The Unvegan » Venice

Hinano Cafe: The Diviest Cafe of Them All

The Unvegan — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 17:00:19 +0000

Which came first?

Ever walk into a “pizza parlor” that actually functions as more of a full-on Italian restaurant? Or how about a “Japanese place” that only serves sushi? We are constantly being misled into restaurants that either offer a lot more than expected or a lot less. And then there is Hinano Cafe in Venice, which only a crackhead would consider to be a cafe. You see, Hinano is pretty much the definition of a dive bar. Sawdust coats the floor, there are maybe five real tables and the two guys behind the bar take turns dishing out beer or flipping burgers on the lone griddle in the middle of the bar.

The most unique cafe ever.

We arrived about five minutes before the end of happy hour and walked up to the bar to order. Since the bar was called Hinano, it only seemed right to order Hinano Beer, which comes from Tahiti. I’m not sure whether the bar is named for the beer, vice-versa or if it is just a happy coincidence, but perhaps it is best to leave such questions in the realm of the chicken or the egg. As my buddy and I tried to order our beers, we were quickly met with a bad attitude as the bartender yelled, “Just tell me what kind of beers you want.” We were under the impression that we had been telling him what beers we wanted, but apparently this wasn’t the case. We repeated our orders and when he came back it was time to order food.

Food at Hinano, by the way, consists of anything that can be easily made on a griddle. And I mean easy, as they don’t even dive into the realm of teriyaki chicken. But I was here for one thing only – a burger. Hinano kind of has a reputation for their burgers, which are not only cheap, but supposedly damn good. Their cheeseburgers run the same price as regular hamburgers and anything can have bacon, hot links or chili added for an additional charge. They can also be stacked into a double for the same price as adding bacon. They usually come with smorgasbord of toppings like tomatoes, lettuce, pickles and onions, but I wanted none of these. I ordered myself a double cheeseburger with bacon, plain. In no time, my burger and a bag of chips were brought out to me. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that they don’t have a deep fryer, so Hinano is a no-French fry zone. Instead, every burger comes with Fritos, Doritos or Lay’s. And you don’t seem to get a choice of chips, as my friend requested Lay’s and wound up with a bag of Fritos.

It looks like my burger just vomited a pile of veggies.

But back to my burger.

It was sitting on a paper tray basking in its own beauty, which I suddenly realized a pickle was getting way frisky with my bun. By the time I arrived on the scene, he bun had been impregnated with the juices of the pickle and a huge chunk could not be salvaged. Damn you, pickle!

With partial bun removal behind me, I went to work on the burger, which was quite good. It was plenty juicy, what remained of the bun held its own and the American cheese had been melted to perfection. The bacon was at a fast food thickness and probably not worth the upgrade price, but still a nice addition. Sometimes nothing can quite beat a simple bacon cheeseburger prepared on a griddle in the middle of a dive bar. Yet, while I enjoyed the burger, I couldn’t help but think that similar burgers exist in diners across the country. I know I’ve had my fair share of burgers like this one, but it’s probably the setting and the price that makes people fall in love with their burgers and brings them back for more, moreso than the burgers themselves.

For my part, I thought that while the dive atmosphere was great, I’ve had better, less pretentious service at places like Father’s Office, which thrives on an air of superiority (although the Hinano burger definitely tastes better). If you need a change of pace, by all means, Hinano is going to give you that, but as you eat your burger you might want to ask yourself whether you like the burger or just like the idea of eating a simple burger in a dive setting. If this were truly a cafe, I just don’t think the burger would taste so good.

The Wrong Sandwich at Lemonade

The Unvegan — Thu, 30 Dec 2010 17:00:21 +0000

This is more like it.

Walking into Lemonade in Venice is at first quite frightening. This is because the place is set up sort of like a buffet/cafeteria and while that alone can be frightening to someone, the real frightening part is that the entire first section of the lineup is salads. And while these are more like your creative sweet potato or radish than lettuce and tomatoes, there is certainly a staggering amount of veggies. I quickly looked around to see if they had anything I could eat and found a nice menu that detailed some of the real food that Lemonade had to offer.

