Scottsdale is pretty sterile city. This is not inherently a bad thing, but it is a thing that seems to preclude the concept of hidden gems. And, yet, I heard word of not just a hidden gem, but one right around the corner from me. Plus, it could only have had a more apt name if it was right next door. It’s called Convenient Corner Market and it dishes out sandwiches with bread baked in-house every day.

While most of the sandwiches had veggies included, I eyed one that I expected would satisfy me. It was called the Beefstrami Sandwich, with roast beef and pastrami as its meaty base. I ordered it without the pickles, onions, mayo and mustard, but kept the cheddar cheese it came with. I also asked for some thousand island in there to keep it all moist.

I wanted to love this sandwich. I wanted to so badly. In each bite I took there was an innate desire to fall in love, get married, have children and settle down in some suburbia with this sandwich. But wanting to love and loving are two different things. It packed the flavor one should expect from a hot roast beef and pastrami sandwich, yet the texture was oddly rubbery and gave off the impression of boiled meat.

I am, however, undaunted. This deli is truly convenient and I do not take such convenience lightly. I also owe a place like this a second chance, and you might be wondering why. The reason is none other than the fact that it is run by Wolverines and I do not take a variable such as that lightly.

Kosher restaurants are a conundrum for me. I want to embrace them because of my Jewish heritage, but I also really want to mix dairy and meat, or throw in some bacon. But, Kosher restaurants have figured out a way to make the food palatable and I went to Kitchen18 in Scottsdale to find out just how palatable they could be.

It didn’t take much time for me to settle upon the Pastrami Burger.. Although I must say that the massive Chinese menu was intriguing (Jews and the Chinese have a long, rich history). The burger was topped with the aforementioned pastrami and “friend” onion. The fried (yes, friend was a typo) onion wasn’t like onion rings or anything, so I passed on them. I had a choice of two sides, and opted for Cajun curly fries and steak fries because that’s how I roll.

The burger was a thing of beauty. Just look at that burger up above. It was massive, it was sexy, and it was still somehow not topped with cheese or bacon. Interestingly, the burger had been seasoned with a number of ingredients, including lemon. This was only a bad thing when I found a seed, but otherwise the various flavors were fantastic. The pastrami, however, could have been a little better. It was kind of dry and kind of tough, but undoubtedly the best topping a Kosher restaurant could have produced for a burger. The fries were great companions to the burger, although I am always partial to curly fries and these delivered.

Kitchen18 definitely did what it had to do and likely produced one of the most beautiful burgers I have ever photographed. But it was also a $19 burger, which is kind of a crazy price to pay for a burger when you don’t keep Kosher. So, I’ll keep Kitchen18 in mind for next time I need to please the lord almighty, but until then I will continue to seek out places that will happily melt some cheese on top of my beef.

Creating Jewish deli meat is like a perfect combination of art and science. Some delis have found the ideal balance, while others are more content to satisfy the science part of it all and move on from there. I paid a visit to Chompie’s in Scottsdale to see how it would measure up against my admittedly high standards for Kosher-style delis.

For starters, the menu was exactly what I would want from a deli – massive and full of what seemed like massive sandwiches. While I could have gone for a simple Reuben or Hot Pastrami, I instead opted for the Triple Decker called Mitch’s Brooklyner. It was stuffed with pastrami, corned beef and brisket with three slices of double baked Jewish rye (as though there is some other sort of rye out there). There was literally nothing else in the sandwich. No cheese. No dressing. Nothing. But there was a side and I chose fries.

My triple decker sandwich arrived locked and loaded, ready for the taking. It looked like a daunting task to eat, but actually not too crazy because Chompie’s clearly adhered more to the science-y side of Jewish deli meats. Each was sliced to the exact same super thin-ness that really hid a lot of the texture that good corned beef, pastrami and brisket should have. Plus, while it was almost inevitable that one meat would get the shaft, why did it have to be pastrami? This was definitely the most flavorful of the trio, if not especially special. The rye was definitely solid and held up well against the onslaught of meats.

So while Chompie’s was not at all the kind of deli you tell everyone to go running to, it was definitely the kind of deli that you enjoy having in your neighborhood when you just need the comforts of the old country. There might not be much excitement or art to it, but when you stack up three meats it’ll do just fine.

