, but not terribly difficult to cut through. It was definitely a relief when I was cutting through pancakes or hash browns instead. Aside from the steak, everything else was so-so. It was all certainly enough for a late-night drunken meal, but no replacement for food I could have gotten in the normal hours of the day.

I discovered a Togo’s coupon at work that seemingly granted me one of the cheapest meals ever. It said that I could get a free sandwich with the purchase of chips and a drink. Not too shabby in a world that usually offers minor discounts on chips and drinks after you purchase the sandwich. I decided to try it out and see how good of a deal it really was.

I handed the lady behind the counter the coupon and proceeded to order the meatiest sandwich available. The best I could find was the capicola, salami and provolone. Keeping it simple and veggie-free, I didn’t get anything else on it. I picked out my chips and drink, and went to get rung up. Amazingly, the total came to $2.73! I couldn’t believe what a deal I had somehow been granted. Cheap, however, is not always the best thing. I had to make sure it still tasted alright.

When I unwrapped it and began eating, I have to say I was pretty happy. It didn’t compare at all to the Godmother from Bay Cities in terms of freshness, processedness or the bread, but I wasn’t going to complain for $2.73.

In all, Togo’s gave me a decent meal for an amazing price. I’m not sure the full price would have been worth it for what I got, but if I ever need a decent meaty sandwich, I can count on Togo’s (especially if I have a coupon).

The never-ending search for a great happy hour in LA led me to Islands, a burger chain out in the west that reminds me a bit of Applebees with an island theme (what island that is, I cannot tell).

For their happy hour, they offer a great discount on drinks, as well as half-priced apps. They had some good-looking unvegan apps like Tiki (Chicken) Tenders and Cheddar Fries, but when places offer half apps, there’s really only one food I have in mind: Buffalo Wings!

With the knowledge that the wings came with carrots and celery, I made a great personal sacrifice and allowed the dish to come with them so my girlfriend could eat them. I know that makes me look soft, but at least I had spicy wings and beer. I also asked for blue cheese dressing instead of ranch. I’m really not sure who decided that ranch would go well with wings, but that person was wrong. It’s all about the blue cheese.

The wings were surprisingly good, and very spicy. I had to use a good amount of the blue cheese and beer to keep my taste buds functioning. Even so, they had a good, generic flavor that wasn’t overwhelmed by the heat.

Next time I need a good meal at a very cheap happy hour price, I’ll have to keep Islands in mind.

NOTE: While this location may be closed, this review unquestionably applies to all other Tommy’s

When I first moved to LA, a friend of mine told me a story about Tommy’s Burgers. Apparently the success of the original Tommy’s spawned a multitude of strange chili cheeseburger places with various spellings of the word Tom or Tommy. In all this confusion, I didn’t know where to find the place that started it all, until my friend enlightened me to the location of an Original Tommy’s in Santa Monica. Now, even though it is called Original Tommy’s, the true Original Tommy’s is on LA’s east side. Confused? I was too. At least until I got to Tommy’s.

Once I got there, everything became clear to me. Having just finished a game of tennis, I found the way to reproduce all the calories I had incidentally burned, the Mega Combo. This combo featured a triple chili cheese burger and chili cheese fries, with a drink bigger than my office’s water cooler. This Mega Combo is not just a meal, it’s a gamble that you’ll survive eating it long enough to look back on it with pride, like storming the beaches of Normandy. I had to make it mine.

To get the purest, most unadulterated burger, I ordered without pickles, onions, tomatoes and mustard. Even with the crummy debit card surcharge, my meal cost $9, and once I saw my Mega Combo, I knew it was worth every penny.

The bun was so loaded with ingredients that it couldn’t hope to contain and I tried my best (read: failed) to keep it clean. Every bite was filled with artery-clogging delight. I had ordered my fries well-done in the hopes that they wouldn’t lose the crunch after being drowned in chili and cheese, and my plan worked. The crunchy fries made the perfect companion to my brush-with-death burger.

When I finally finished it all, I wanted to stand upon a podium and thank all my adoring fans. Instead, I just did my best to retain my memory of the burger while supressing thoughts of how much shorter my life expectancy had become.

Not to be outdone by the free grilled chicken giveaway at KFC, El Pollo Loco decided they were going to give away some free chicken of their own on April 28th. Rather than simply giving away a free drumstick, El Pollo Loco jumped to the next level by giving away a drummie, a thigh, two tortillas and, of course, salsa from the salsa bar was included. There was a catch, however, that you had to say “I wanna taste the fire” when you ordered. Being my shameless self, I had no trouble proclaiming my desire for fire when I reached the front of the long line.

Within a few minutes, I had received my food. They were working like an assembly line in the back of that restaurant, giving them the edge on KFC for timeliness. When I opened my styrofoam box, I have to say I had low expectations. Although I had never had chicken from El Pollo Loco, I did have a disappointing experience with their regular Mexican food.

I sliced off the pieces of chicken from the thigh and put them in the tortilla. Then I took my two sauce choices, spicy avocado and salsa de arbol and poured them on top to make a sort makeshift hobo burrito. I bit in and was pretty happy with what I got. The chicken tasted a lot better than KFC’s grilled chicken, and it was great that El Pollo Loco really went all out with their free chicken offer. If I’m ever in the mood for grilled chicken from a fast-food restaurant, my choice will have to be El Pollo Loco.

PS: The Free Food Rating is different from my regular rating, since I went to El Pollo Loco solely for the free option and all food tastes better when it’s free.

While never my first choice in late-night food, Del Taco is sometimes just too damn convenient to go anywhere else.

Despite the obvious Mexican origins of it’s name, Del Taco eschews the Mexican fast food norm by tossing in a few American favorites, like fries and burgers.

These additions definitely help cater to the late-night crowd like me, but they also take away a bit of Del Taco’s identity. When I go to a Taco Bell, I know I’m getting Mexican food, but when I go to Del Taco, I can’t be sure of what sort of food I’ll be ordering until I get there.

I found that a good combo involves a selection from their value menu. I like to start with their half-pound bean and cheese burrito with green sauce. The cheeseburger, without pickles, makes a good companion. To finish it off, I like a dose of the regular nachos. Sometimes, when I am in the mood for more meat, the spicy chicken burrito makes a nice substitute for the bean and cheese. This combination makes for a pretty decent unvegan meal, but I always finish thinking I could have done better. The burrito is a great value, to be sure, but the nachos seem like they were just taken out of a plastic bag. The cheese on the nachos, as well, feels entirely generic. Meanwhile, the burger is good for a Mexican fast food joint, but doesn’t really hold up if you compare it to the likes of Wendy’s or In-N-Out.

In the end, it’s enough to leave me content, but not enough to make me crave.