There was actually a whole section of menu dedicated to Fish and Fowl, and some of these looked good, but I felt like I was in more of a sandwich type of place, so I kept searching. What really caught my eye were the Pot Roast Sandwiches (served in Sourdough Rustic Rolls, which I guess is really different from urban sourdough), and one of them in particular looked especially delicious. This was the Beef Short Rib and Mac and Cheese. I asked the woman behind the counter whether that sandwich came with any other ingredients and she assured me it didn’t. As we walked down the aisle I saw that these sandwiches were quite literally borne of pot roasts, because they had the pot roasts themselves on display for all to see. The simmering short ribs looked delicious and I couldn’t wait to make them a part of me. The sandwiches generally come with some sort of greens, but there is also an option to get a couple of their strange salads instead of the greens. Although I had no desire to be a part of such food, I did get a couple of those salad-esque sides for my girlfriend. I am so selfless.

We also got some of their namesake lemonades to accompany our meals. What makes their lemonades unique is that they mix in herbs like mint and rosemary with their ades. Some see this as creative, but I see it as strange flavors getting in the way of juice. I did, however, try the Pomegranate Tarragon lemonade, which had such a subtle tarragon flavor that I could handle it. Plus, who doesn’t want to imbibe dragon herb?

Sorry, wrong sandwich. Actually, not sorry.

We paid up and took our numbers back to our table to await some sort of sign that our food was ready. About 10 minutes later, the sound of my name was the sign that I needed. I walk up to the counter to retrieve our sandwiches and noticed something strange about mine. It was certainly beefy, but there was something amiss. This thing came in the form of a green tomato. I asked the man behind the counter if this was actually the Beef Short Rib and Mac and Cheese sandwich and he assured me it was, so I brought it back to my table ready to write a complainy blog post about how the first person didn’t warn me, but as I removed the green tomato slice, I found that there was a strange stash of jalapenos and a complete lack of macaroni. I looked at the menu I had at the table and realized I had been given the complete wrong sandwich. Instead of my wholesome unvegan order, I had been given the BBQ Brisket, Green Tomato, Cheddar and Jalapeno Sandwich.

Upon discovering this, I brought the sandwich back up to the counter with my receipt and explained my issue. The people seemed confused, as though this had never happened, and after a minute they told me they would redo my sandwich. No apology was offered, which was fine by me, but after a few minutes of preparing sandwiches for other patrons, it was apparent that they hadn’t rushed to right their wrong.

A lot of beef and a pinch of mac.

Finally, after a wait nearly as long as the original, my name was called again and my sandwich was ready. This time it was the real thing. I hoped that it would be better than their customer service. Luckily, it was. The beef was incredibly tender and the spices it had been cooked in made it very flavorful. But really the sandwich ended there. Although putting mac and cheese in it was a nice thought, it really added nothing to the sandwich in terms of flavor or texture. In fact, if the mac and cheese hadn’t been there at all, I don’t think the sandwich would have tasted any different. I’m not sure if this means the beef was so good or the mac and cheese was so blah, but whichever it was, I would have liked to have felt like I was eating all the ingredients of the sandwich.

Needless to say, my trip to Lemonade was disappointing. I understand that restaurants make mistakes and I certainly don’t fault them for that, but I do fault them for not heeding my question of whether I got the right sandwich and later making very little attempt to fix their little mishap. This wasn’t about me being an unvegan who hates vegetables, it was just disappointing service and a sandwich that didn’t make up for it.

Cultural Devolution at Mao’s Kitchen

The Unvegan — Fri, 27 Aug 2010 15:00:59 +0000

Will this improve my vision?

After what feels like years of hearing about the deliciousness that dwells within Mao’s Kitchen in Venice, I finally found myself an opportunity to try the place out. A big perk of the place was that it was BYO, so I grabbed a sixer of tasty beer and brought it along to see if Mao’s could really be good Chinese food. Before delving into the meal itself, let’s take a moment to consider the name of Mao’s Kitchen. Honestly, I’m not so sure I would want to eat whatever Mao would have served. Most likely it would have involved mass atrocities and a side of untimely death. Cultural faux pas aside, I was still drawn in by their reputation for culinary goodness.