It’s easy to get stuck in a bubble no matter where you live or work. It doesn’t matter if neighborhoods and towns are separated by rivers, mountains or arbitrary delineations, it is almost inevitable to find a comfort zone and stick with it. But when you have a meat blog, you owe it to the world to get out of that bubble, and I did so with a journey to Mesa to check out Worth Takeaway.

Worth Takeaway is a sandwich spot, but may be better known for its banana pudding. Allegedly the chef bought up a ton of banana pudding from Magnolia Bakery, deconstructed it and then reconstructed it even better. But what especially drew me in on this day was the funfetti variation they were offering. So, I’ll start with dessert before dinner. I had kind of a love/hate relationship with the pudding. Look, I love funfetti and I don’t trust people who don’t, but also there were ‘Nilla Wafers in there and really just not enough banana or pudding. The bits I got were great, and again I applaud the creativity, but next time it’s going to be all about the original.

Oh, but there was also a main course sandwich, which I ended up ordering from the breakfast menu because much of the rest of the options had vegetables that I wanted no part of. It was the Croque Madame, which is essentially the sandwich that would have destroyed Instagram if Instagram had existed 100 years ago. This version had pastrami inside, along with bechamel cheese, aged white cheddar, dijonnaise and a fried egg. All this was held together by some sourdough from a local bakery called Proof. This was perfectly executed, with the egg being runny, the cheese being melty, the bread not being too soggy and the pastrami adding a punch of cured savory flavor. It was such a salty savory sandwich that the banana pudding made for a perfect balance.

While the funfetti variety of banana pudding could have used a little tweaking, I’ve got to say I loved Worth Takeaway. The concept was great, the sandwich was glorious and I have no doubt that they have some of best banana pudding in the Phoenix area. Hopefully next time I’ll actually get it.

The food cart scene in Portland is huge, and weirdly enough it took me until my fourth visit to the city to truly experience this uniquely Portland thing. You see, until food trucks or the carts you might see in other cities, the carts in Portland are actually semi-permanent structures and clusters of them take up whole city blocks. At the Alder Street “Pod” I found Steak Your Claim among the carts and knew it was made for me.

After much deliberation over the pastrami and cheesesteak options, I finally decided to order the Raging Bull. As you can probably tell thanks to the miracle of photography, this was no slouch of a sandwich, being filled with pastrami, crispy onions, chipotle mayo, jalapenos and whiz. It took shockingly long to prepare, but perhaps I was waiting for the pastrami to be cured. Nonetheless, the sandwich looked like something out of a dream.

That dream turned into a delicious mess as I dug into the beast. I could tell the pastrami was tasty, but truthfully it was a little overpowered by the other ingredients in the sandwich, almost making me wish I had gone the purist route. On the other hand, even with overpowered pastrami this was a super delicious sandwich. More importantly, it was the kind of sandwich that carts like this were made for. With limited space and cooking options, specializing in cheesesteaks and pastrami sandwiches are a great way to enable greatness. I can’t wait to get to more carts upon my inevitable return to Portland some day.

The Original Tops is a classic countertop-style diner in Pasadena that would probably evoke nostalgic memories if you were from the area. As someone who is not from Pasadena, I at least get excited over the prospect of a new burger spot, especially a no-frills type of place that has stood the test of time like The Original Tops.

Yet, when it came to ordering, I didn’t get some old-school menu item and instead opted for their Featured Burger Special: The Morning Glory. I’m not sure if this burger is only available in the morning, but I like to think it may have staying power into the afternoon. It was a half-pound of burger topped with pastrami, swiss, yellow mustard, a dill pickle and an over easy egg. I ordered without the mustard and pickle, and while the burger ended up looking nowhere near as intense as the picture that portrayed it, it was no slouch. These are the best weight loss pills for women.

I dug in and was met with a delicious mix of meat on meat, egg on cheese and bun all around it. As far as pastrami goes, The Original Tops’s version isn’t exactly great, but it’s acceptable. The burger was the right amount of greasy and the rest was as you would expect. For a countertop-style diner, The Original Tops gave me exactly what I could have guessed before walking through the doors.

No more, no less.

