There’s something about state fairs that brings out the best America has to offer in terms of food creativity. Screw molecular gastronomy, I want to know what the latest in fried, bacon-wrapped and Flaming Hot Cheetos is in the world. And while the Arizona State Fair isn’t known as well as some others, there was still room for some interesting bites. One thing I didn’t bite, by the way, was a turkey leg, because, well, booooring.

Indian Fry Bread with Garlic, Mozzarella and Bacon

Indian Fry Bread is not something that existed where I grew up in Michigan. In the Southwest, it has a complicated and sad history, but it is remarkably similar to Elephant Ears. And this fry bread was flakey and not overly oily. That is, of course, until I topped it with garlic, mozzarella and bacon (because they were out of the maple required for maple bacon fry bread). It has an intense oregano hit to it as well, and despite the call to eat it like a taco, I found the pizza route to be a whole lot easier.

Flaming Hot Cheetos and Cheese Fries

I don’t know if it’s just the beautiful fluorescent red color or the actual flavor, but Flaming Hot Cheetos have become a remarkable new coating trend. These fries, which are also covered in nacho cheese, may not be the best use of Flaming Hot Cheetos, but I’d be lying if I didn’t say they delivered on their promise. Plus, unlike some other Flaming Hot Cheetos dishes I’ve seen, they at least had the composure to crush them up first.

Fried Cheesecake

Fried Oreos and Twinkies are in the rear view mirror. A newcomer to the fried dessert world (at least to me) is the fried cheesecake. The batter was pretty typical, the powdered sugar entirely unnecessary and the stick a failure (the cheesecake came right off). And while the first few bites were delicious and gooey, the thickest part was actual still kind of cold. Being cheesecake, this meant it was still delicious, but it meant that there was still much to do to ensure that Fried Cheesecake becomes a fair staple.

I find it important to note here that these were literally the only things I was capable of eating and even with that said, I couldn’t finish any of them. This is not because I couldn’t. And also not because I didn’t want to. But this was because I didn’t want to die. I mean I recognize that this is an inevitable fact of life, yet, the Arizona State Fair is not how I want to go down. Maybe at the Minnesota State Fair next year, though…

My lack of any sort of need for dessert has been pretty well-chronicled on this blog by now. Yet, there is one dessert that I have a hard time passing up and that dessert is pie. So, when I found out that Arizona’s best pies were on the way to Prescott before taking a quick trip to, uh, Prescott, I knew we had to make a stop at Rock Springs Cafe in Black Canyon City.

Unlike many pie purveyors, Rock Springs Cafe is about more than just pies, so I settled in for a meal. Since it was before 11:00 am, they would only serve from the breakfast menu and I found their breakfast burger to be right up my alley. It was a half pound, topped with a fried egg, bacon and cheddar cheese. It also came with country potatoes that were amazingly available without the onions and green peppers that usually go into such potatoes.

It came out with a perfectly shining, glistening egg yolk. The burger had clearly been hand-formed and cooked to a perfect medium rare, while the bacon was crispy AF. The only thing strange was that the cheese had not actually been melted onto the burger and sat atop the bacon instead of the other way around. I would explain it, but I can’t. Fortunately, being sandwiched between burger and egg softened it up and made it reasonably tasty considering cheese is almost never bad in any non-moldy state. I was also a huge fan of the country potatoes, which had been fried to a nice crisp on the outside and pillowy goodness on the inside. They were like Taco Bell’s potatoes and I mean that as an utmost compliment.

I finished off with the most important thing of all – pie. Per my disposition, I went with the banana cream pie and was in awe when the waitress brought out what amounted to a massive double slice. She claimed that she gave me two small slices, but I certainly wouldn’t have complained about just one of them. The pie was more cream than banana, which is not how I would have usually preferred it, but it was a good cream and not overly sweetened. The crust brought some nice salty balance to the pie and while I probably could have scarfed down both slices in one sitting, I exercised discipline and saved one for the road.

In my mind, Rock Springs Cafe is a must for anyone making the trek between the Phoenix area and either Flagstaff or Prescott. It’s basically right off the highway and if my experience is any indication, it’s hard to go wrong whether you’re going for a meal or just a slice.

One thing that will make the transition from Pasadena to Phoenix doable is the fact that La Grande Orange and its family of restaurants originated there. There’s no Luggage Room yet, but hopefully some day…

Nonetheless, there is a spot called Chelsea’s Kitchen that I hoped would please me and ease me. The menu even sported the same font and design as the aforementioned restaurants, almost as though to get me excited about Chelsea’s Kitchen.

The restaurant could best be described as a combination of American and Mexican, so I found myself a burger that represented that perfect middle ground where Mexican and American converge: the Green Chile Cheeseburger. Although the menu simply said it was topped with green chiles and cheddar, I inquired as to whether other vegetables would be present. The answer was a firm yes and I immediately requested to not have them and to get the burger medium rare.