The menu wasn’t entirely inspirational, but did include names like Mao’s Hometown (“Made just like Mao’s mama’s in Hunan Province!”) and Long March Camp Fry, but none of these mattered to me if they couldn’t make a tasty Kung Pao Chicken. So as usual, I took a look at my favorite dish, but found Mao’s Kung Pao ($10) to be a lot different from what I’m used to. This one came with onion, green onion, bell pepper, carrots and finally peanuts. That was a whole lot of vegetables to order without, so at first I decided to be a nice guy to the waitress and only order without the two onions and bell peppers. After realizing where I was going, though, the waitress asked if I wanted to go veggie free. I replied that yes, I do have the appetite of a 12-year old and would simply like chicken, peanuts and sauce. Apparently her brother (who may happen to be 12 years old) ate the same way, so this wasn’t too nuts for her.

Not too long after the order, the meal arrived. What was this? A plate full of carrots? Surely she had realized carrots were a vegetable, but maybe the mistake had come from the kitchen or elsewhere. Either way, this made me an unhappy unvegan. Sure, throw a few carrots in with my meal and you might get marked down a notch, but when I can hardly find the chicken buried under a pile of carrots, then we have a problem. Even without carrots, though, the meal would still have left me wanting more. Although the chicken was nice and tender, the sauce tasted really generic and had no kick to it. It was almost like a thickened soy sauce and very un-Kung Pao. And on top of that, peanuts (the cornerstone of Kung Pao), were dashed few and far between.

It all added up to a most disappointing meal and restaurant I won’t be returning to. Sorry Mao, but your Kung Pao didn’t take that great leap forward.

LA’s Best Burger at 26 Beach?

The Unvegan — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 16:00:46 +0000

Awesome sign.

Recently, a Facebook burger competition (very scientific) crowned 26 Beach in Venice as the best burger in LA. Now you may be asking yourself, “What the hell is 26 Beach?” and you are not alone, because even I had no idea what the place was until contest began. Somehow this unknown burger contender topped my personal favorite, Umami Burger. I couldn’t let this stand, well at least not without trying it myself, so off I went to 26 Beach to see what sort of witchery pushed their burger to the top of the heap.

Now that is a claim.

When I arrived I found out that they were not a one-burger place. 26 Beach had a bunch of good-looking burgers (ranging from 14 to 19 smackeroos). The burger that had actually won the competition was one of those 19-dollar burgers. It was called the Chef Katsu’s Original California Roll Burger. That’s quite a name and quite a burger unfit for this unvegan. This Angus burger is topped with snow crab salad, avocado, ginger, nori, shoyu-wasabi-aioli, baby mixed greens and tomato. First off, I don’t love me some sushi, so eating sushi on a burger would be no good for my taste buds. Second off, that is just too many toppings. Sure, I love me some bacon and egg on a burger here and there, but those are flat and manageable, not some unholy menagerie of beef and sushi.

The Unvegan has no need for the "best" burger.

Quickly dismissing this burger, I moved on to greener pastures. It was truly difficult to choose from their great options, but I finally settled on their Prosciutto Burger. This 19-dollar monster was topped with prosciutto di parma, triple creme cheese, fig compote, baby mix, heirloom tomatoes and mayo. I ordered mine without the fancy baby mix and heirloom tomatoes. It came with a side of fries to make me feel a little better about dropping nearly 20 bucks on one burger.

The Prosciutto Burger seems more like a contender for best burger.

After a bit of a wait, all of our burgers arrived. I glanced at those who ordered the “Best Burger in LA” and knew I had made the right choice. These burgers weren’t some amateur little fast food burgers. These were massive beef patties that almost made me forget the small fortune I had dropped on mine. I dug in a met with a nice variety of flavors. The bun was fluffy and buttery and the burger itself was cooked perfectly with a nice, thick grind. The cheese was gooey and tasty, but when combined with the prosciutto it kind of overwhelmed my taste buds with salt.