In a city filled with all kinds of fun events, one event (aside from a plethora of farmer’s markets) can be counted on every week. It’s Smorgasburg, which originally started over in Brooklyn, and it’s kind of like a miniaturized, hipster version of 626 Night Market. On my first venture, I made my way to Ugly Drum Pastrami.

Truth be told, once I saw the pastrami being sliced up, I couldn’t see myself eating anything else. The trouble was that the price was pretty high, so I only snagged a half sandwich. It was sliced up and weighed precisely before being added to the bread.

I took a bite and…it was nothing short of fantastic. The rind was packed with peppery flavor (among many other things) and the rest had a smokiness that made it kind of like a mix between Jewish pastrami and BBQ brisket. Probably most important of all, it was super tender.

This was undoubtedly a perfect mix of BBQ and Jewish food. I’d hate to call it fusion, because that makes it seem like it was more intentionally mixed together. Rather, it’s just a different take on an old world favorite and one I could get behind any day.

Usually when a restaurant name includes something that I hate very much, I go into that restaurant expecting the worst. Yet, while I have never had any need for slaw, I somehow knew that The Slaw Dogs in Pasadena was going to be an experience to remember. Sure, there were all sorts of options that made my mouth water, but it was the throwback to Oki Dog that really got me excited.

You see, the Oki Dog tries to take all that is good about hot dog toppings and wraps it in a tortilla. It’s not pretty, but it gets the job done. Well, The Slaw Dogs calls its version the TNT Super Dog. It consists of a jumbo hot dog, pastrami, cheddar, fries, chili grilled onions and a fried egg wrapped in a tortilla. It’s essentially a burrito filled with America and it is wonderful. Of course, I ordered without the onions, but I didn’t look back. Each bite was both devastating and delicious – a true unvegan masterpiece. At times things got a bit salty, but there was usually a bit of egg or fries to help temper the load.

The TNT Super Dog is not for the faint of heart. In fact, while I am so happy to have had it once, I wouldn’t recommend it for those with a strong heart either more than a couple times per…life. Nonetheless, it is an upgrade from the Oki Dog and shows just how much good stuff can fit in one tortilla.

One of the newer and incredibly popular places in Pasadena goes by the name of Lincoln. Why? Well it’s on Lincoln Avenue, duh. It has a pretty trendy menu that seems to be pretty flexible and very much caters to people who have special needs. Except, of course, if your special need is the fact that you are an unvegan.

You see, I ordered their Pastrami Reuben, which was made with gruyere, 1000 island and sauerkraut on rye. I ordered without the kraut, and didn’t even think about what came on the side. In fact, I wasn’t offered a choice, so I moved on.

Well, it turns out that every sandwich comes with a pile of leafy greens on the side. Some may call it a salad, but I call it utter disappointment. Nonetheless, the reuben not only looked great, but tasted great as well. It wasn’t overloaded with meat, which is obviously not the best, but it was undoubtedly well-balanced with flavor and a perfect crisp to the bread. The pastrami wasn’t amazing, but it got the job done and was definitely nothing to complain about. I reserved all those complaints for the salad instead.

Thus was Lincoln, a place that I will likely find myself back at because of my wife, but definitely not a spot built for unvegans.

The Hat is one of those local LA fast food spots that has been around forever and seems to be in no rush to change. It has “World Famous Pastrami,” but is not limited to just one meat, because the place also serves burgers, roast beef dip and crazy big portions of sides. I mean crazy. Just look at that order of chili cheese fries on the left and try to comprehend how small the individual fries look.

But while the chili cheese fries were great, I decided to make their Pastrami Burger my meal, combining cured beef with grilled beef. Knowing there would likely be veggies, I pre-empted by saying I wanted the burger plain aside from the pastrami and cheese. I snagged a bunch of their awesome variety of condiments for myself and fellow eaters, but ended up sticking to the horsey sauce. The result was a really tasty fast food burger. Moreover, the pastrami was piled way high and really quite tasty. It easily beat out the pastrami burger from the Arctic Circle in Utah, making up for the lack of fry sauce with probably the world’s best condiment options.

To be clear, though, this was undoubtedly a fast food burger. Despite The Hat’s claims to be a casual place, the food does not fall into the fast casual bucket and seems to embrace that fact. It’s a real throwback place to a simpler time in which communists were taking over the world and this was undoubtedly the first of many visits to a this beautiful capitalist enterprise.