Both of my requests were obliged, and although there seemed to be an excessive amount of green chile, it was something I could handle. What I couldn’t handle, though, was the burger itself. I can’t say for certain what the issue was, but there was simply something mushy about the innards of the burger. It wasn’t because they hadn’t been cooked right, so I’m going to chalk it up to the grind of the beef or the ratio of the meat to fat. Regardless of what it was, something was just off. But what wasn’t off were the delicious fries. So, there’s that.

Or perhaps what was truly off was my expectations, which are admittedly not high in general, but certainly high when it comes to La Grande Orange restaurants. I mean, their other two restaurants were non-stop great. In any case, there are plenty of burgers to be had and sadly Chelsea’s Kitchen did not appear to be one of them to be had again.

Breweries are the best, right? And they typically have awesome food. That’s why I was pretty excited to find out Phoenix was getting a new brewery called Helio Basin and tried to make my way there at the first opportunity. Plus, it didn’t hurt that I had a connection at the place and wanted to show some support.

Like any good drinker, I started out by ordering a flight of all the beers on tap. There were seven in total and they came served on a piece of wood shaped like the state of Arizona, so you know, like lumpy. I drank my way through the beers and decided that the Citrus Paradisi was the best. It was a hoppy blonde and who doesn’t like those?

I wasn’t terribly hungry and found the menu to be a bit short for a brewery. It centered around “tortillas,” which were really just tacos by another name. I chose the pork belly variety, which had the fewest veggies (read: none) and include pistachio and pine nut mole, roasted corn, cotija and cilantro. The pork belly was cooked perfectly and I definitely appreciated the other taco innards, which enhanced the flavor without taking over.

I must say, though, that I would have liked a more robust menu. I get that Phoenix is the Southwest and tacos are basically required, but a little something more would have really won the place over for me. As it was, they put together some good beer and food, so I’m sure Helio Basin will become a mainstay in Phoenix.

As a good unvegan, I pretty much refuse to eat at True Food. I say that having paid them a visit before, and knowing nothing good could come of a repeat. Thus, when I found out we had lunch plans at True Food in Scottsdale Quarter I immediately made moves to incite a revolution and head to Zinburger instead. It was successful enough to get a buddy to join me and so it began.

With fries. Spicy Green Chili Fries to be exact. These things were recommended by our waitress and were topped with the namesake green chili cheese sauce, roasted jalapenos, chipotle sauce, cotija cheese and chives. The fries held up well against that onslaught of toppings and they managed to have a great kick while being packed with other umami-powered flavor.

The burger I opted for was the Breakfast Burger. It may not have been the most creative burger on the menu, but the ingredients were some of my favorites: bacon, avocado, egg and American Cheese. There was mayo and lettuce on it as well, but I had no need for that. I wasn’t asked how I wanted it ordered and also wasn’t made aware that there would be a goddamn pickle on my stupid plate. The burger was definitely good. It didn’t bring anything revolutionary to the table, but the execution was great. Medium rare would have been nice, but the medium burger was at least juicy, if not huge.

It essentially struck me as an upscale Rounds Burgers that was executed like a non-upscale Rounds Burgers. I liked it and would definitely go back (that pickle certainly didn’t help), but it’s also not a burger place I’d generally be willing to drive across town for.

When you name a restaurant Grassroots, you have to assume that meat lovers will be fearful. Aside from awesome 60s music, the name evokes a hippy dippy vegan spot. Yet, it is anything but. Sure, this Scottsdale spot caters to the veggie-loving crowd, but it caters to unvegans no less so. Plus, let’s not forget that it does harken to the 60s music crowd.

Thus, I found myself ordering a full rack of their Carolina Baby Backs (by recommendation of the waitress when I asked her to choose between the ribs and brisket). The menu described them as slow smoked, grill finished and topped with thin BBQ sauce (presumably a Carolina thing). They also came with shoestring fries.

I know I shouldn’t be surprised, but the ribs turned out to be pretty delicious. They had a good smokey taste and the BBQ sauce was pleasant. Did they compare to BBQ from the Carolinas? I can’t say, as I have never been. But I can say that they fell off the bone really nicely, were good and tender and had solid flavor. In other words, I wasn’t left aching for a trip to the Southeast.

In other words, these ribs got the job done. Like if I made ribs at home, I’d like them to be like these. Enough to satisfy a craving, but something slightly missing keeping them from reaching the next level.

In a land of perpetual drought (Arizona), there is a place that dares put cucumber slices in its water, thus ruining its precious resource. That place is O.H.S.O. in Arcadia, Scottsdale and while scholars maintain that the meaning behind O.H.S.O. was lost thousands of years ago, today it means a few things. One is biking, another is dogs, yet another is brewery and finally it also represents brunch.

Unfortunately, we did not go for brunch. We went for lunch on a weekday, when the vast menu is whittled down to a few choice items. Of these choice options, unvegan options were quite limited, but I managed to find a burger with nearly everything I could ask for. It was called the AZ Burger and was topped with jalapeno cream cheese, poblano aioli, onions, lettuce and tomato, with a side of fries. I ordered without the onions, lettuce and tomato and asked for it medium-rare.