I wanna see you on the inside.

Something was needed to cut through the salt, something was missing. Oh yes, the fig compote. After a few bites, I found where the fig compote was hiding and this brought a great balance to the burger. Unfortunately, the compote wasn’t spread throughout the burger and with each bite, I hoped that there would be fig involved to bring balance to my mouth. Sadly, it wasn’t always there.

The Prosciutto Burger at 26 Beach was definitely a great burger. Unfortunately, lack of balance kept it from being one of the best burgers I have ever had. I’m definitely up for another visit to 26 Beach to try some of their other interesting burgers, but their prices are probably going to keep me away for some time.

An Amusingly Tasty Burger at Beechwood

The Unvegan — Fri, 12 Feb 2010 17:30:04 +0000

Thank you for being tasty.

Heading into Beechwood, I was feeling a bit skeptical. Bars in Venice can tend to be a bit trendy, especially the food-serving kind. Once inside, part of my skepticism was confirmed, with strangely shaped lounge seats and a half hour wait even though we had reservations. Oh well, at least they had a pretty sweet beer menu so I could have a little something to drink while waiting. They had a pretty cool-looking wheat beer called Moosbacher from Germany. Since I like moose and wheat, I figured these would outweigh my distaste for Germany, and I was right. It was quite good and came in a huge bottle.

About midway through my beer we were seated. I took a look at the menu and was surprised by the high prices. Since when did bar food become so pricey? Luckily, we were able to order from the special bar menu and I found something that looked great, at least in name. It was called the Amusing Ground Rib Eye Burger and hey, I like to be amused. It came with BBQ sauce, gruyere and arugula. The arugula did not amuse me so I ordered it without and then got it cooked medium. It was nice that even though this was a semi-pretentious place, they were willing to take changes, unlike some gastropubs I know (achem Father’s Office achem)

Moose!

It arrived and looked pretty swanky. The bun had some sort of swirly design on it that gave it character and was nice and soft. I chomped down and was really impressed. You may even say I was amused. The burger was nice and moist without being juicy and drippy and the house made BBQ sauce went really nicely with it. It was also nice that it came with fries, unlike some gastropubs I know (achem Father’s Office achem).

Overall, I was pretty satisfied. The place in general was a bit expensive and pretentious, but they made up for that with some good beers and quite a good burger. It may never get the acclaim that other gastropubs do, but the Amusing Ground Rib Eye Burger definitely deserves to be up there.

Borderline Okay at the Border Grill Truck

The Unvegan — Tue, 02 Feb 2010 17:35:56 +0000

Sweet design.

Finally, I feel like I’ve been to just about all of the food trucks in LA that I have any desire to visit. Yes, I know I haven’t been to all of them, but I think I’ve been to enough to justify paying a visit to the Border Grill Truck, despite the fact that the Border Grill is already a restaurant I have been to. I guess I just wanted to see how an upscale Mexican restaurant could translate into a truck. People seemed to be enjoying their food outside of the truck, so I went to see if I could partake in their enjoyment.

They were actually running a special that looked quite nice to me. It was Chorizo Hash Taquitos with Chipotle Crema. Sounds perfectly unvegan, right? So I ordered two for five bucks. Just to be sure, I asked if the taquitos came with anything else on them, like vegetables, and was told they didn’t.

FURY.

So imagine my surprise as the taquitos were handed to me and covered in dreadful pico de gallo. Obviously I had been lied to and I grabbed a fork from the truck to scrape off this awful concoction of tomato and onion. Unfortunately, this also scraped away the chipotle crema, leaving me very little to actually taste for myself. With these vegetables taken care of, I took a bite of the taquitos and discovered even more objectionable vegetables, peppers! And this wasn’t just one bite of anomaly. Interspersed throughout these taquitos were peppers (and not the hot kind, which are tasty) that were nearly impossible to remove because of the closed-off nature of taquitos.

Unfortunately, the edible parts of the taquitos weren’t tasty enough to justify such liberal vegetable use. The chorizo was decent, but hard to taste over the peppers. The chipotle crema on top was also decent, but probably would have been better if I could have eaten more of it. If only they had told me my meal was going to be invaded by veggies, I could have not ordered it. Instead, I was misled, which made things even worse. Sorry, Border Grill Truck, but five bucks is a high price to pay for an okay taquito special filled with lies.

Fighting for Frankies at India Jones

The Unvegan — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 23:08:29 +0000

Hello Frankie.

I visited the India Jones truck at good old First Fridays evening on Abbot Kinney. The area was pretty packed, but I had been following India Jones on Twitter and was eager to try them out. When I got there, Mr. Jones himself was dealing with a horrible skater punk who had decided to steal a can of Pellegrino. It was an uncomfortable situation, because the skater guy was obviously a terrible person, and luckily someone stepped in and grabbed the can to return to Jones. One of his idiot friends decided to hit the truck with his skateboard and ran away, because he was like a child, and although Jones chased after him, it was to no avail, the buffoon had gotten away. After seeing this, my hunger for some food from this truck grew even more. Jones was willing to defend his truck and fight against dumb hooligans, so I was happy to support. And by support I mean order food.

I decided I had to get one of their frankies, which is a street food from India. The frankies here included cilantro tamarind chutney, chopped onion and egg, all wrapped in a thin bread for $3.50. I ordered mine with lamb and without onion. After a few minutes it was ready and looked great. I tasted it and it was pretty great. It was onion-free, but had some delicious spices in it. The lamb tasted great and all-in-all it was really easy to eat in that wrap. My only problem with it was that I wanted more. Of course, at only $3.50, it was a great value and I couldn’t complain. I would definitely get one of these, but stick with lamb because I can’t imagine that tasting as good with any other meat.

Getting Fried at Asian Soul Kitchen

The Unvegan — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 22:59:40 +0000

It's a sooouuuul truck.

Combining Asian Food and Soul Food is kind of an interesting concept, and in doing so the Asian Soul Kitchen truck was born in LA. I decided to follow them on Twitter because their twitter name of “itsbentobaby” sounded pretty awesome to me. I found them on Abbot Kinney and took a look at their menu. Although some of their specific Asian foods like yakisoba looked good, I needed something with a lot more meat to it. To get that fix, I turned to their Lollipop Chicken.

This chicken was fried drumsticks covered in a tamarind glaze. The tamarind glaze was really what added the Asian touch to this chicken. It also came with a choice of white, brown or black rice, which isn’t exactly the norm for fried chicken. Nonetheless, I decided to go with black rice. When my chicken was ready, it came in a nice little box, which definitely elicited thoughts of bento. Inside, there were three decent-sized drumsticks and a wad of rice.

The chicken tasted pretty good, and the sauce was also nice. It’s hard to mess up fried chicken, but it’s also hard to make it special, so while this was pretty good, it didn’t change the way I think of fried chicken or make me always want to eat it with tamarind. Oh well. The price was also a bit steep. $5 is not a lot of money, but it is a lot for 3 drumsticks, especially when they tack on sales tax on top of that.

Asian Soul Kitchen was pretty good for a visit, but the Lollipop Chicken wasn’t great enough to make me desire more.

Dogs on a Truck from Dogtown Dogs

The Unvegan — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 19:02:50 +0000

A prefectly unveganized hot dog.

No, this isn’t LA’s new mobile petshop, although that is a genius idea that someone should really get on. Instead, it is another one of LA’s constantly expanding collection of mobile food trucks. Dogtown Dogs specializes in hot dogs, which isn’t entirely creative considering the existence of Let’s Be Frank. Despite this, I tracked them down one night after hearing some pretty good things about their dogs. As with most mobile eateries, I ended up finding them parked near the Brig on Abbot Kinney.

It's a pretty awesome truck design.