And, apparently due to my picky-ness, O.H.S.O. decided to just bring me out my burger fully deconstructed. It was something I had never seen before, but I can’t say it was a bad thing. The only trouble was my not knowing exactly the balance of ingredients they would have put together in the kitchen. I did my best and the burger was, well, fine. I thought the patty itself was pretty nice with a good ground and a nice amount of pink in the middle, however, the cream cheese and poblano aioli just didn’t really add anything to the burger. In fact, I might have just been happier with a slice of cheese and some ketchup.

Yet, I found that O.H.S.O. was an intriguing enough restaurant to come back to. I wouldn’t get the same burger (or water for that matter), but I wouldn’t mind seeing if their brunch was worthwhile.

Sedona isn’t exactly a fancy-pants place. It’s more for new agers and outdoorsy people than those who prefer to put on a suit and tie every day. So when we told a couple different people we were celebrating our marriage up there, they all suggested eating at Cucina Rustica in the Village of Oak Creek, which was apparently the place to go for such things. As evidenced by its name, Cucina Rustica is an Italian place with a fair variety of options at slightly pricey, but mostly reasonable prices considering the place is for tourists.

After much thought, I opted for Lisa’s Luscious Lasagna. This slice of classic Italian came with bolognese sauce, Italian sausage, ricotta, mozzarella and parmesan cheese. The result was quite a delicious mix of Italian deliciousness. I can’t say I was happy with the broccolini and cauliflower garnishes, but luckily I didn’t have to pick them free from my meaty slice of Italy.

I would definitely recommend Cucina Rustica for anyone looking to up the fancy level on a trip to Sedona. The atmosphere is great, the staff is incredibly friendly and although the food can’t be called exciting, it certainly gets the job done.

Pretty much since I first started visiting my fiancee’s parents in Carefree, I’ve had Brisam’s and their supposedly amazing burger pointed out to me on nearly every trip through Cave Creek. Finally, I had enough and demanded we go so I could check out the burger for myself.

Brisam’s is essentially a sports bar and things probably get pretty crowded at night, but we ended up going for lunch and got a quick seat and a quick look at the menu. While their signature Brisam’s Burger probably attracts the most eaters, I couldn’t get into it due to the pile of mushrooms it claimed to have. Instead, I opted for the Blackened Burger, which had some Cajun-style spices and was topped with blue cheese. It came with lettuce, tomato and onion on the side to add to the burger, but I told the waitress that they didn’t need to waste those veggies on me. On the side I had a choice of a couple salads, cole slaw and fries and went with the obvious choice of salad. Err…I mean fries.

It turned out that the Blackened Burger was a great choice. Not only were the spices perfect, the burger was juicy and cooked to a nice medium-well. It had just the right amount of blue cheese to keep balance with the spices and the roll-like bun did a fantastic job of keeping it all together.

The fries were also great, being crispy on the outside and soft on the inside.

Brisam’s is definitely a place I would recommend for visitors to Cave Creek. The Blackened Burger is definitely a winner and I certainly could eat a few more of those.

Friends, Romans, unvegans…what is true food to you? Is it gluten-free? Is it meaty? Is it kale? The answer is likely all of the above, because true food is what you make of it. Yet, a growing restaurant chain is trying to change all that. Calling itself True Food, it already has an air of pretension about itself. True Food tries to follow Dr. Weil’s anti-inflammatory diet, which actually isn’t as bad as it sounds. Yes, it mistakenly loads a ton of vegetables into foods, but at least the menu at True Food had some remotely meaty options, even a Bison Burger.

But despite the burger, I was in the mood for their Shaved Turkey sandwich, which the menu claimed to be served with tomato, onion, grape and yogurt dressing. All this was said to come in pita, with the choice of kale or sweet potato hash on the side. As always, I ordered without the sandwich usurpers known as tomato and onion, then (surprise) I chose the hash over that strange weed known as kale.

When it arrived at my table, I was shocked to find the sandwich has sprouted lettuce and cucumber. Neither of these had been on the menu, yet there they were. It seemed that True Food had a liar of menu. Damn you, Dr. Weil!

After getting over my initial dissatisfaction at True Food’s menu, I cleansed my sandwich of its vegetables and was happy to find a far amount of meat with none of the residuals that pickles or tomatoes would have left behind. Then I got down to eating and found myself with a pretty good sandwich. The shaved turkey was definitely top grade quality and had both great flavor and juiciness. The yogurt dressing added an additional juiciness to keep the sandwich from getting dry and the grapes threw in a little sweetness to keep me in balance. The pita itself was also great, being both soft and firm at the same time.

But realistically, while the unvegan-approved components of the sandwich were good, I didn’t feel as though I was eating anything really special. The same went for the sweet potato hash, which was a good concept, but poorly executed. All at once, these chunks of potato were dry, undercooked and under salted. Needless to say, True Food and I did not part as best buds.