Upon looking at the menu, I instantly knew that this was going to be an improvement upon Let’s Be Frank. Each hot dog was all beef, which is always preferable, but two delicious-looking unvegan dogs stood out to me. The first was the Morning Commute, which was wrapped in applewood smoked bacon and topped with a fried egg. The other one was the Trailer Trash, which was topped with chili and Fritos. I briefly toyed with the idea of combining these to make the ultimate death dog, but then my arteries yelled at me. Instead, I just ordered the Morning Commute and decided that if it was good enough, I would return later to test out the Trailer Trash. I handed over six bucks, which was cheaper than the vegetable-laden dogs, but still a bit expensive for my taste. It’s hard not to think of hot hot dogs as cheap food when you are used to Costco.

Hot dog. With EGG sauce.

It took a surprisingly long time for the hot dog to be prepared, but I wouldn’t want to hurry bacon. Once it was finished, the dog looked pretty nice and happy to not be fighting against vegetables. I bit in and was also pretty happy. The bacon was nice and thick, but still crispy, while the dog had a nice snap to it when you bit in. I guess that’s why they are called “snap dogs.” The unfortunate part about the hot dog was that the egg wasn’t exactly made to fit in the shape of the dog. It was the regular semi-ovular shape of a fried egg, but that meant my first couple bites were egg-free. When I did reach that egg, the hot dog improved greatly. And then once my teeth pierced the yolk and sent the gooey insides running down the dog, I had a new dipping sauce!

Upon finishing my hot dog, I was pretty happy. This new truck didn’t do anything amazing or break any new ground, but they figured out how to make a pretty good hot dog, albeit in a somewhat costly way. Now if they could only figure out how to stretch the egg across the entire hot dog, that would be a great new trick for a relatively new dog.

More First Fridays with the Flying Pig

The Unvegan — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 18:18:32 +0000

Who wouldn't eat from a bright pink truck?

For my second course on First Fridays in Abbot Kinney, I headed out to one of LA’s newest food trucks, the Flying Pig. When I first read about this Mexican-French fusion truck, I wasn’t too amazed by what I read. Fusing Mexican food with Asian is one thing, but to try to fuse it with French as well seemed like a strange niche that I didn’t need to explore. Lo and behold, my opinion changed when I saw the truck and the happy customers outside of it.

Rather than making French food and putting it into tortillas and such, this truck went gourmet and uses French techniques to make really good food, then puts it into tortillas. The prices also reflected a bit of a gourmet markup, with tacos running for $2.50, rather than the average cost of $2. Their menu wasn’t really built for an unvegan, with almost every item featuring a vegetable of some sort. I settled upon the Grilled Beef Short Rib taco and the Tamarind Duck taco. The beef one came with oyster mushrooms and a mysterious “death sauce,” while the duck came with toasted almond and pickled beet salad. I asked for the beef without mushrooms, and was extremely disappointed to be told that the shrooms were mixed in with the beef. Thinking fast, I ordered the Smoked Chicken instead. This came with green curry and napa slaw. I ordered it without the nasty slaw and then ordered my duck without the absurd-sounding pickled beet salad.

Chicken on left, duck on right.

When my food was presented to me, I must admit I was a little disappointed in the diminutive size of the tacos. Sure, they were the same size as a typical taco truck taco, but I was hoping that extra 50 cents might somehow translate into more food. I was also a little upset that the Tamarind Duck taco had somehow been topped with clovers. I really have no problem with clovers, as they are tasteless and textureless, but it is unnecessary to cut down these poor, defenseless plants as they do nothing to enhance food in any way.

After all this consideration, I bit into the duck taco. It was pretty amazing. The duck was nicely glazed and perfectly flavored. Each bite was slightly chewy, but gave pretty easily. The toasted almonds were a nice touch, too. After this great experience, I tried out the smoked chicken. One again, I was floored by how good it was. The chicken pulled apart quite nicely and curry, coupled with the juices, brought the taco together quite well.

These tacos were kind of a luxury in the food truck world. It was definitely worth it for the extra 50 cents, yet it will be hard to pull myself away from all the varieties of cheaper tacos.